Turner Family Blog

I Talk to Bread

2012-02-13T07:19:00.000-06:00

Saturday night we celebrated my birthday a day early with some very dear friends of ours from Georgia. These friends are people that I entrust with my life and dear brothers and sisters in Christ. They have journeyed beside us through times filled with laughs and through times showered with tears. They are a vital part of our Biblical community.

As we sat at the table at an Italian restaurant, I perused the menu to find one of three or four things that I knew I could eat (looking at the nutritional information online is a MUST these days to prepare for this situation). I chose a chicken dish with a little cheese (goat cheese), sundried tomatoes and green beans. Oh, and a salad....I specifically asked for a salad with only things from the garden. Did I inwardly laugh when the waitress asked if celery grew in a garden? Yes, a little. I had to specifically tell her what did not grow in a garden...cheese, croutons, etc. And, I smiled a little knowing that I had made a wise choice although it was really hard.

THEN, it happened. That same waitress (who by now is clearly trying to sabotage all of the teaching, training and learning I've done over the past eleven weeks) brought bread to our table. Not just one basket of bread but four! And, where did she sit TWO of the baskets....right in front of me. With all of the people at the table, why did she set those in front of me? I ask you...why?

As people began to quickly devour the bread, I had to take a deep breath and remember why I am doing what I am doing. God has commanded it. Period. It's not my opinion or my preference. It's what He is demanding of me...and I submit.

I pick up one of the baskets and uncover the delicousness that lay inside. I spoke aloud, "I love Jesus more than I love you." I set the bread right back down. There, I did it...I talked to the bread. And, I was reminded that Jesus is the Bread of Life. He WILL sustain me when I think I cannot go on. He WILL persevere when I cannot and want to quit.

One of my friends who has held me accountable and been on this journey with me was at that restaurant. Thankfully she sat right across from me. She ordered a salad with eggplant and artichokes. Her sweet hubby ordered salmon with green beans. We could smell the pasta and sauces everywhere. Yet, God's calling and command were louder. What a joy to have a friend who can sympathize and understand the struggle. For Dave and Nellie....you inspire me and challenge me. You have encouraged us in the Word in living this way. We are eternally grateful for you.

For those of you who have read the blog and know my struggle with eating healthy and exercising, thank you for your constant emails and texts and messages that have shown me I am not alone. I have found great encouragement from all of you. I have begun to spend some of the time I have running in prayer for you. As I struggle I know that many of you struggle too. So I no longer run just for me and my health...I am running so that I can continue this struggle and see victory over it. I run for you to run one day too (or ride or stretch or whatever you are called to do). I will keep running...with God's amazing grace to press me down and push me onward.

The Conversation...

2012-02-07T16:13:00.000-06:00

The temperatures are in the 30's in the early morning hours, and it's dark outside. But, God has shown me that it is the best time for me to attempt to run. So, I try. Lest you get any ideas of how graceful I am and how easy it comes to me, here's the conversation God and I had yesterday:

me - Lord, I cannot keep running. I want to give up now.

Him - Keep running. I'll sustain you.

me - (crying and talking aloud) I am telling you I can't.

Him - No you can't. But I can. I am powerful and I am OVER you, your body and your mind.

me - Lord I know...but my body doesn't seem to get the message.

Him - you are still relying on your own strength. Rely on me.

me - (walking now) What do you mean? I cannot do this without You. You started this.

Him - no, YOU started this. These are your consequences, remember?

me - Yes Lord...I did start this by making wrong choices so many times. I repent of my gluttony, laziness, pride and negligence. I have clearly sinned against you. Lord, I confess my sins and give them to you. Please forgive me. Show me how to honor you in what I eat and how I live.

Him - Stop stepping on the scale.

me - Um, what?

Him - you heard me. You are relying on that scale for your success instead of relying on me. You are using that scale to measure your obedience...use my Word. Are you doing what I've commanded you to do?

me - Yes Lord, I am. It's really, really hard. But You know that I am obeying You.

Him - Then put up the scale until I tell you to get it back out. Tell JT to hide it from you.

me - Yes Lord. I trust You.

This is hard...really hard. I have had success in relying on God's Word to show me my sin in relation to eating and exercise. I have obeyed what He has shown me to do. I am seeing progress. I've lost 33 lbs. I've run at least half of a 5K and am signed up for another one in March. But, that is NOT enough. I must stop looking at the scale for affirmation of God's plan at work in my life and look to Him alone.

JT hid the scale...I have no idea where it is...and I am NOT looking. If you see me at a place where there is a scale accessible, please help a sister out...hide the scale people, hide the scale.

Loving God More.

2012-02-05T15:22:00.000-06:00

It's only been ten weeks since our lives have been turned upside down by the conviction of the Holy Spirit. Can I say that it feels like an eternity? Why do I think that I can lose this weight and the unhealthy habits in lightning speed when it took me 42 (almost) years to get here? Why do I expect to be 2 lbs lighter each day when I put on this added weight over the past 15 years? Uuggh....I realize that I don't want to deal with the consequences of the sin in my life. I would like those consequences to go away or be less severe or painful. Can't I choose my consequences? Yes I can...and I did. Each gluttonous act, every denial of discipline, and all of my lazy tendencies led to these consequences. I chose this. I sinned, and these are my consequences.

But, fear not! It is not all gloom and doom. In fact, there has been a great deal of victorious moments in the last 70 days. God has recently led me to a book called Made To Crave by Lysa Terkeurst (thank you Amanda Mc for that recommendation). I have told many of my friends that I do NOT like this book...I don't know this Lysa character, but apparently she has been stalking me for years. She has been a fly on the wall of my home and my heart. She has invaded my private thoughts and my desires. It is unbelievable. I have never read a book that has convicted more (with the exception of the Bible). It points straight to me and my sin. I sure wish she would have given credit to my life as obviously it is about me.... In all seriousness, I have finally felt like I am not alone. Lysa verbalizes everything I have felt and done in regard to eating for most of my life.

The most convicting part of this book was this statements, "I rely on and love food more than I rely on and love God." Me too. Me too. Me too. I have loved food more than I have loved God. But, that is no longer. I submit willingly to these consequences and have allowed the Holy Spirit free reign over this once hidden part of my life. Tell me what to eat, when to eat and how/when/where to exercise. And, He has!

In addition, the Holy Spirit has prompted me to share my story with a group of people that holds me accountable. God led me to a group of friends/family who are as varied as you can imagine. They range from a stay at home mom to a homeschooling mom to a software engineer to a grad student to an accountant and more...I am close to some and am growing closer to others. God assembled this group for me...to challenge me. They can ask me what I am eating and when I am exercising. They are the accountability God desires in my life in this area. I am inspired and spurred on by them!

Just yesterday we (JT, Kaitlyn, Madison and I) ran a 5K. When I say "ran," JT ran the whole time. I ran half of it. When I participated in my last 5K 6 weeks ago, I ran maybe 1/2 mile at the most. So, I'm improving. We are signing up for another race in March. With God's sustaining grace, we are aiming for a 1/2 marathon in November. To God alone be the glory!

Thank you all for running this race with me! May God be glorified in all that I say and do whether in teaching or studying or eating or exercising!

Rebuilding....

2012-01-28T07:39:00.000-06:00

In 2005 our home was rebuilt after a fire that destroyed most of what we owned. It was devastating. The hardest part was NOT the rebuild but the demolition. We had to watch our home be destroyed so that it could be rebuilt.

In the same fashion, God is rebuilding our family right now. Our physical bodies. For years we have created a sinful lifestyle of overeating, gluttony, pride, shame/guilt, lack of exercise and self-discipline. November of this past year brought us to a breaking point. JT and I both began sensing that God was telling us to stop. So, we did and we prayed for wisdom and discernment in how to tackle this monumental task.

Behold, God sent a friend who just happen to tell us about an eating plan, the 17 day diet by Dr. Moreno, that seemed to fit our lives. When my friend Debra mentioned it, she commented, "I can do anything for 17 days." It struck a chord with me, and I bought the book. We slowly began reading it and adjusting our lives. We even stuck with it over the Christmas holidays.

Then we began an exercise program to learn how to run distances. That has been VERY hard. Our age and our lack of exercise has led us to a point where everything we do is a chore. We are reaping the consequences of our sin.

But, God has shown us so much about ourselves. Just today my friend Amanda M. mentioned that we are rebuilding our temples...that thought rang in my head. Yes! That's exactly what we are doing. We are allowing God to demolish all of the sin, the consequences, the shame/guilt and to rebuild what He desires in its place.

It is painful. It is shameful. But, it is glorious and it is good. For every bite of food I put in my mouth...for every step I take in exercise...may it be to His glory and His fame.

I dare not write any of this for public viewing as this will hold me even more accountable. But I NEED it people...please ask me what I'm eating, how I'm exercising...I NEED the Biblical community in this battle. The enemy keeps telling me to stop and that there is no need. But, God reminds me that He is greater and He has a greater plan.

Please join me in honoring God with our rebuilt temples.

It's been a year...

2012-01-26T06:38:00.000-06:00

A year ago today we became a family of 7...it was clearly God's plan. He had orchestrated this crazy family before time began, and we just got to watch Him work it all out for His glory. I am still struggling to remember what life was like before Zeke and Elly became ours. It is a faint memory.

God has shown Himself to us as Provider, Healer, Savior, Shelter, Strong Tower, Faithful, and True so many times over the past year. We have seen Him take 2 little children who were left to their own devices and overlooked and neglected and turned them into snuggling, squealing, playing children in a forever family. We are amazed at God's goodness and His ways.

Zeke and Elly are truly amazing. They have taught us so much about ourselves and our relationship with the Heavenly Father. We have relied on Him relentlessly and pursued Him with every ounce of energy we have. He has sustained us.

Now, don't get me wrong. Our lives are far from glamorous. Just the other day I was scheduled to speak to a group of women and I had daydreams of what I would do beforehand....sit in a big leather chair reading my Bible, praying and sipping hot tea. Instead I had one child who got sick at 2 in the morning and had to sleep with me (JT went to the couch because a queen size bed couldn't hold that child and us...). The child was still sick the next morning and needed some added attention. I tried to read my Bible as 3 other littles climbed into my lap wanting to snuggle. Then, I called out spelling words to another child. It was not exactly the morning I had hoped for...but it is not about MY hopes and dreams. It is about the Lord's will and submitting to that. I am finding joy in following His plan and not mine.

Happy Gotcha Day Ezekiel Duke Turner and Ellyson Faith Turner. You are stuck with us and we are thankful.

What is Good?

2012-01-25T13:20:00.000-06:00

What is good? Is there anything in me that is good? NO, ABOLUTELY NOT! The only good you see in me is Jesus Christ alone! Everything else you see in my life - impatience, anger, bitterness, hasty words, unkind words, resentment, etc. - they are the real me. I am tempted and give in to the temptation of the enemy every day. I am unworthy.

But, I know ONE who is worthy of all the praise and honor and glory forever! He lives within me, and any good you see in me is from HIM alone. Anytime God allows me to truly care for another person or to give Him honor or to serve someone else, it is HIM in me.

My flesh desires what is worldly, but His love is stronger than my flesh. He reminds me daily (minute by minute) that He is Sovereign and in charge. He is worthy of all that I have, all that I am, and all that I do.

Today I am reminded of the fact that He is faithful inspite of who I am. No matter what I have chosen, done or not done, He alone has directed my steps. When I have been faithless, He has shown Himself faithful EVERY time. Praise His name for His faithfulness!

How has God showed Himself faithful to you today?

Gotcha Day #4

2011-12-26T06:00:00.003-06:00

Almost six years ago God confirmed His calling on our lives to adopt. We had looked and looked for days at a 8 x 10 picture that Jim and Donna Houston gave us. That photograph was of a precious little boy in Guatemala. We had NO intentions of adopting..it was NEVER on our radar. Our family was set. God's family was not. He set the lonely in our family just as He says He will do. And, we felt it...strongly. It would NOT go away. So, we followed God's calling and set out on a ride that would change our lives.

Fast forward 23 months to December of 2007 when we walked into Eagle's Nest orphanage in the mountains of Guatemala. Sitting on the floor was the same little boy with the biggest brown eyes. One of the nannies was tying his shoe, and my heart burst at the seams. Everything I had done (copies of birth certificates, phone calls, doctor's visits, recommendations, meetings, raising money, etc) and every second we had to wait (almost 2 years) came flooding back. God spoke to me clearly and said, "I have pursued you the same way you have pursued this child." My heart was full. I KNEW the Father's love for me, and I rested in in.

I do not post the following pic because it flatters me in ANY way...it does just the opposite. It shows the overwhelming love that God showed me that day. I was so overwhelmed with His love for me and the thought that He wanted me to love like that....Oh the joy and the responsibility!

That first year was hard, difficult and lonely. But, that was a previous blog....

Fast forward 4 years to the amazing Josiah Jett Turner who keeps us on our toes ALL the time. He is a precious gift from God. I do not remember the time before he was ours. He's our first son, and we adore him. Just this year he gave his life to Christ and is working through the discipleship material now to be baptized. About 6 weeks ago, he meandered up some stairs at Brook Hills and waited shyly outside of the office of Pastor Jim Houston. (Jim and Donna are the ones who first found Jett in Guatemala and were with us with we were united with our son.) In a way that only Jett can, he scooted into the office and gave Jim a big hug. Then, he said, "I have to ask you something." Jim said, "Of course, go ahead." And, with a huge smile on his face, Jett asked, "Since you found me in Guatemala, will you baptize me here?" It wasn't too hard to see the tears in Jim's eyes but they were a little blurry considering the tears in mine. Full circle had come...God was praised and honored...it is well with my soul.

School is out....

2011-12-08T07:32:00.000-06:00

With 5 children we often get asked questions about how we handle various life circumstances. One of those is school. Five is not so different than three now that we prioritize what it is that God wants us to teach our children.

It is not a neat, clean-cut schedule that works every day. In fact, no two days during a week look alike. And, God is teaching me patience and flexibility. I'm not so good at either of those...technically, I stink at both of them. I like order. I like a plan. I like a schedule. Label makers, new pencils, math games and school/office supply stores simply make me giddy. I admit it..I am a school geek. And, I like it.

But, not all of my kids are wired that way. I have five VERY different children when it comes to learning. One is an independent worker and needs little guidance. Another loves to discuss everything and shoots for grades of A+ on everything. A different child struggles with just following directions and sitting still for longer than 3 seconds but has a passion and trap mind for science (not my forte, by the way). Still another loves to hear words of affirmation when he gets something right and does a little happy dance each time he hears, "I am so proud of you." And finally there is one who does not like to be wrong but takes great pride in pointing out letters to anyone and everyone who will listen (including during the sermon at church).

So, in taking all of that into consideration, we made a plan for school for this year. And, within one week, we were adjusting that. So, we all made another plan....adjustment again. Another plan...another adjustment. By adjustment, I do mean that we crumpled up the schedule and threw it in the garbage and went back to the drawing board. I would have burned it, but since our house burned down 6 years ago, no one here is fond of the smell of smoke. So, we are now operating on our 4th schedule for the year, and it has been working fine for the past 16 weeks.

JT and I get up fairly early but not before one of our children who is the earliest riser in the house (she wants to get her shower/quiet time, etc in before the littles get up). We exercise, peruse emails and have our quiet times before we ever hear anyone stirring. After breakfast and Bible time with Dad, school starts around 8:00 (please KNOW that we aim for 8:00 but lately, we haven't been hitting that mark either).

At 8:00 my oldest daughter reads to the 2 youngest children which has been a HUGE blessing to me. It gives me time to work with Jett on reading and phonics as well as explain his tasks for the day. We are still working on getting his independent work done INDEPENDENTLY.... In addition, my second daughter takes the littles for about 20 minutes to work on counting and math. I teach the littles their letters (one a week) and follow up with games and books especially ones that deal with colors, shapes, numbers or letters. We thought that our goal for this year was to teach them all of their ABC's, sounds of the alphabet, how to write letters, counting to 20, cutting with scissors, coloring, shapes, and basic colors. That will be a GREAT year for 2 people who spoke a different language one year ago.

For me, sitting down with my children to actively engage them in games is NOT easy. It does not come naturally to me. But, God has shown me so much through investing my time and energy into playing. They LOVE it, and now, I'm starting to look forward to it as well.

So, here's the schedule:

8:00

Zeke could hear affirmation all day long...it makes him smile (and me too).

Elly LOVES to get stickers when she does a great job. However, asking for stickers is not allowed.

Jett loves science and the more "hands-on" something is, the better.

Inevitably, someone has binoculars at some point during the day looking at deer in the backyard.

Where did the time go?

2011-12-06T07:38:00.001-06:00

Kaitlyn, our resident photographer, takes a rare photo of herself. Hard to believe she's about to be 15!

Sweet Madison does a great job reading to her siblings. They adore her.

Sweet Elly loves to pick out her own clothes and show them off to everyone.

Zeke is still fighting for survival, but we are seeing regular glimpses of trust these days!

There are many decisions that we make daily that impact our family. For me one of those decisions is to blog or not. While I enjoy blogging, it is just not a priority with all of these people running around here. Even now I am surrounded by one child trying to convince me that she needs medicine ('cuz I'm still sick), one who is singing Jingle Bells while dancing, one who is peeling eggs for breakfast, another who is working through a math test, and the last one who is puny on the couch with a cold. They are my priority.

That is our/my life these days....making decisions that are best for all of us. We made so many mistakes when we brought Jett home even though we stayed home a lot. We still traveled too soon, had people over too soon, exposed him to too many new things right away, etc. We learned our lesson the hard way. And we have chosen, by God's grace and mercy, to walk the journey differently this time.

We have pretty much been homebodies with the exception of weekly excursions to church. While we have traveled for trips, we have severely limited that travel because of our children. We will fight for them to adjust and adjust well. We will sacrifice and give up and do whatever we need to do to make this a safe environment for them. We want them to trust us and to know that we have their best interests in mind.

Isn't that the same thing that God does for us? He advocates for our best..what is best for you and for me. Sometimes we don't like it or enjoy it or even understand it. But, we rest in knowing that He is Sovereign and He knows what is BEST...ALL the time! So I trust Him in this stage of life with the lonely, the isolation, the worry, the fears, the joys, the leaps of faith...all of it. And if I don't blog on a regular basis, no worries. My priorities are elsewhere.

2011-11-08T06:16:00.000-06:00

Just a week ago I was asked to be part of a panel of homeschool moms to discuss time management. When thinking about how I use my time, one of the points I got the most questions about was "once a month cooking" (hereby known as OAMC because I just don't want to type it out over and over). JT and I started OAMC over 15 years ago when we were both working and just didn't have time to cook dinner every night. It was a constant discussion, "Where do you want to eat?" or "Should I just pick up something and bring it home?" We were tired of eating out and didn't need to spend the money anyway. Oh, if I could go back and have that money we so carelessly wasted!

I heard about OAMC on a morning talk show and immediately found the book they were referencing in a local Christian bookstore. We tried it and it worked for our family. This is KEY. It may not work for your family and/or you might have to tailor it to your family’s preferences and needs. Do what works best for your family’s schedule, dietary needs and what helps you the most!
We still manage to do OAMC about twice a year. Unlike the name suggests, it generally makes enough meals for 2 months for us. Sometimes, I can even go 3-4 months depending on how often I use the meals. We do NOT use them every night. We use them when we need them the most. When we have more time to cook, we do. When we don’t have much time, we pull out a OAMC meal.
Several people asked for my fabulous wisdom ingenious plan tips on how we do this, so here goes:
1. Cook with several other people or alone – this is the choice you must make first. If you choose to work with others, make sure you actually like one another and want to be around one another for extended periods of time first. This is truly critical as you will want this to be pleasant. We tend to cook with 2-3 other families that have somewhat similar family sizes.
2. Make a menu. Choose 8-12 items that freeze well. There are a ton of OAMC websites dedicated to recipes that you can use. Use recipes that you already have (spaghetti sauce, a chicken casserole, chili) and add some new ones that your family might enjoy.
3. Decide on freezer containers that you want to use. We personally prefer disposable aluminum pans that have a top that can be written on. We use two sizes of pans and label them on the top and side with contents.
4. Empty out your freezer. This is important as you’ll want to start with as much space as possible. On our cooking day last time, we actually rented another refrigerator/freezer because we had so much food (it was CHEAP)!!!
5. Be sure to designate an administrator for your group who will collect all the recipes and develop a shopping list. That person will send out a shopping list to each participant. Each person/family shops for their list only.
6. The day before “cooking day” is generally the day when each family pre-cooks whatever meat is necessary (e.g. cooking 20 lbs of ground beef for spaghetti or grilling 100 chicken breasts for sweet and sour chicken and chicken tetrazzini).
7. One person will need to print out labels for all of the dishes. This is simply a label with the title of the dish as well as the instructions on how to cook it. This step is an easy copy and paste job! Be sure to make 2 labels for each finished dish.
8. Recipes should be laminated so that they will not be easily torn or splattered during the process.
9. Each family brings the necessary baking dishes, utensils, etc for cooking day. I’ve heard of some families renting a local church for cooking day. We use my house as my kitchen is open and has plenty of room.
10. The kids are generally gone for the day. I’ve cooked with all of my children here, and I’ve cooked without them. Trust me….let Dad handle the little ones for the day, and you will finish faster! For us our older girls (12 and 14) stay and help with all of the cooking.
11. Since we host the cooking day, we prep our kitchen the day before. EVERYTHING is taken off the counters (phone, cookbooks, utensils, and even the coffee pot). We start with a blank surface.
12. We cover our table, buffet and small side table with large white table cloths). Then, we set out 4 garbage cans (these can just be large boxes lined with a garbage bag).
13. Stations are set up around our kitchen. The first is the sink area. We make sure that there are plenty of dishwashing supplies as there will be a ton of dishwashing to do (people rotate so this doesn’t get so overwhelming). Make sure there is plenty of dishwashing soap, a sponge, a scraper of some sort, a place to put wet dishes and towels for drying (lots of towels).
14. Our French doors that lead to our back deck serve as our menu station. We hang up all of the menus on the doors so that people can easily access them when they are ready. We place them all on one door in the beginning. As each dish is finished, it gets moved to the other door.
15. An ingredient station is made out of two benches we have sitting underneath a high counter. We place all of the dry goods here so that they are readily accessible.
16. Utensils and necessary kitchen items (measuring cups, baking sheets, cutting boards, mixing bowls) are placed on a buffet at the head of our dining area. This keeps everything organized so that we can find what we need when we need it!
17. Pots and pans are placed near the stove for another station!
18. Containers are located in chairs at the end of the table and include the 2 different sized aluminum dishes as well as larger freezer Ziploc bags.
19. The final station is the “office” area. We keep paper towels, Clorox wipes, labels, markers, pens, saran wrap, aluminum foil, tape and garbage bags here.
20. All cold items are either in the refrigerator or in coolers that families bring with them.
21. All families gather around 8 or 9 on cooking day (eat a good breakfast as you’ll be on your feet all day). We use a pre-printed “order of meals” format that is hanging around the kitchen in several places (to keep us on task).
22. We divide into teams of 2-3 and begin working on each meal. Some of the meals are assembly only (tater tot casserole, chicken teriyaki, flank steak in marinade) so they are fairly easy. Others require some cooking (sweet and sour chicken, meatballs) so those are the first priority.
23. As meals are completed, they are labeled and taken to the freezer/refrigerator. We note how many of each meal we have so that they can be easily divided at the end of the day.

There is a lot of work that goes into OAMC when you are first starting it. However, as time goes on, you can use menus you already have laminated, leftover labels, etc. and the process gets easier.

For our family, we are able to incorporate 4-5 of these meals into each week. We simply pull the meal out of the freezer in the morning and don’t have to think about dinner until 5:00. It’s a time-saver for us! An added bonus is that there are times when I need to take a meal to someone very last minute, and I can easily look into the freezer and grab several items! What a joy to be able to share with others in times of need.

So, give it a try and see if helps you…if not, toss it…if it does, try it again.

The daily privilege....

2011-10-26T14:36:00.001-05:00

Each day we are given is a gift from the Lord to be used for Him alone. It is NOT mine though I often act like it is. I schedule our days and run to and fro and leave Him completely out. How about you?

After adopting Zeke and Elly, we had about 6 months of just being "out of it." For lack of details (as they seem to escape me), we were just tired...a lot...like "fall asleep in the middle of a sentence" tired. We were weary. But, God sustained, and we are slowly seeing the light. We still avoid large crowded events with no structure and have to say No to many things. But, we are slowly getting back to our new normal.

I was reminded of how different our family life has become when our sweet Christy came to visit. Whereas we used to be able to actually carry on AND complete a conversation, now the dinner table is a time for each person to tell about their day, ask questions and well, be funny. There's little time for complete conversations these days. And, I am content with that.

God has shown me over the last 3 months how to be content in ALL circumstances. It is EASY to look at the lives of other people may age and covet....covet their time to themselves (just to go to the bathroom), covet their sleep, covet their adult conversations, covet their ability to read a book from beginning to end, etc. But, God has called me to something different....to be the mommy to these five children. So, I'm resting in God's divine calling on my life.

I will never have a ton of blog followers or even readers (so I have no notions of actually updating this blog regularly...), write a best selling book, or be the recipient of praise and adoration. But, I KNOW THIS....I'm obeying the God of our Fathers...and I'm learning to be content in that. He chose me before time began to be the wife of JT and the Mommy of Kaitlyn, Madison, Jett, Zeke and Elly (and who knows who else). And, I trust HIM. And, I believe in HIM. He knows what He is doing, and He is in control. I am content in Him.

Just this next week I have been asked to be part of a panel of other homeschool moms to talk about time management. There's so much I could say...but I hope there's only one thing I should say....let God direct your time. Plan ahead, make your schedule, delegate tasks, teach your children responsibility, and find ways to multi-task...but pray FIRST and then PRAY again and PRAY after you have done all that you can...make sure it is GOD who directs your steps and not you. He is the King of the Ages...He can schedule your day in a way that honors Him better than you can. Trust Him to do that! I am content in His schedule for my day...whatever that may be.

Today, seek to lean on the everlasting arms of Jesus. Lean hard.

But if He does not....

2011-09-30T11:09:00.000-05:00

The past few months have been a whirlwind of activity around the Turner house. New kids learning more and more English....hearing the words, "probably" and "actually" come out of their mouths is music to my ears. A five year old who hasn't pitched a fit in several weeks AND walked away from the table after only one serving for the first time...can I get a HALLELUJAH!!!! This is huge considering he eats like a grown man training for the World's Strongest Man competition. My precious mother-in-law's passing into eternity....which leads to 7 people grieving 7 different ways...... School with 5 kids ranging from pre-calculus and world geography to Colors, Numbers and Rhyming Words. Ah, it's our life, and I cherish it! It's crazy...but it's ours...well, not really....

That's just it...it's NOT our lives...it's His...and for His glory alone! Which brings me to the reason I am writing... this world is truly not our home. So, let's keep our minds set on eternity and His glory. Let's pray without ceasing..interceding for others constantly. God has prompted me so many times lately to pray for people that I barely know and others that I know well. But, how do we pray?

I find myself praying a lot....which means I don't hear much of what's going on around me at times. Truly, I'm not ignoring my children or you when you are talking, but if I don't stop and pray immediately, I'll forget! My mind...it is not working properly in the memory area...so I have to obey immediately.

We pray for His glory to be known among the nations. We pray for God to heal...whether on this earth or in eternity. We pray for His glory to be shown in and through situations. We pray for Him to speed up adoption processes or to slow them down for His name's sake. We pray for His will to be done...whether it fits our plan or not. We pray that God will act in such a way that He and He alone gets all the glory. We pray not to manipulate or plan or control...we pray that He controls because He is Sovereign. We pray that He will give us the strength to glorify and praise in the midst of pain and anguish.

My favorite chapter in the Bible is Daniel 3. You know the story. Three guys....three disobedient men...refusing to bow...to an earthly king. The king commands them to bow..and they refuse again. Then, they speak with words only God could orchestrate. "King Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us from Your Majesty’s hand." I LOVE the confidence they have in God alone. They boast in His great power and majesty. They proclaim His goodness and strength!

But, here's the BEST part! They KNOW what God can do, but they do NOT know what He WILL do. So they say, "But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.” YES!!!! YES!!!! YES!!! IF HE DOES NOT, we will praise Him! We will praise in the waiting, in the pain, in the grief, in the longing, in the valley, in the storm. We will praise our God despite the situations and circumstances around us. We will praise our God!

Today, let us praise God for provision, for family, for friends, for all the "good" things...but let us purposefully choose to praise Him for the things that we don't like, don't understand and don't want....because we KNOW that it is for His great glory....

God's Sovereign Plan

2011-09-21T04:45:00.000-05:00

Revelation 21:4 reminds us that "he will wipe away every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." We rejoice in knowing that my sweet mother-in-law, Gena Turner, left her earthly body last week to be with the Lord. Just yesterday, Zeke said, "Where is Meemaw's body?" Before I could answer AGAIN (this had to be the 20th time he asked), he said, "Never mind. She no need her body. She has a new body and a new name!" Hallelujah!

We rest in knowing that God's Sovereign plan included her life of 71 years and her death last Wednesday morning. Job 12:10 tells us that "In His hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind." He is Sovereign in life, and He is Sovereign in death. God Almighty is in charge of them both.

Every person who knew Mom/Gena/Meemaw knew that she had the spiritual gift of bragging...on her grandchildren. She loved them dearly and was always telling someone about one of them. Some people even said, "Oh, she will miss them so much" or "I'm sure she wishes she could hug them one more time." NO, she doesn't! She doesn't miss ANY of us. She is in heaven doing what she was created to do, and she does NOT miss life here! She has stepped into eternity, and she has no desire to do anything other than what she is doing! Praise His Holy name!

We give all honor and praise and glory to God for her life and what she has meant to all of us. It is too early to adequately put it all into words, but she will be missed dearly. Thank you to all of our friends and family who have supported and loved us along the way. We love you!

Count the Kids....

2011-09-18T10:04:00.000-05:00

When you go from 3 kids (who can all take a shower by themselves and feed themselves and don't require me to wipe them) to 5 kids....well, it's a stretch. Most days. There are times when I can't remember if I ate or where I am or what I am supposed to be doing. I rarely have a moment to myself...and that's okay.

Here's the kicker...I'm petrified that I'm going to leave somebody somewhere...and then not remember who I left or where I left them. So, I often here myself say, "Count the kids." Or "number off..." But, my life is full...abundantly. And, I wouldn't trade it for anything else.....

Turner...Party of Seven

2011-09-16T09:47:00.000-05:00

(who h

It took eight months to get to this point, but Zeke and Elly are officially Turners. We went to a courtroom with our formidable attorney a few weeks ago...and it was a done deal.

The judge, who had been adopted himself, asked us a few questions, and then declared it legal. Ezekiel Duke Turner and Ellyson Faith Turner are ours....no going back now. Praise God for His faithfulness in orchestrating our family.

For the record, the picture of all of the people above if our family with our friends, the Fannings. They went with us to Uganda and we walked the adoption road together. We started and ended together. God's grace is all of this people...ALL over it. Praise His name!

Coming Home.....

2011-09-14T09:40:00.000-05:00

Coming home from the mission field is always a bittersweet time...a time of leaving friends and extended family in another country...yet missing my family at home. Another goodbye to the place that steals my heart and a hello to my sweet babies! It is a hard but rewarding time given by God to refresh my soul and remind me that He is in charge.

When I recently came home from Guatemala, God gave me a sweet reunion at the airport. These are a few pictures of the kids welcoming me home. They still seem just as shocked that I (or JT) return from another country. I would like to say that this is unusual, but the fact is that they do this EVERY morning when they see us in the kitchen...total surprise that we are still here. God's grace....

Soccer Time

2011-09-12T17:00:00.001-05:00

Jett has been a Turner for almost 4 years now....and well, he has added a lot of energy and spice to our family. With 2 girls for a long time, we knew a life of sitting still to do homework, reading books in an upright position, and hanging clothes up neatly in the closet. Not so with boys....it's more like a 3 ring circus all the time.

I can't keep up with Jett. He is literally ALWAYS moving. It is nothing to send him upstairs to do something and he comes back within 3 seconds having already done it. He is fast...and faster. He never sits still unless he's asleep. We have spelling time on the mini-trampoline and reading is consistently done upside down on the couch or spinning in the floor. He is a ball of energy.

So, we decided to use that energy in a way that would benefit Jett the most...soccer. We were blessed to get on a team at Briarwood with several of our friends from church. Jett is VERY excited about that...the girls on the team - not so much. But, he is loving being a part of a team. And, we are excited to see how God uses Jett's soccer abilities for His glory!

Why not Poppa?

2011-09-10T12:00:00.000-05:00

It was a typical Monday although we had friends from Atlanta visiting. So, One Way Academy was still going to proceed as usual despite the storms from the night before (many of our friends were without power and had no school). It was still raining which caused a deep desire to sleep the morning away. However, with 7 kids in the house, that was not to be.

So, we started school, and the "littles" (Zeke, Elly and their friend Nondu) were eager to finish and play. For about an hour they played inside....then, I could hear them from the schoolroom begging their Poppas to let them play outside. This went on for a while...just pure begging.... Then, their Poppas had a revelation....why not? They had played outside when they were all in Africa...surely, they played in the rain. So, as Poppas do, they let them go outside and play in the rain.

The kids had a great time, and all we had to do was wash a few clothes. Seriously, that's it. Why do I seek to avoid the additional work instead of allowing them the freedom to dance in the rain? Oh, for the love of children!

We did get a little insight from Zeke after playing in the rain. He told us about a time that he got locked in his house all day in Uganda. It made me very sad for him, but it was a new story that we had not heard. We reassured him of our love for him and that we are here to love him forever. We are grateful that he felt safe enough to share a little.....

Grafted In...

2011-09-01T20:34:00.005-05:00

A month or so ago, I was contacted by someone at We Are Grafted In about a blog post I had written. She read one of my posts and wanted to republish it.

Let me preface all this to say.... I do not have a creative bone in my body (the thought of getting out scissors, tape, glue and especially glitter make my head spin), and I have NOTHING to offer...NOTHING! The Bible reminds us that EVERY good gift comes from the Father and that all of our boasting should be in the cross of Christ alone. So, if anything He has given me to write is a help or encouragement to someone else, may ALL the praise go to Him alone.

If you'd like to read it again, here is the link:

Still Kickin'

2011-08-20T15:38:00.000-05:00

are

I have NO clue how long it's been since I've written a blog entry, but we ARE still alive. It's just still a huge adjustment around here with 5 kids. There's such a gap in ages that we are constantly on the go. As many of you know, it's totally different to parent a 14 year old and a 3 year old. And, don't forget the 12, 7 and 5 year olds either!

Each of our children was created by God in a totally unique way. We are learning that it is SO easy to pass over someone's needs just because we are busy tending to another child. Some children are very easy to deal with on a daily basis and others are not. So, we have to guard our time to make sure that every child is being parented as the Bible directs. Oh, it's TIRING!!!

I reminded a friend the other day that our memory will return in about 2 years. That's the one thing no one told me when I gave birth to Kaitlyn. You WILL lose your memory. I figured it out on my own when I found the milk sitting on the table (overnight) and my keys in the refrigerator.... Well, the same thing happens with adoption. For each child you bring into your family, your memory leaves for a while. I started calling my boys by my brothers' names the other day....uuuggh!

But, life is full. It is full of laughter (a lot of that) and bike rides and hugs and kisses and bandaids and piano and soccer and baking and squeals. I wouldn't change a thing...not one. I'm so grateful to God for giving me this privilege, and I want to take it seriously every day. It is NOT easy...but it is rewarding!

I hope that I'll have time to update the blog more often, but we'll see! God's plans are definitely higher than my ways, and well, there are days/weeks that it won't happen. But, maybe every once in a while....

Do I Really Care?

2011-07-22T08:04:00.001-05:00

Do I really care if I must decrease in the sight of man for the sake of the glory of God? Yes, I care. But, I desire His glory more than mine. If no one remembers my name or anything I have done...praise God. May He and He alone be lifted high.

As I was reading in Phillipians this morning, I was reminded of Paul's plight among his peers. He did NOT care if his reputation was being tarnished or if people were gloating that he was in jail. In fact, he boasted that people were preaching out of selfish motives. But, what was the gain...Christ was being proclaimed! Oh, there are many times when I have been critical of someone because of their motives...but oh, that Christ were magnified...that should be by aim! Praise God anytime the name of Christ is exalted.

There are days when we are still drowning in the whole adopted child syndrome. I read a post from a friend in Africa yesterday that described her day. She was referring to the child as one with 2 personalities...one that is still an orphan and one that is an adopted child fighting the orphan. I could totally relate and understand. I think that is what we deal with on a daily basis....former orphans who crave and desire this life that they are in but still fight the orphan flesh.

Aren't we the same way? I crave intimacy with God and hear Him calling to me as soon as my eyes open in the morning. He calls me to come and spend time in His presence. The flesh wants to take a shower, go for a walk, clean the house, prepare breakfast....but He calls. The battle ensues...the heavenly vs. the worldly. It's a constant fight to focus on eternity.

Even just now I put down the computer for a while to hold a waking little girl. It is far more important that I snuggle, reassure, love and cuddle with her than telling anyone else about the lessons God is teaching me. She is the lesson. I am the student. He is the Teacher.

I must admit that it is really easier to focus on God today as I know my hubby comes home in 33 hours (yes, I am counting). God's design for the home is for both of us to be parents. It is refreshing to know that it will happen soon! But, my delight is in the Lord and the power of His name.

Praising God for His lessons and His calling....let the battle begin today.

I can't title this one...

2011-07-19T07:37:00.001-05:00

Seriously, I can't title this post. My initial thoughts were something along these lines:

I don't know you, but I don't like you
How could you have done it?
If JT gets a hold of you, he'd go to prison
I don't know your name but you are about to know mine

So, none of those sound very appealing or Christ-honoring so I think I'll leave it untitled.

Since the very day we saw Ellyson Faith for the first time, my heart has been walking around in a 3 year old body. She was, at first, very quiet and timid. She was fearful of all men and didn't want anything to do with JT. But, over the course of time, God has renewed her trust and security. She loves her Poppa and knows that he will take care of her. He will fight for her and protect her.

We have seen DRASTIC changes in our sweet Elly over the past six months. She went from very quiet to very talkative. We've even asked her to be quiet for just five minutes..... She is vocal. She is now a story-teller. Every story starts and ends with "You mem-ber?" (you remember?). Elly is a vivacious and energetic child with a vivid imagination. She loves life. She smiles constantly and entertains at the drop of a hat. She breaks out in song everywhere we go (she especially has a fondness for singing Jesus Loves Me really loud in the grocery store). When Elly is awake, she is a CHANGED child. But, when she sleeps...that is a different story.

Past memories of pain and hurt are still emerging during sleeptime at night (we don't see this during nap time) for Elly. At first, she was sleeping in the girls' room on a trundle between their beds. However, she was waking them up 5-6 times a night with screaming and groaning. So, she sleeps in our room on a cot with all of her pink blankets and absolutely no pillow.

When she sleeps, she wakes up at least 3-4 times a night with nightmares. Sometimes, she screams out names and hollers, "No!" Sometimes, she just cries and groans. Without going into any detail, it's pretty obvious where the pain is coming from...memories of things done to her. It makes my heart ache and cry. It makes me angry and confused. I want to take the pain away (and to take the pain-maker OUT of this life). But, my God is bigger than my feelings and my desires. He is bigger than Elly's pain and memories. He is bigger than the nightmares.

I'm reminded of Daniel 3 in God's Word. As Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego stood before King Nebuchadnezzar, they proclaimed that they would NOT bow down to idols. We will not be consumed with fear or anger by these nightmares. They will NOT control our lives.

The same men told of the greatness of God: "We do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us." I believe with all of my being that our God can deliver Elly from these nightmares, and He can heal her!

Verse 18 is my personal favorite..."BUT EVEN IF HE DOES NOT, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we WILL not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up." EVEN IF GOD DOES NOT DELIVER Elly from these nightmares, we will worship Him and Him alone. He is worthy of all praise. If He chooses to use these nightmares for His glory, then let it be. However He chooses to use this pain to bring glory to Himself in Elly's life and our lives, we submit to His plan. He is abundantly worthy to receive all of the glory and honor and praise forever. Amen.

Oh, for grace....

2011-07-08T22:25:00.000-05:00

I love that old hymn that says, "Oh, for grace to trust Him more." The chorus says, "Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him. How I've proved Him o'er and o'er. I'm so glad I learned to trust Him. Oh, for grace to trust Him more." And, I am living that desire right now.

JT left today for Guatemala for another 2 weeks (he had been home for 6 days after a 2 week stint in New Mexico). He left very early so he kissed us all goodbye while it was still dark. I woke up but sadly, the kids did not. That makes this even harder for Z and E.

So, today was the day when Z decided he would push me to my limits. We spent 3 hours this morning in a boxing match of sorts. He wanted to do anything and everything to push me away. The mentality seems to be that he wants to see how much it will take to make me stop loving him. I don't give up that easily. He pushed, and I hugged. He hit, and I administered discipline in a loving way. He screamed and I prayed. He screamed louder, and I ran the vacuum cleaner (and prayed too). He threw himself on the floor and I sat him right back up. Over and over again, this boxing match continued.

All I could see over the course of those hours was a spiritual battle for his soul. I would not give up. I knew God was greater. My other kiddos can tell you that I was talking and praying aloud to the Father. "God, you know how much I can take, and I feel like I'm on the cliff and he is kicking me over...." I know that I cannot do this without the grace of our Father. He sustains. And, He won that battle.

Then, the war began to rage this evening. It lasted for at least 18 hours...it felt like 3 days...I think it was 2 hours total. Z started a new technique...laughing at everyone else, taunting me with discipline, and repeating every word that is said (but in a blah-blah-blah way). Nothing was working. Nothing. I was beat down to the core and showing the scars of the battle.

I sat him in my lap and had him face me. As clear as I could see, I recall a picture of my friend Keri holding her little girl Eden when she picked her up in China. What I remember from that picture is that Eden was screaming bloody murder, and Keri was crying for Eden. It broke my heart yet gave me a glimpse into the very heart of our Heavenly Father.

I told Z that my heart was sad for him today. I know that he missed Poppa and that he didn't like it when Poppa was gone. I told him that I know he doesn't have the words to explain or share his sadness. I told him that I loved him. And, then my eyes filled up with tears as I just said that I was so sad for him today. I saw a look in his eyes that I haven't seen before. Tears rolled down my face, and he began to wail. We just cried together. We must have looked like a snotty mess (thank you God that all of the other children were merrily making up beds and cleaning upstairs)..... I held him and we continued to cry.

Then, we prayed that God would heal his heart and be His Heavenly Father. I begged God to show grace and patience to me so that I could give it to Zeke. Oh, Father, I beg you for grace to trust You more!

It's not always easy...sometimes it is painful....sometimes it is ugly...sometimes it hurts like I cannot explain. But, our Father is good, and He has a plan. I don't understand it, but I know and trust that He is holy and He is just and He is Sovereign. Oh, for grace to trust Him more.

The Darkest Hour

2011-06-14T07:01:00.003-05:00

We have all experienced tragedy, pain, sorry, and hurt in our lives. Those times weave a thread into our lives that God uses to teach us more about Himself and to draw us to Him. Sometimes, we use that same thread to become bitter and angry. I have recently looked back at several of those times and tried to truly process what God was doing.

Some of the most painful times in my life have to do with loss.....the loss of freedom for my dad when he was sent to prison in 2002, the loss of JT's dad in 2005, the loss of our home to a fire in January of 2005, etc,. There are other losses but these are the ones that come to mind first. Then, there was our adoption of Jett in 2007 (December). A loss? An adoption is a loss? Yes, for us and for Jett, it was. It was the darkest hour in our lives, and no one else knew.

As I said in an earlier post, we are just now even talking about that time in our lives. It has taken us several years to heal from the pain and everything that happened, so I hope to capture what it was like..... I hope that one day Jett can read this and know that we fought for his heart and soul with tenacity. I hope he remembers the long days and knows that we loved him whole-heartedly through it all. I hope our family can recall the spiritual battle lines that were drawn and the war we waged within our home. I hope, more than anything, that God alone is exalted and praised for His faithfulness and His goodness through the trials.

When we saw Jett for the very first time face to face, it was an overwhelming sense of fulfillment for me. The child that we had pursued for almost 2 years sat on the tile floor of an orphanage in Solola, Guatemala. He had NO clue who we were yet he smiled sheepishly anyway. My heart burst open and tears flowed without any stoppage in sight..... As I looked into his little brown eyes, God spoke clearly to me: "I pursued you like you have pursued this child." My heart was full, and I knew that God's purpose in our lives to adopt had been fulfilled. We had finished the race..... We had 2 weeks together in Guatemala, and we were good. There were some red flags along the way but nothing that we didn't think we could handle. We were wrong. Dead wrong.

Less than a week after we got home, JT had to fly to Arizona to finish leading a trip. I was furious.... This could've been prevented, so someone chose their own desires over the good of our family. I wasn't mad at JT, but once he was gone, I was. How could he leave me with a new child who doesn't even speak English yet? I was angry with God. Don't they know that I'm no good at this....I have NO patience....I cannot do this! Jett would rage and grieve every day....multiple times a day. If he did anything he wasn't suppose to do (stick his fingers in an outlet, hit the girls, run out the front door), and I told him, "No,"...well, he would lose it. Seriously lose it. Ugly cry, kick your legs, stomp your feet, grit your teeth ugly cry...scream...cry more....rub your eyes until they are about to pop out, tighten fists, straighten your body and refuse to budge cry.... The girls would generally just go to their rooms or somewhere else in the house. I was left alone to fight this battle. If he did it once a day, he would do it 10 times...or 20....felt like 50.

If the phone rang, I cringed. Do I dare answer it knowing that he could blow at any moment? If I walk out of the room, what will happen? The girls were withdrawing as they saw their "cute little brother" taking over the house. He was clearly running the show, and it seemed that everything revolved around him. He couldn't be let out of our sight for fear of what he might do. I was weary and so over the adoption part of our lives.

The worst part to me....going to church. Yes, going to church. We would go to church and people would see Jett and talk about how cute he is and what a joy adoption is and how great it was that our family had adopted. And, I wanted to scream, "If you only knew the chaos of our house! This is hard...don't adopt! Don't even think about it!"

JT came home from that first trip but had to travel again six weeks later to Africa. It was the WORST time ever....I must have called him 4-5 times a day. Jett didn't want anything to do with the girls...or me. He couldn't stand us. He didn't love me much less like me. It was so hurtful and hard. I would just hold him and cry. God showed me great pain and suffering, and my heart ached for all of us. How was God going to heal this? Was He going to heal this? Was this going to be our lives from now on?

We made some serious mistakes during that time.....having friends over too much (Jett needed to settle in our family and be secure with just us first), traveling to AZ, Africa, Indiana, resuming normal life as if nothing else had happened.....meanwhile, we were dying. It was painful and tiring. But life, as we had known it, was still going on around us, and that was the hardest part. We were isolated, and it felt like no one understood our pain. We couldn't even put it into words. We felt like we were drowning and people were just watching. Pick yourselves up by the bootstraps.....move on...come on, you can go out to eat....it's no big deal....he'll grow out of it....can't you just leave him with a babysitter..... Oh, the many things that people said that were well-meaning but hurt to the core. I felt trapped....I couldn't breathe....and I had no one to turn to who understood.

But, God used that year (more like 18 months) to strip us down to the core and the basics. He bonded our family in a way that I cannot describe. He showed us His faithfulness. He healed ALL of our hearts. He became our only focus. He convicted us of many areas where He was not being exalted in our lives. He rebuilt trust and established friendships. He cleansed us and even gave us the desire to adopt again. He showed us His love...in abundance. He graciously poured out His mercies upon us.

It was our darkest hour, but it was His shining glory. He drew us to Himself and loved us when we couldn't even utter our gratefulness. Looking back at that time, I see so many lessons, but I think this post is long enough. Hear the cry of my heart....adoption is a beautiful, difficult and uneasy process. It glorifies God....even in the hurt and pain...it brings Him glory. Thank you Lord for the valley that you walked us through and the hills you made us climb. We are grateful.....for You and You alone. You reign, and we do not. You rule, and we do not. You are exalted, and we are not. Praise Your great name!

Encouragement Galore....

2011-06-13T07:46:00.002-05:00

After the last blog post, I have been OVERWHELMED with encouragement from family and friends. God has literally used so many people to minister to me. I am so grateful and blessed. Here are a few excerpts that were sent to me:

"I read your blog but didn't want to comment there. Just wanted to say "been there"...maybe not because of adoption but because of other reasons the Lord called us to "stay put" when our kids were young. And a lot of things He showed us to avoid...the large chaotic events...and called me out of teaching at church, too...He called our family HOME.

We didn't understand it at the time. People around us thought we were pulling out of life. But we walked by faith and the Lord did some things in our family that were good. Our calling home to that extreme was temporary (less than a year) but so very worth it.

Your message...it is for more than those who adopt. It is for the new homeschooling family...if this is your first year to homeschool- then stay home! New baby- stay home! Medical illness -stay home. You get the point."

and this one....

"First of all - I don't want you to ever, ever, ever worry about what [my husband} and I think. Ever. I am going to tell you what we are thinking. We are thinking that you are following God in great obedience to adopt and love and bring new life to two very precious little children. This is an all consuming task. We understand that this limits you greatly and we don't expect anything from you right now. We understand that you are pouring your heart and soul and mind into these two precious children and we don't want you to do anything else."

and then there's the friend who said to me in church yesterday,

"Since you are staying put, we'll just come to you."

The words of encouragement and support have literally flooded my soul with great joy. I'm so thankful for the people who truly "get it" and understand the call God has placed on our lives. Please know that I'm thankful beyond measure for each one of you.

The Second Time Around

2011-06-11T06:56:00.003-05:00

The first time we adopted, we learned many lessons. It was a VERY dark time for me and our family....that is a post for another day. I'm just now ready to talk about that year in our lives. Needless to say, what everyone saw was not what was going on in our home. It was a different picture altogether.

But, now that we've learned those lessons, things are a bit different the second time around. Here's what we have been impressed by God to do:

1. Stay home as much as possible! While JT will be leading mission teams this summer (we have dropped the number of trips to only 5 intend of 8 or 9), I will be managing the home front. The kids and I will not be on any trips this summer. While I may lead one this fall, one of us as parents will always be home with the kids.
2. Do not leave our children (the two youngest ones) overnight anywhere for at least 6 months. They need this time to bond with us as parents and with our family. They need to know that we will always be here for them. (On a side note, Zeke STILL comes downstairs everyday and gasps when he sees us. He runs to one of us with open arms and gives the biggest hug. It's like he's still surprised we are here after almost 5 months.)
3. Delay going to any medical facility until necessary. We have taken Zeke to the doctor (malaria and giardia) but have only taken some parasite testing for Elly. Our kids have been poked and prodded enough, and they are both fearful of the doctor. We're going to spend some time reading all of our doctor books and talking about how wonderful doctors, nurses, hospitals, etc. are first. Preparation is key!
4. We will avoid large, unstructured events to the extent possible (concerts, baseball games, etc) as these tend to overwhelm the children. They don't meet a stranger, and we need to curb that..... Plus, the chaos of these events tends to initiate something chaotic in them too.
5. We will hug and kiss and hold a LOT. Lately (after Kaitlyn's surgery), Zeke has been VERY clingy. He was scared to an extent that none of us predicted. He wanted me to hold him often. He would just lay his head over on me many times a day. This is welcomed. Just yesterday, Elly followed me to the bathroom. As a brushed my teeth, she put her arms around my leg and laid her head on my thigh. Nothing like brushing your teeth with company.
6. We will seek support from other adoptive parents who have already traveled this road. We did this the first time around too, but we realized that we had not fully communicated our needs to our support group. We were desperate and drowning, and we didn't know where to turn.
7. Most importantly, we will PRAY daily for God to heal their hearts and minds of past pain. We pray that He will use their lives in Uganda to deepen their knowledge of His glory. We pray that He will make Himself known to them and call them to Himself. We pray that He will receive all of the glory and honor and praise.

This is nothing new to most of you. But, to our family, who tends to travel most of the summer, this is huge. We are staying put. We even have a garden (which produced its first bumper crop last evening - 4 cucumbers, 1 jalapeño pepper, 2 peppers, and 1 tomato) that we all work in weekly. Our pool is a source of daily exercise and entertainment. We even have a clothesline for drying our clothes. Now, if that doesn't say "Stay home!"....well, I don't know what does.

This will definitely be a different summer for me. As I told my brother David yesterday, we all are concerned (on some level) about what others think. I am. Often, I am more interested in that than what Jesus thinks. I don't like it. I abhor it. I fight it. This summer, as we avoid large crowds and stick close to home, I will not be concerned with the thoughts or words of others. I will seek Him and remember His calling on our lives to do this. I will invest every moment in what He has called us to do. And, I will relish in our mission field here at home.

For those of you with young children, soak up your time together. You may not be able to be involved in every single event at church or go on a mission trip or even visit your neighbors. This time will fade away quickly. Cherish every moment, and raise your family to the glory of God!

What to do when Poppa's gone....

2011-06-01T12:29:00.003-05:00

That is the question...what do we do when Poppa's gone. For many people, husbands go off to work for 8 or more hours a day, so this is nothing new. But, for our family, this is TOTALLY different. You see, JT leads mission trips, so when he's gone, he's gone for a week or more at a time. But, when he's home, he's available to us all day. He works in the office downstairs or outside, but we can call him whenever we need him. We all eat meals together every day and just enjoy being together as a family. We have several friends who are in the same position, and it is truly a blessing from the Lord.

So, when Poppa's away, things are VERY different here. Of course, the older girls would like to sleep late because it's summer. But, apparently the new kiddos from Uganda didn't get that message...especially Zeke. When he wakes up, he is LOUD...ultra LOUD. He doesn't have a volume button yet...we're working on that...every few minutes, believe me. So, he proceeds to wake up everyone in the house by playing...LOUDLY. This doesn't exactly get us all off to a cheery, God-bless-you, all is right with the world kind of day. As a matter of fact, I have 3 grumpy girls and a whiny boy to contend with until at least 9:00.

Whiny-ness breeds more whining....just so you know. So, by 10:00 am I've already administered discipline to almost everyone, and well, each person needs some alone time. Keep in mind that the youngest two don't like alone time, so this is alone with Mommy time. We regroup and start the day again.

It may be just me (and I assume it is) but when JT leaves, every light bulb in the house goes out....or should I say every light bulb that requires changing it with a ladder goes out. Of course, it can't be the ones over the stove or even over the bathroom sink. And, then the pool pump starts making noise or the attic fans...and I'm not exactly handy in this area. That's what JT does....and he does it well. Maybe God is reminding me of how awesome my hubby is in that he takes care of those things on a daily basis....yep, that's it. And the enemy is trying to distract me from spending quality time with my kids discipling them and pouring into their lives. And, for sure the enemy doesn't want me to pray more for our mission team in Guatemala.

So, what do we do? We press on for the prize which has been set before us. Christ's call is greater and His aim is higher. So, we will not dwell in the grumpies or whinyland....we will honor one another for the glory of God. We will press in to His grace and His glory!

So, how is life?

2011-05-26T17:12:00.003-05:00

Just last night, I was commiserating, bemoaning, talking to my friend Dina about the dilemma we face when asked about adoption. She has 6 kids, 2 of which she and her husband recently adopted. She is a most excellent mom, and I’m proud just to know her. So, I have to say that I visibly let out a sigh of relief when we discussed this together. Do you tell me who are looking to adopt how great things are and what a joy it is and how God ordained it? Or do I say that it is hard, really hard some days and see if they stick around long enough to hear the rest? Hmmmm. We never came to a conclusion…mainly because Zeke had not made the timing to the bathroom a priority and thus had to be completely cleaned and changed before Wednesday night church.

So, there are days when things are tough…I feel like I don’t have anything together and nothing is happening as I would like…..yep, that’s pure selfishness. I can acknowledge it and identify it. I don’t like it. I abhor it. It is my sin nature, and I want it to die. Die a long hard death. But, it doesn’t and I wage war on it daily. Quiet time in the morning needs to be longer…like 4-5 hours…maybe more. But, God’s grace sustains me. Just this morning, I was studying Galatians 3 and it is where Paul is rebuking the Christians in Galatia for so quickly following a Gospel based on works in addition to faith. The passage is about justification by faith alone in Christ alone. What in the world does that have to do with MY day? Hmmm…well, let’s see…. When the kitchen is full of running bodies, loud screams and cries for “Holda me peas?” I call out to the Father for Him alone. When I’m trying to teach the new summer interns about administrative duties, and I see ALL of my kids gathered around trying to get my attention, I surrender to Him alone. And, when my 5 year old doesn’t want to take a nap so that I can teach the interns, I hold him and quietly pray that God will sustain me through faith alone. Ahh…so, the Word is good for my day. Okay, it isn’t my day anyway…it’s His. And, I’m allowed to walk in it as I seek to serve Him.

No, I won’t get an award for emailing my friends today or even talking on the phone or getting all the details for the upcoming mission trip handled. But, I will hold a former orphan and sing him to sleep. And, I will play Soduko with my 11 year old who needs some Mommy time. And, I will rejoice (AGAIN) with my 7 year old who just became a Christ-follower yesterday….but it is NOT I who does any of this…IT IS HIM ALONE LIVING IN ME! Praise His holy name!

If nothing else from this blog, I hope you realize that I am a sinner saved by grace. I am unworthy. I cannot live this life in a way that glorifies Him. But HE CAN!!! He is the reason I awaken each morning. He is the reason I live. And, it is for His glory and honor and praise that I continue. May the name of God be honored and revered and praised daily in what He calls me to do. And may I be obedient to the call. May we all.

2011-05-20T16:36:00.002-05:00

My first disclaimer to the photographs above is this...Kaitlyn is not in one single one of them. She happens to be the photographer of our family and coincidentally (or not so much), she doesn't take any photos of herself. She is our first-born, and I'd really like some more photos of her. I hope she reads this....

I have been bombarded by the question, "So how is it being the mother of five?" time and time again over the past month. I don't mind the question...I'm just not so sure how to answer that. To a mom who has more children, I often like I should just say, "I don't know how you do it. I admire you greatly. Are you insane?" To moms with fewer children, I certainly don't want to be a discouragement to her having more...so I say "It is good...really good." What I would like to say is this: "It is hard. I have NO clue what I'm doing. There are GREAT days when everyone is getting along so nicely. We have our Bible study, and everyone is honoring one another. Obedience is awesome. Naptime is directly from God. Adoption is beautiful. And then there are days that start way to early for humankind. Someone screams and cries. Another wet bed...strip that bed...wash the sheets..oh, and the comforter too. And, the mattress pad. How many loads today? 12? Seriously. We eat breakfast (again, still too early). Someone doesn't like grits and says 'No fank you" way too many times. I repeat the same mantra every 10 seconds. Eat with one hand. Napkin in your lap. Eat over your plate. Don't eat with your hands. Chew your food. Not with your mouth open. Kids argue and fight. The language issue can sometimes be a barrier. Other times it is pure humor. There are LONG days...I'm too old for this. Adoption is hard. It is not always pretty."

But, I'm reminded daily of God's overwhelming grace. He chose us to be the family of these children (all five of them). And, I like it...I love it. I am honored. I walk in His grace because of His blessed name.

Then, there are days like today when I'm the oldest mom at an event. My older girls went to a movie with their dad, and I'm taking the little guys to a jump-y place. They LOVE it. They relish every second of it. I find myself at least 5 years older than everyone else if not 10-15. It's not my nature....but I love hearing the young moms talk. I used to be one of those moms. Now, I'm just old...and worn out. But, I adore my family. They could've stayed all day. I had to take a nap just to see 5:00 today.

Life is full....overflowing. I am grateful and humbled by the magnitude of it all.

2011-05-13T11:42:00.004-05:00

Life is hectic….it is hard…it is joyous..it is overwhelming..it is funny. Oh, the dichotomy of living with 5 very different children! As I was having a personal pity party (you were not invited) over wet beds, washing 12 loads of clothes in one day, and dealing with whinyness, several women (who have traveled this road before me) encouraged me. Thank you Brenda McCollum (who I have only met in cyber world but raised a marvelous daughter who our family loves and adores), Cynthia Hoover (a constant source of encouragement and wisdom), and Anita Busby (your children rise and call you blessed and so do we) for helping me see past me. You all encouraged me to see beyond the temporary to the eternal.

I was also reminded by another friend of the importance of spending quality time with each child every day. Sure, I’m home ALL day with these kiddos teaching school, taking supervised trips to the bathroom for the newest ones, and wiping noses. But, do I REALLY invest in them daily. Some days…not so much. Spending time together in the same home is NOT enough. I must seek to daily disciple and teach my children the ways of God. I must invest in their Scripture memorization and knowledge. I must lead by example and show them how to live.

Oh, the pressure! I can’t do this…That is right! I CANNOT do this! But, He can! The Lord is sufficient in everything…He will accomplish His plan and it cannot be thwarted! Praise His Holy Name!

PS I just HAD to post the video of Zeke...he heard Ray Charles sing "Georgia on my Mind" one time, and this is his imitation...notice, he only knows one word. His southern accent makes me laugh.

When You've Lost All Things Worldly....

2011-05-03T11:03:00.011-05:00

The past week has been such a vivid reminder that our Lord God is Sovereign, and He IS in control. And, He will continue to be. The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away. Blessed by the name of the Lord!

Many of you know that the storms of this past week have been some of the deadliest in the history of the U.S. The state of Alabama was literally ripped to shreds in some areas specifically Tuscaloosa, Cullman, Pratt City, Pleasant Grove, Oak Grove, Concord, Ohatchee, Phil Campbell, Hackleburg, and Huntsville. Over 200 people were killed and stepped into eternity. Another 400 are still missing. Our hearts are heavy with the amount of death and destruction that surrounds us.

The church of our Living Savior has stepped up to meet the needs. People from everywhere are donating clothes, toys, books, toiletries, etc. to meet daily needs of people who have nothing. Others are giving of themselves selflessly to remove debris, search the rubble, and to help clean up. We are absolutely awed at God's provision for His people by the body of Christ!

Just six years ago, we lost all of our worldly possessions in a house fire. Everything we owned (except for some books and a computer in the basement) were gone. God gave JT the presence of mind to throw our scrapbooks out of the house and they are still here as vivid reminders of the fire. With burned edges on each page, we look for photographs to remember times past. The charred remains won't let us forget....and we remember those who find themselves in a similar situation today.

Let me first say that our fire is NOTHING in comparison to what these people here have lost. Many have lost family members...a child, a husband, a wife, a mother, a father and more. Our lives were spared. While we lost our home, we still had family and friends to help us get through the hardships of daily life. Many of these people don't have a neighbor to help because that neighbor lost everything too. Or, a dad needs someone to help him sort through insurance papers (if he can find them) but he has to bury his wife first. My heart breaks for our brothers and sisters who find themselves lost amidst this tragedy.

So many people want to help, and it is God's design for the body of Christ to rise up and take on the burden. With so many organizations leading the way, individuals and groups donating items and places to serve, what are you to do? Based on our own personal experience, here's what helped us the most:

1. Designate a contact person for your family that is NOT you. This should be a very close friend or family member who can literally think for you. This person would be responsible for relaying any needs and encouraging you to get certain things done!
2. Apply for any aid that is available. Many organizations, including FEMA, Red Cross,and local churches will have immediate assistance available. Seek these organizations first as THIS money will NOT be deducted from your insurance money. Remember you only have so much insurance money available to you, and you don't want to use any of that until you have had adequate time to pray and think through the details!
3. Do NOT make any commitments to using funds until you have had plenty of time to pray and seek the Lord's face.
4. Find your insurance policy (if possible). If not, call your insurance company and get a copy sent to you (or your contact person). Make sure you have an electronic copy of this as you will need it!
5. Seek any shelter/food options for your family for the first 30 days after the loss. Again, if you don't have to spend money, DON'T. There are many shelters and food options open right now that you can use to supplement your family's needs! That is what they are there for. Plus, you have the opportunity to be around other people who know what you are going through and can relate!
6. Secure counseling! This is one of the critical items that we sought very early especially for our children. We all needed to process and grieve the loss in a way that was healthy and honoring to God.
7. Tell people your basic needs - clothing for a week, toiletry items, Rubbermaid containers to keep donations in, school supplies for kids, etc. You will be surprised how little you really need at this point. Survival initiates a sense of minimalism.
8. Take an inventory of your home. Picture each room in your mind and note the following: name of item, year purchased (you can estimate), approximate cost at time of purchase (or estimated cost if a gift), and quantity (if more than one). Make the list in Excel or another spreadsheet format so that you can easily adjust as needed. Be thorough!!!! If you have trouble remembering items, ask friends/family for digital pictures taken in your home. Use these photos to help recall any items. Record EVERY item...shampoo, toothpicks, pictures, memorabilia, jewelry, etc. EVERYTHING!!! In addition, make sure you take photos of everything....your car, your hard, every room, every view of your house...lots and lots of photos!
9. When the insurance company assesses your home, be sure to keep a copy of anything said or promised. Keep thorough records. Keep all email correspondence. Know what your insurance policy says...read it several times! (Our insurance company did a great job of communication and walking us through our trials....but it is YOUR job to know what your policy covers so be familiar with it).
10. If you want to keep or salvage certain memorabilia, contact a company like ServPro (David and Christie Wilson here in Birmingham) to help you save certain items. They restored our wedding picture, and it is still a blessing! We also recommend ServiceMaster in the Calhoun County area (Scott and Alyson Mims - better known to us as Aly Dob).
11. Seek out others who have experienced a similar loss (in times past) who can help you walk the journey. Few people understand what it is like to lose everything...you will want that shoulder to cry on sometimes (okay, many times).
12. Pursue medical attention. In the wake of a serious loss, many people are numb to the physical effects on their bodies. After our fire I began to lose a lot of sleep and what sleep I got was full of teeth grinding. The world's best dentist, Dr. James Sanderson, made a guard for me so that I could sleep again and wake up headache free!
13. Be sure to call all of your utility companies and let them know about your situation. Although some/most may be aware, they cannot possibly know every single address that no longer is able to receive their services. So, call your cable, phone, water, electric and gas providers. Have them postpone your service or cut it off depending on the state of your home. Most of them will simply postpone your service and will not charge you an extra fee to turn it back on one day!
14. Get your children back in school as soon as possible. They need a sense of normalcy and a routine. For public school students, the state of Alabama provides great resources during times like this (including free meals, school supplies, etc).
15. Keep a blog or a journal of your journey. This will allow you to retrace what all has happened and remember what the Lord has brought you through!
16. Have a place to receive your mail if you can no longer live in your home. A temporary post office box or forward it to a friend's home for a while. Be sure to notify businesses of your change of address (post office first, of course).
17. Make sure you immediately obtain duplicate copies of your personal identification (driver's license, passport) as well as credit cards and checks. Let your financial institutions know what happened in case someone else tries to use your id (for some of you that had your personal belongings spread across the state).
18. Keep a secure spreadsheet of all of your purchases as well as all receipts. You will need these for insurance purposes!
19. Be aware and mindful that certain smells, sounds, and sights will bring back some intense emotions and evoke feelings that you may not even realize you have. For example, the tornado sirens blaring during the monthly testing service may send some people into panic mode. For us, it was the fajitas in Mexican restaurants with all of the smoke that sent us packing to the door....or a candle burning just a little too long at a friend's house.... This is perfectly normal!
20. I'm placing this as the last item but it is really first. Pray and seek the Lord's face. He has allowed you to live for a reason. I don't pretend to understand His ways, but I know this: He is good, and His ways are not our ways. He is Almighty!! Allow this time to press you even further into His Word and seek Him with all of your heart!

For those of you looking for a place to serve, look for well-known organizations like Samaritan's Purse who have extensive disaster relief programs. Serve with your local church...(for us, that's The Church at Brook Hills) come under their authority and guidance. It can be difficult for families to deal with the outpouring of donations, so be careful not to overwhelm them. Allow the church body to take the lead and serve with them.

Thank you all for allowing Christ to initiate a love and a desire to serve those who have experienced great loss. May God continue to show you where He is working so that you may be a part of what He is doing!

What you would hear if you were a fly on our wall...

2011-04-27T12:18:00.004-05:00

It's been a little difficult keeping up with our blog lately with little people crawling all over me, but I am trying. I want to document these moments to remember...I can barely remember what we ate for breakfast this morning, so I'm fairly certain I'll forget these days quickly. I also want to record our days for those who walk the adoption journey behind us. There are certainly LONG days...there are hard days...but there are joyous ones too. I want to remember....

If you were a fly on our wall these days, you might hear...

Zeke, you brush your hair. You brush your teeth. You FLUSH the toilet..not brush the toilet.

Elly, please use your inside voice.

We WILL eat. We WILL feed you.

I kiss-uh your face (from Zeke every few minutes).

Your clothes are on backwards (from Kaitlyn to Zeke and Elly almost every day).

I'll read you a book (from Madison to any of the littles).

We watch Cosby? (Zeke and Elly find The Cosby Show on Netflix to be entertaining)

Kakati okwebaka, era popcorn? (Zeke asking if they can have popcorn after they take a nap)

Bible study? (Is is time for Bible study? from Zeke nightly)

I Uncle David, Elly Miss Jenny, Jett Uncle Daniel (this is their idea of "Playing house" - Jett said they can't play Aunt Amanda because they don't have enough purses...okay, that's funny).

I be right back (Zeke will say this ANYTIME he is going out of a room)

Hold-uh me please (Elly asks this often...frequently..okay, every 2 minutes)

Don't chickle me! (Zeke to JT every morning...translation...please tickle me)

Don't do THAAAAAAYYYAAAT! (Zeke making fun of our Southern accent)

Microphone please (seriously...they LOVE the microphone). Often Zeke will pretend he is "Levi's daddy" (Jim W.) and sing for all of us.

Kunaaba please!!! (Nightly, they ask for a bath...with bubbles)

No Madison!!!! (Zeke and Elly are trying to say "no medicine" when they have to take allergy medicine but instead, they call on their sister).

No fank you! (Zeke and Elly when they don't want to do something...it is just too cute...it often makes me laugh..and JT has to take over the instructions).

Anudder one? (Another one? Whenever they want to do something again...swing, jump, etc, this is what they ask).

Oh, the joy these words bring to my ears. I often look across the table and stare at them. Just three months ago, they didn't know where their next meal would come from or if they would have one. Zeke wet himself nightly and slept in the soaked clothing. He had one outfit. He rarely took a bath if at all. They were waiting for what they did not know would come.....Lord, help me to remember.

Friendship is a gift...

2011-04-12T07:06:00.002-05:00

Watching my kids make friends is such a blessing. We are truly overwhelmed by the way people have sacrificed themselves to show love to our kids. Here are just a few pics of love in action.....

Papa Aliwa?

2011-04-06T04:54:00.005-05:00

"Papa aliwa?" can be heard multiple times a day around here....where's Papa? All of the kids, especially Zeke and Elly, miss their Daddy when he's gone. Confession time...I do too...a lot! I am so thankful for a husband who spends not just quality time but quantity time with our children.

For the past 6 weeks, JT has taken Zeke and Elly while I teach school to the older three. They generally play in the playroom (some type of singing is involved here and building towers and laughing...lots of laughing), run errands (they LOVE to ride in the car), or work/play outside. So, this week, with just Mom running everything, they have missed their Papa a lot! We have had to juggle the schedule in order to get school finished each day, but God has given the wisdom and patience necessary to complete it all.

Those who know me well know that I'm a homebody at heart. I love to be at home. That was NOT the case while I was growing up, so it is a joy to be here with my family managing the home. But, on Monday, as soon as school was over, we packed up and headed to the McWane Center (let me say, membership to McWane and the zoo have been well worth it for the past few years).

Jett LOVES going to the McWane Center mainly for the playground, the wind tunnel, and the Publix grocery store. However, on this trip he spent most of his time in the dinosaur dig area. He thoroughly enjoyed uncovering the bones using a paintbrush. Madison enjoyed being a meteorologist several times over and the fish exhibits (she's studying ocean creatures in science right now). Kaitlyn said her favorite activity was playing checkers on the 3rd floor with her sister (I think it's because she won). Zeke loved everything...especially the playground and the water area near the playground. He thought it was fun to just explore any and everything! For some reason Elly LOVED the fish area....she has NOT stopped talking about it. She pretends she is a fish and shows us how to touch the back of fish (two fingers only she reminds us)....

It was a great day for all of us. Madison said it was one of the best days ever. I agree...

God's grace and provision are all-sufficient. I don't have to rely on my own desires, needs, strengths or talents to make anything happen. I have all that I need in Him alone. I must totally depend on Him and not on me. So, I trek the kids downtown because He prompts me to do so...I know that I personally wouldn't choose or entertain the idea...I'd rather be here marking things off my growing To-Do list...but God reminds me that other things are more important. They are eternally significant. His teaching is good, and I learn from Him.

Speaking of which, I have been going through the book of Ephesians for a while now. God is teaching me SO much. One of the biggest concepts He has shown me lately comes from Ephesians 4:20 where Paul is talking about the Christian walk. He reminds the believers that they "did not learn Christ in this way." To "learn Christ" is ESSENTIAL to the daily faith journey. How you can live like Christ or love like Christ if you don't LEARN Him first. That's not the word "KNOW"...it implies more than that...to "LEARN" Him! Oh, how I must study Christ through the Word of God daily. I must soak it up and memorize it more. I am more convinced than ever that teaching Him to my children is more important than school, work, etc. They must know and learn the Word of God. I must do the same and set the example. I don't know Him enough. I must know and learn Him more. I feel like I'm at a water fountain every morning drinking of His Word and wanting more. Oh, how I long to learn Him more and more and more.....

Life as we know it....

2011-03-31T06:06:00.003-05:00

It's been a roller coaster for our family for the last few months. First, we didn't even KNOW about Elly until right before Christmas. Then, we didn't find out that we were going to get BOTH children until the end of the year. Only to find ourselves flying to Africa near the end of January. Not to speak of the 2nd day we were in country to find ourselves as a family of 7!

Basically, it's been like getting twins as Elly acts about 3/4 and so does Zeke. They are pretty much on the same level when it comes to mental, emotional and physical tasks. So, we have twins who are probably about a year apart. And, we are thankful. They have learned to go to the bathroom and wipe (most of the time), flush the toilet and wash their hands. They really enjoy the flushing of the toilet by the way.

They are feeling well physically (except allergies to the pollen) and eating well. Like most children they don't particularly like having veggies on their plates but they eat them anyway. And, they love to be outside (see pictures above). They love to dig in the dirt, play with chalk and just play on the playground. As soon as we are finished with breakfast each day, they ask "Play outside?"

JT and I were just discussing our family and our new life yesterday. We had some uninterrupted time (okay, the kids were singing and talking to each other but we could at least see each other in the front seats) in the car on the way to church last night....we take what we can get! We have really not even processed all that happened while we were in Uganda and since we've been home. My whirlwind trip to Guatemala put a halt to that.... Now, we are working on wrapping our minds around our new lives together...but wait, JT has to go to New Mexico this weekend. He'll be gone for a week. So, we postpone the processing for another week.

We are struggling with just the daily schedule of how to get everything done...school, cleaning the house (seriously, it hasn't been cleaned since we got home), planting a garden, ministry plans, etc. There doesn't seem to be enough of us to go around. By the time the kids go to bed, we are so exhausted that we just sit on the couch or bed and do nothing. But, we are working on that. Any wisdom/advice from moms of larger families???? We could use it!

We are blessed beyond measure to have great friends and family. We have people emailing us encouragement all the time and asking how we are doing. We are surviving and loving life. We are overjoyed at what God has done in our family...it is just us adults who have to learn to adjust to the increased people around here. It gets LOUD...really LOUD sometimes...and MESSY. But, we LOVE it, and we are thankful to God for every second of it.

Transformation

2011-03-25T15:23:00.003-05:00

In January of this year I sat down at my computer at 2:30 in the morning. We were leaving for Africa in a few weeks and I had no idea what my daughter would look like. It didn't matter but my heart ached to see her. I couldn't sleep so I checked emails...and there it was. The first picture above popped up on my screen, and my heart melted. And my heart cried...look at those eyes...sad and distant. She needed me, and I needed her. How amazing is God's plan to bring us together as a family.

We had known Zeke for almost six months at this point and knew a little about him. JT had held our boy in his arms and played with him. We were eagerly awaiting holding him again. But, we didn't know this little girl...would she even like us? The questions ran quickly through my mind. And, then it hit me...I don't even have any girl clothes or shoes or anything for a girl.... all of our big girls' clothes had burned in the fire of 2005....add that to my list of "to do's" before heading to Africa. But, all of that dulled in comparison to the longing I had in my heart.

I prayed for God to prepare her heart for a family. I prayed that God would do what only He, as the Father to the fatherless, can do. And, He has. He has been faithful to His promises. You can see the transformation. Elly is a bright and energetic child...the love shines in her eyes. But, it is not our love or her own love. It is a direct result of God's love and power in and through her life. And, we give Him all the glory!

*The last two photos were taken at a baby shower for my great friend Lora by the world's most amazing photographer, Allison Lewis. But, don't call her soon people...she has a baby boy in Ethiopia to pick up first...get on her schedule for the fall!

I Don't Have Time....or so she said

2011-03-23T05:59:00.002-05:00

"I don't have time" for Jesus was the woman's reason for not becoming a Christ-follower. I have to help my husband make shoes. I have 2 children. I have to provide for my family. I just don't have time.

The passion inside of me was about to boil over as I listened to this woman, living in a 2 room, delaphidated old house in Lantana, explain her situation in life. I am standing on a dirt floor and can see through the roof. Her two children are seated on the only two seats I can see in the house trying to finish their homework. The local pastor is pleading with the woman to give her life to Christ. I am appalled at her excuse...until..God Himself reminds me that we are rebellious. Our sin is NO different. Our lives are the same...filled with things to do and places to go. Overflowing with excuses for not spending time in His presence. I am humbled...He is using her life to remind me of my sin and the debt I owed.

One of the ladies from the local church, in a very pointed way, shares that we all have time for things that are important (these are the times when having our translator is handy for the simple delay in the relay of information). Then, the pastor asks several of us to share with the woman.

I have NO clue what was even said at that point except that God was glorified. Scripture was read and quoted and relied upon unashamedly. God's Word is POWERFUL, and His Gospel is true. God has spoken through His Word, and it is the best tool to point people to Christ!

The woman changed...her countenance immediately brightened...the load was lifted. Her new status was as a Christ-follower. My heart rejoiced. God took that moment in Guatemala to show me how powerful He is and how He draws people to Himself. We have NOTHING to do with salvation...He ALONE does all of the work. We just have to obey what He tells us to do...and He will be glorified.

What do you have time for today?

For the sake of the Gospel

2011-03-19T07:34:00.004-05:00

Reading in Ephesians 3 this morning, the first verse struck me. When the Holy Spirit is teaching me something, He often has me read it and read it and read it again (insert hardheadedness here). Paul is in prison, and he reveals the reason for his circumstances: "for the sake of you Gentiles." The apostle suffered time and time again so that the Gospel could be advanced. Yet, Paul makes more of the great mystery of Christ through the Gospel than he does of his situation. He humbles himself, saying he is the least of all saints in verse 8, and he points to God's glory in In the following few verses. Oh, how I long to make less of me and more of Him. There are so many times when I promote myself through pride, selfishness and indifference. But God is worthy of all of our praise all the time. No other name is worthy...only His!!!!!!

As we prepare to leave Guatemala City this morning, my heart is overflowing with gratitude to our Lord Jesus Christ for what He as allowed us to witness and participate in. We have joined with fellow brothers and sisters in Christ daily to lift Him up, and He has blessed in ways that I cannot describe. Honestly, there are so many snapshots running through my head that I cannot stop on just one. So, there will be more posts next week about specific events that God has used to bring Himself glory here!

On Wednesday night I shared a portion of my testimony of God's grace in my life. Clearly, I bring nothing of value to Him, and He does NOT need me. But I am desperately in need of Him. The Holy Spirit gave me the words to share, and I had no idea why or for whom the message was delivered. God often gives us commands without reasons and demands obedience. Those of us who like to be in control don't like that too much and often ask for explanations. But, I digress with my pride!!! It wasn't until yesterday after our women's meeting that I found the reason for the words.

A woman kept trying to talk to me and made her desires known to several other people. She told Greg that she wanted to talk to me and needed him to translate. She told Hannah too. Then, she found another team member and insisted on speaking with me. That wasn't enough for her, and she came to me and explained that she HAD to talk to me afterwards. She kept trying to get closer to me and couldn't wait for Patty to finish translating so we could really talk. I was getting a little uncomfortable here. Ever had a stalker? That's what it felt like....

But this woman, Lilliana, wanted to give glory to God for the testimony shared on Wednesday. God used it to speak to her heart. Through various circumstances, she ended up homeless and was told that she belonged to the street because she had no father. We encouraged one another with Ephesians 1:23 where Christ fulfills "all in all." There were many tears as we shared our stories and saw how God has weaved His great grace through our lives in similar ways.

Then, God overwhelmed me with His perfect love. A woman who struggles to make a living and feed her kids had just bared her sould and darkest moments to me. As she daily dwells in the pain of the past and survival for the future, she reached for her wrist. With a look of pure joy, Lilliana took off her silver bracelet with a pink heart and gave it to me. With tears streaming down all of our faces, God lavished His grace upon us. He reminded us of our unworthiness and highlighted His great grace (which is His glory beginning)!!! So, when you see my new bracelet, think of God's beautiful sacrifice for all of us. I know I will..... And I'll remember why we live this life...for the sake of the Gospel.

God's Timing...

2011-03-17T17:35:00.002-05:00

I am not patient...there, I said it. I am NOT patient, and I am keenly aware of it. God has taken us through adoptions in Guatemala and Uganda, which are both time-desensitized. Thus, my level of patience has increased greatly over the past few years but it is still not where it needs to be.

In light of this known fact, I have not worn a watch in almost 3 years. I try not to look at the time and to be more focused on relationships. However, that doesn't always align with my fleshly desires. Until yesterday...

In the afternoon our team divided into two groups and went to visit homes in the community of Lantana. This is a village outside of Guatemala City (about 30 minutes or so) with great poverty. Our church base here, New Jerusalen, has established a church plant there. We are working with the pastor of the church plant, Juan, and members of that church body.

So, we went to the first home and encountered a woman adamantly opposed to going to church...turns out she wasn't basically opposed to being a Christian. However, she did know the Gospel and had heard it before. Many of us shared the Gospel in its entirety and to show God's Word to her. We left with a new sister in Christ! Praise God Almighty for the way He works...we were excited to see Him work!

The next house was the test of my patience as it lasted for a while. I knew that we had to leave (based on Pastor Morales's request) at a certain time. So, when 4:00 came and went, I started getting antsy. I knew that I was responsible for this team, and their safety was on me. But, God had plans for this family to know Him in a way that was real and true. There was a lot of Bible reading and quoting of Scriptures. The Gospel was clear and questions were answered. God was good and faithful to His timing. We just had to sit and watch Him work.

So, the Spirit within me fought with the flesh yesterday to cut the time short and leave with everyone on time. Instead, we all waited for God's timing. And, it came. God is indeed good!

We give all praise to our God who is Sovereign and Mighty. He is good, and He fulfills His promises! We give Him all the glory!

Longing and Trusting

2011-03-16T05:32:00.002-05:00

Yesterday was a long and tiring day of ministering to over 200 children. We spent our day at New Jerusalen Church with children from the local school. Most of these kids come from impoverished homes and have little structure to their lives. We were exhausted just trying to teach God's Word while handling attention/discipline issues. At the same time, I am reminded that I was one of those kids many , years ago. Not as impoverished but poor....and needing some attention, love, and the Word of God. So we love as Christ loves us and teach despite the obstacles.
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While we are ministering, my heart misses and longs for my family. I love to hear their sweet voices in the morning and feel their precious hugs. I am so thankful for JT who is taking care of all the children, the house and school this week. I am grateful beyond words for the way he invests in our family daily!!!

While I'm longing for my family, God directs my attention to those who have no families. God has consistently brought specific families to my mind for prayer this week....all are in some stage of adopting....some I know well and some I don't. So I pray..specifically for God to be glorified and show Himself faithful to orphans. To Him alone be the praise!!!

Today we are heading back to Lantana to the school and the village. Please pray that we would share Christ boldly and primarily!! Also pray for wisdom and discernment for our team to follow God's plan!

What are you looking for?

2011-03-15T06:46:00.002-05:00

Whatever you are looking for, you are likely to find it. Here's what I mean...if you are on mission trip looking for animals, you'll see them. Looking for the reason God has you where you are? He'll reveal it to you. Wanting to seethe beautiful sights of another country? You will. Interested in seeing God's glory? He will definitely show you! So, what are you looking for today?

Today was our first full day in Guatemala, and for me, it started with tears. I woke up missing my "good morning Mommy" hugs and kisses and my hubby's sweet voice. But, as He always does, God led me to His sweet Word. I spent some great time in Ephesians, and God took my focus off my pity party. He specifically led me to pray for several people...okay, no problem. Then, He told me to tell them that I was praying for them...not as confident in that command, but I did it anyway. And, wow, God used it to bless me at the end of the day!

God took us to the village of Lantana today. We were able to share in the local school with 5th and 6th graders. It was a huge blessing for our team of women! We spent lunch at a church members house and then took off for home visits in the afternoon. God allowed us to pass out grocery bags and toiletry items to women in need. But, much more importantly we were privileged to share the Gospel and pray for these women.

We did have one scare when a gang of men dressed in black, including ski masks, came into the village unexpectedly. However, both teams moved quickly to safe houses and stayed there until the pastor determined it was safe. There was no fear as Christ calmed us and even gave our team the privilege to pray for several others as we waited. He is good indeed.

So, I leave you with this...what are you looking for today?

Leaving my babies....

2011-03-12T04:29:00.004-06:00

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It's NEVER ease leave new babies or children....and this time is NO exception. When we brought Jett home (because we had NO clue when that would be until a few weeks ahead of time), JT had to be gone on several mission trips fairly quickly. He was gone almost 6 weeks the first few months of us all being together. That made the transition for all of us very difficult.

But, this time, by God's grace, we have been able to schedule only 2 mission trips during these first few months. JT will be leading one in April to New Mexico, and I leave tomorrow to lead a group of women in Guatemala. My heart is heavy....I will miss being here...I will miss my husband...I will miss my children.

I am looking forward to spending time with these women and our friends in Guatemala. I know that God has a plan for us there, and He is Sovereign above all. His ways are good, and His thoughts are holy. I cling to that as my Mommy heart is torn. I have never had to be away from all my kids, and I am anxious. I am resting in God's goodness right now.

I am thankful that JT and his mom will be holding down the fort and sad that I will be missing the sweet smiles, kisses and hugs from here. I sure hope Skype helps......

Learning along the way....

2011-03-07T05:31:00.003-06:00

Someone at church asked me how we were doing yesterday, and I said "Well, we're just really getting settled. And, I'm trying to figure out how to be a Mommy to five children." While I was in Africa, I thought a lot about my sister in law Susan, my friend Dedy and my friend Cathy M. ....they all have five children. And, they seem to have it "all together" and with a smile on their faces. How do they do that?

God is molding me into that Mommy....molding is necessary a pleasant experience. There's so much to learn....always will be. So, I sit at His feet and study. There's no other place to be. The smiles in the pictures above show how God is molding our family...He is good indeed!

Smiles, Tears and Lots of Jumping....

2011-03-04T14:55:00.004-06:00

Zeke likes to jump off the retaining wall in the front yard. This is as high as he's gotten so far. Don't let Elly's position fool you....she didn't jump from there.

Jett, aka Rescue Man, jumps from the highest point, and he was SO proud of himself. The object in his hand is a telescope off the playground...a necessity for Rescue Man apparently.

This week Madison is Elly's buddy....it's just too much for this Momma's heart.

Zeke is all about getting kisses these days.

I can't say enough about how much this little angel has morphed over the past month. I love it!

When you see these two together, you think they are speaking the same language but they are not. They are bonding with each other as well as us!

There's nothing more precious than a former orphan showing love to his new brother and sister. He is a total joy and knows the way to his parents' hearts!

Zeke calls Madison "madizony" to make her laugh.....

Kaitlyn and Madison are truly gifts from God. They have blessed us beyond measure in helping with the new kiddos. We are so thankful for them.

Our sweet "daughter" Christy Barton asked me two questions last night as we talked on the phone. What has been the greatest blessing of this journey right now, and what has been the biggest struggle? I had to really think about that.....since she's in Australia, I figured I didn't have much time so I formulated an answer....

There have been a few tears since we've been home, and the children grieve what they no longer have....what they knew...all they knew...the language, the people, the food, the surroundings. None of that is here, and so sometimes, they grieve. But, those moments have really been few and far between since we came home. So, we grieve with them, hold them and cry...all together. The greatest struggle is to see our children want something or need something or try to communicate, and neither of us can understand the other. But, we are working daily to learn each other's hearts.

The greatest joy comes each morning, as JT and I stand in the kitchen. We hear little feet (okay, it sounds like a herd of elephants) coming down the stairs. Then, as Zeke comes around the corner, he gets so excited that we are still here. He throws his hands up in the air and screams...then, he comes running for one of us and jumps into our arms. He wraps his legs around us tight and squeezes as he says "Good morning!" Elly is more of our night owl, as mornings are not her forte. However, as soon as she gets in my arms, she wraps her legs around me with some fierce strength. She does not want to be put down until breakfast is officially on the table.

My favorite part of the day is when JT designates someone to pray over each meal. Zeke and Elly say, "Ka tu sabe!" which means "Let's pray." Then, Elly immediately says "Sank you Jeezhus for dis food".....she doesn't wait for the designated pray-er to begin. It's the sweetest sound you have ever heard....

And, then there's the jumping.....EVERY day without fail, Zeke wants to "jump" before breakfast, after breakfast, before lunch, after lunch, after nap, before dinner...whenever the notion strikes him. He loves to be outside on the trampoline or jumping off the retaining wall. All of the littles (Jett, Zeke and Elly) love to play on the playground together or out in the yard. There's been lots of jumping, and praise God, no stitches or broken bones YET!

All in all, we are settling in well to life as the Turner family. God has shown Himself Faithful in so many ways throughout the process and continues to do so. Just the week we were blessed with more clothes for the kids (seriously I thought everything HAD to be new when I had Kaitlyn.....but God showed me the error of my ways almost 10 years ago...now Elly and Zeke have more clothes than I do!). And, the sweet encouragement of friends just this week....conversations at church (Heather, Amy B, Amy W, Tammy, Angelia, Susie), a wonderful time of fellowship with my family (David, Daniel and Amanda), emails from sisters (Karen, Carol, Angel, LL)....and the meals (if Brook Hills would like to make extra money for missions around the world, I would HIGHLY recommend some of these women to offer their services as chefs)....and the prayers (I am BEYOND grateful). We are completely overwhelmed by God's goodness and mercy! He has been SO GOOD!!!!

Trying to find the new normal....

2011-02-28T13:26:00.004-06:00

Zeke insisted on putting on the cowboy hat....a Ugandan cowboy!

Seriously, how cute is Elly Faith?

Zeke and Elly playing Daddy and Mommy to the baby....

Entertainment is free for the taking around here....

We've been home for 10 days now, and we're still searching for the new normal around here. Before we left for Africa, the "idealic" notion of two more children just added a little more joy to our home. And noise...lots of noise. And trips to the bathroom...lots of those too. And cries for "Hold me please!" And requests for food...often. And bath times (the older three do this solo so we have some time to talk about that time of day). And requests for water. And, "Come here please!" can be heard often to show a new trick. But, abounding joy more than all of these things. So, JT and I are trying to get used to this new phase of life...or rather, returning to this old phase of life.

While we are much more laid back this time around, we are also older and less energetic. Pray for that! The days are longer as little ones require much more attention and training not to mention the whole language barrier. But, we are settling in around here. The biggest obstacle at this point is how to divide our school time so that everyone gets the necessary attention and education! I'll be seeking out other moms for wisdom on this one.

On another topic Zeke has taken all of his malaria medicine, and he is showing no more signs of the disease. He hasn't had a fever since we started the medicine which is amazing! We are blessed to live in a country where we have access to great medical care anytime!

Speaking of blessings, we have been showered with homemade meals that are absolutely amazing. From homemade chicken noodle soup to jambalaya to fajitas, the foods have been wonderful. And, they are such a time-saver and sanity-giving piece of happiness for me! I haven't had to think about cooking yet!

We covet your prayers in the days ahead as there is a lot of training to do...pray for wisdom that only comes from God! We want to honor Him in all that we do!

Homecoming....

2011-02-21T03:47:00.013-06:00

Hillary and Kaitlyn looking out for Elly...oh the fun to come in the day ahead.

Uncle Daniel with Kaitlyn and Elly. Daniel is one of the most generous people you will ever meet (and cheap at the same time). He will do anything for you...anything. He makes me laugh, and I count it a privilege to be his sister.

This picture brings tears to my eyes for many reasons...but the main one is that I LOVE and adore and admire and respect these people more than I can adequately communicate. John and Mary Crisp (and their sweet daughter, Auntie Michelle) are a blessing beyond measure.

Elly sucks her thumb and rubs her ear to go to sleep - absolutely precious. But, even a homecoming couldn't stir her.

Pure joy - coming home!

Zeke loves to "ride" on anything..including his Daddy's suitcase. This is the way we carried our kids through the airport since the airlines insisted on checking our stroller in Entebbe.
Kaitlyn and her good friend Hillary. What a blessing to have such a friend.
Sweet friends, Amanda McCollum and Tim Burch. They went above and beyond in helping us...from a breakfast casserole the next morning to turning on our A/C and lights to clothes for the kids to encouraging emails frequently. We are so thankful for their hearts for orphans.
My brother Daniel met us at the airport with his precious wife's vehicle. Our third seat wasn't in our Expedition (we totally overlooked that detail), so they put our car seats in Amanda's car and let us bring that home. I missed him SO much when I was in Africa...I count him among my best friends.
My brother David with Zeke. As soon as Zeke walked into his bedroom at home that night, he asked for Uncle David...I had to explain that Uncle David didn't live here. Zeke didn't like that. David was a constant source of encouragement and prayer for us while we were gone. He is one of my best friends too!
Kaitlyn took sweet Elly after a little while, and Elly remained sound asleep for the entire homecoming. She was worn out...nothing could awaken her...except the car seat.
My sweet friend Lisa Coker meeting Zeke for the first time. Lisa's prayers and emails were such a blessing to us while we were gone.
My sweet gift from God, Mary Crisp. She has been like a mom to me, and I am overwhelmed beyond words for her and John. They have blessed us more than I can say. They are our extended family, and we are so grateful for them.
I love this picture....it shows people with a heart for the nations. They loved on us in ways I cannot describe....
My precious new friend Danielle. This picture says more than I can share....and it makes my heart smile.
The ONE thing that Jett wanted more than anything when he came home...food, a comfy bed, a hot bath...NOPE...to see his friend Harry. Jett was overjoyed!
Madison receiving a hug from her friend Holly. The girls were so thankful to have their friends there to encourage them and welcome them home.

We are home and getting settled in...JT and I have a little jet lag and thus the reason I'm up at 3:55 am to write a post. We were at church yesterday and were given a precious gift...pictures of our homecoming. My friend, Allison Lewis, took these photos, and they are a gracious reminder of how good our Father is! It is a picture of a community of believers who walked this journey with us and how God made a way for these former orphans.

I tried to pick just 5...but alas, I could not. I REALLY tried people...REALLY. Hey, I did narrow it down to 18. Alison is going to take our family pictures when we truly get settled and the kids know a little more English.....

For now, everyone is doing well. Elly has adjusted easily and finds being a "girly girl" an easy task around here. She likes to change her clothes (constantly asking "chusa en goye?" - change my clothes?) and dress up. She loves baby dolls and the microphone. Zeke is struggling a bit with eating and going to the potty - mainly because he was allowed to do whatever he wanted whenever he wanted. So, it's a new experience to have food 3 times a day and go to a Western toilet. But, he's trying so hard. Last night, he ate asparagus and grapes...proudly.

JT's mom and sister are coming today, and our kids will be so excited to see them. Since they Skyped with both of them from Africa, they will recognize them immediately. We saw this in church yesterday when they saw their uncles, aunt and cousin Chloe!

Speaking of church...what a blessing to be back "home" yesterday on a Sunday. We were overwhelmed with the outpouring of love for our family. I cannot even describe how I felt...but "grateful" and "encouraged" come to mind.

Hopefully, we will post a family picture soon! For now, pray that we adjust to a schedule around here and get some school done in the near future. We love you all!

Six Things....

2011-02-15T23:37:00.004-06:00

This post was written this morning before our day began....read all the way to the bottom to see what happened.......

In order for our family of seven to come home tomorrow night, there are 6 things that MUST take place today in a particular order. Now, keep in mind that we are in Africa and EVERYTHING is done on African time. So, we have been realistic with our expectations and accomplishing one thing a day is worthy of a medal!

So, asking for 6 things is like asking your invalid grandmother to run a marathon....we CANNOT make this happen. It's impossible. But, our God is the God of impossibles. He is Sovereign, and we are resting in Him today. Just now as we were in the van, I prayed, "God, help me not to plan this day or try to manipulate the situation. I pray that my will/desires will die to Yours alone. I trust You."

For those of you who are praying....here are the specifics (as each one happens, we will update):

1. Go to the Embassy at 7:30 am and beg for an appointment this afternoon. (DONE!!!!)
2. Receive our passports. (DONE!!!)
3. Contact our travel agent to get flights for Zeke and Elly. These have already been paid for and placed on hold but are waiting on passport numbers for ticketing. (DONE!!!)
4. Receive our court order and have it notarized. (DONE!!!)
5. Receive our court ruling and have it notarized. (DONE!!!)
6. Have a favorable interview at the US Embassy at 3:00. (DONE!!!)

We can't thank you guys enough for all of the prayers. We know that the Holy Spirit is ministering to us through all of you!!!!

THAT'S RIGHT....GOD SHOWED HIMSELF GLORIOUS ONCE AGAIN! It is a miracle of the Lord that all of these things happened today! We are coming home.....we will be arriving in Birmingham at 9:35 PM on Friday night on American Airlines. Praise, honor, and all glory belong to God alone!!!!!

A Plead for a Miracle....

2011-02-15T11:59:00.000-06:00

Today I am ~~asking~~, ~~imploring~~, begging you for prayer for tomorrow. We did not receive our passports today which pushes everything to tomorrow. We have to first go to the U.S. Embassy and ask them to please allow us to have an interview with the remaining three items (court order, court ruling and passports) in hand. We know that the ruling and order have already been written.

So, we will be at the embassy at 7:30 in the morning asking for an interview with exceptions. PLEASE pray with us that this will be granted. Then, we will go into town and pick up our passports around 8:30. Our court appointment is at 10:30. We would LOVE to be back at the Embassy around 2:00 with everything we need.

I am begging all of you to intercede to the Father on our behalf. We NEED and COVET your prayers right now. Please pass this along to anyone who is willing to pray! We need the saints of our Lord Jesus Christ to stand in the gap for us. We are so thankful for your prayers.

This Week...

2011-02-14T00:41:00.002-06:00

The kids take turns pretending like they are asleep, and one of the others comes up quietly and scares them. Then, they proceed to chase each other around the yard laughing incessantly!

In order for us to come home this week, many things have to happen at just the right time. Here's the breakdown:

1. Receive passports today.
2. Send passport numbers to our travel agent (I HIGHLY recommend Eldo Miller at Golden Rule Travel for adoption airfares!).
3. Take the passports to the US Embassy.
4. Receive our court ruling and order on Wednesday at 10:00 am.
5. Get copies of the ruling quickly.
6. Submit the original ruling to the Embassy by noon (traffic here can be a nightmare, and you can really only legitimately plan to accomplish one thing a day).
7. Send the ruling to our social worker, Claire, at Lifeline.
8. Interview at the Embassy at 2:00 on Wednesday afternoon with former guardians of the children.
9. Receive a favorable reply from the Embassy that day.
10. Get our visa from the Embassy on Thursday.
11. Catch our midnight flight on Thursday (well technically Friday).

So, this is a God-sized tasks (everything is...), and we trust in Him. We know that ALL things are possible with our God, and He never fails. If He chooses to allow all of these things to happen in this way, we will praise Him. If He does not, we will still praise Him!

And for an update on the kids (we KNOW that's what you are all here for!).... They are both learning a lot (as we are too). There are daily struggles and daily victories. It is not easy, but we never thought it would be.... There are times I think I can't breathe and moments that are absolutely amazing. And sometimes,t these moments coincide. But, our God sustains us!

Zeke has never been taken care of in a way that demonstrates love and concern. So, as JT said, "It's like softening the heart of a man to find the soul of a little boy." He adores his Poppa and loves to play with balloons and balls. He likes to drink Chai and eat bread. He loves meat and carbs.... He still has gray spots in his head from lack of nutrition and food when he was younger. He will eat anything in sight at any time......including leaves off trees and crumbs on the floor. He has a survival instinct where he eats all he can when he can because he doesn't know when his next meal will come. We experienced the same issue with Jett but it subsided fairly quickly. We continue to reassure him that we will have another meal. Pray that God will soften his heart to appropriate boundaries, receiving genuine love and being certain of our care for him.

Elly likes to be called Elly Faith or Elly Boo when we get a chance. She is full of life and loves to run and laugh. She has ventured out to eat many things but will pick every bit of "green" out of a dish whether it is a spice or a vegetable. She has moments when she just cries for 30 minutes at a time (sometimes with tears and others without). Just last night, she sat in my lap and cried and cried. I held her and reassured her that we love her and will be here for her. She told one of the workers at our guesthouse today that she was ready to go to our home (and if we left her, she would cry). To think that she even imagines we would leave her breaks my heart. Pray that God would heal the sadness and memories in her heart and that she would be open to receiving love from our family.

We love you all and covet your prayers!!!!

Another Year Older....

2011-02-12T12:45:00.000-06:00

Today was my birthday. I had forgotten the date until my friend Lora and I were traveling across town to visit some children. She had to remind me! By the way, I would encourage you to follow her blog at www.vitafamiliae.com. They are adopting a little girl here and have 5 kids at home in Birmingham, AL. Lora is a dear friend and a fabulous writer…love her! Time is of little importance here, and my days are totally messed up. Plus, the time difference between home and here makes me forget if it’s day or night.

But, one of my cherished memories of today is my new son Zeke singing Happy Birthday to me….sounded more like “Hoppy Bursday toooo youuuuuuu.” And then, my friends Angelia and Susie had prepared a surprise for me before we left Alabama. Tonight, we celebrated at a local Italian restaurant. Their surprise included confetti, balloons, streamers, party favors (even for the waiters), a candle, and some of my favorite snacks! I felt loved!

Then, I open emails to find hundreds of birthday wishes. Wow…I am beyond blessed. Please know that I am grateful beyond words…I wish I could express my thankfulness to each of you personally. But, time is limited (and sometimes electricity too) and 5 kids are keeping me on my toes.

I’m so thankful that God has placed each of you in my life. May His name be honored and glorified above all else!

Hopeful....

2011-02-11T21:34:00.003-06:00

As I sit in the living room of our guest house, it is 6 in the morning. No one else is awake but me and the 3 million mosquitoes (seriously, with all of the brain power in the world...can someone not invent something to get rid of these insects?). But, more importantly I am rejoicing in some news we received yesterday. I hesitate to even put this down in writing, but even if it doesn't happen, we will praise the Lord (plus it's helpful to those who will follow down this road).

Our friends and I went to the US Embassy yesterday to turn in our paperwork. Now, we've already been several times to turn in birth certificates and social history reports. As you complete or receive paperwork, it is a good idea to go ahead and turn it in quickly. Plus, because of past fraud issues around the globe with adoption, it is important that the officials see your face often.

So, we went to turn in our papers...for our family, that includes 2 different sets of government paperwork (4 documents), copies of our passports, irrevocable releases for the adoptions, and passport photos. We still have the kids' passports and the court ruling to submit. The way the process has been working in Uganda is this...get in ALL of your paperwork, schedule an interview for an appropriate day (Mondays and Wednesdays only), have the interview, and then get the visa several days later. The process of scheduling and having an interview can be 3 days to 2 weeks later typically. So, our plan was to turn in all of our paperwork on Wednesday (the 16th) when we received our court ruling.

However, we did not know that the US Embassy would be closed on Friday the 18th for elections here in Uganda and on the 21st for Presidents' Day in the US. So, we knew that our best hope was an interview on Wednesday the 23rd and hopefully a visa on the 25th. That would put us coming home on the 27th or so.

When I talked to the US Embassy yesterday, the official asked me to bring the kids's passports by on Tuesday and the court ruling on Wednesday (we'll be booking it as our ruling is read at 10 and the embassy closes at 12 for submission of paperwork). However, she also told me that I could bring it to the interview if that doesn't work. Okay.... She scheduled our interview for THAT afternoon...the 16th! What? That is unheard of...an interview the same day as our documents are submitted? For future adoptive parents, this is highly unlikely but due to the closings that are on the horizon.

So, I asked hesitantly, "So, if our interview is on Wednesday, and you are closed Friday and Monday, when would we get our visas for the children?" She told me that they would push to get us the visas on Thursday, the 17th....are you serious? I saw God's hand at work in a way that I couldn't fathom. I'm hopeful but know that this is not guaranteed.

If all goes smoothly, then we will fly home on Friday the 18th (we leave a little after midnight on Thursday). We would arrive in Birmingham (sweet home Alabama) about 9:30 on Friday night.

Please pray that the process continues to work smoothly and for our sanity! We would love to come home this quickly to transition the new kiddos easier. Thank you all for your prayers...we are so grateful for the saints that surround us!

A miracle on the way?

2011-02-11T11:46:00.000-06:00

This One's for Jett

2011-02-10T07:32:00.002-06:00

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Today, February 10th, is Jett's birthday. He is seven! It's so hard to believe that he is already 7...time truly does fly by! He is a gift from the Lord to our family, and we are so blessed!

So, about 3 months ago, Jett asked for a birthday present...one that I knew I had no way to control....one that I could NOT provide. He asked for a brother....

Today was our court appointment, and to be honest, I just wanted to throw up and cry all at the same time. To all the mothers out there, it was that feeling right before you see your child for the first time. It lasted about 3 hours.... I prayed throughout the entire court proceedings (let's be honest...some was in Lugandan and other parts were just so quiet, I couldn't hear a word they were saying).

As we left the court room, we had to cross the hall to get our oldest three children (there wasn't enough room for everyone in the courtroom). I called Jett over to me and said, "Well, do you remember what you asked for your birthday?" "Yes!" he exclaimed with hopeful eyes. "God has provided more than you asked...it's a brother and a sister," I told him joyfully!

God has shown Himself faithful to His promises! I KNEW that people were praying for us around the world...we felt the sweet presence of the Holy Spirit! What a blessing! Praise be to the Father above for his goodness! I've been so unfaithful at times, yet He has remained faithful! All glory and honor and praise to Him ALONE!!!!

Thank you is NOT enough for the hundreds of notes of encouragement we have received and the prayers that we know were prayed! We are grateful beyond measure! We love you all!

So, tonight we will celebrate Jett's 7th birthday with 2 new family members! We will receive our court order on Wednesday and turn in all of our paperwork to the US Embassy. We hope to be home sometime in the next few weeks!!!

Worthy of All Praise....

2011-02-07T12:56:00.003-06:00

What a day....with friends here, we are able to "divide and conquer." So, one group took off for the lawyer's office and US Embassy, and the others went to the medical clinic. Let me say that I got the better end of that deal with the embassy run.... (please see earlier post about Elly going to doctor the first time. I think I deserve a break, thank you.)

Meanwhile, our friends discovered a missing passport plus a good deal of money. It was stolen. We didn't realize this until we returned to our lodging this afternoon. The scenario involved an interrogation and a police report...not exactly basking in the beauty of Uganda.

And JT is sick...very sick. He came back to our residence feeling sick to his stomach, feverish and achy. Then, he began to run a fever and have chills at the same time. When I saw him asking for a blanket and long sleeve shirt with 80 degree weather, I knew something was wrong (those who have been in our home know that he likes to keep it a cool 55...okay, that may be exaggerating a bit). So, our friend Peter suspects malaria and takes JT to the local clinic.

JT gets malaria medicine and instructions on what medicines he needs to take. Hopefully, he will be feeling somewhat better tomorrow. So, it was just me and the five kiddos tonight....no reminder needed that I'm inadequate for this job...both new kiddos begin crying at the same time...Kaitlyn goes to the police station with our friend, and well, supper revolved around fish (not really kid-friendly).

But, in all my inadequacies, He shows Himself strong and faithful. He is worthy of all praise. God and God alone. We rest in Him tonight, and we know that He is who He says He is. He is the Great I Am, the Lion of Judah, the Alpha and Omega, and the Everlasting Father. We believe in Him (but even if we didn't, He would still be all those things and more). We trust Him. We give Him all honor and praise for this path.

Prayers Needed...

2011-02-05T22:40:00.002-06:00

Just this past week we have seen/heard of 2 families getting kicked out of court. That means that they will go home and have to come back later for their children. This breaks my heart...and makes me anxious about our own case. I worry that the same thing could happen to us. I'm not an anxious person most of the time....however, I have one child who is. And, once she heard this news, she began to worry...each day she cries about the possibility of leaving Africa without her brother and sister. So, we pray.

This Thursday is CRUCIAL to our adoption process. We need a favorable ruling from the judge in order to adopt both children. Once the judge gives his approval, we will only need the official document from him. Then, we get to deal with the US Embassy.... So, we are asking that everyone pray diligently for us on Wednesday and Thursday. The court case is scheduled for 12:00 our time which is 3:00 am for our friends in the Central Time Zone (the rest of you guys can figure your time I think)! Please beseech the Father on our behalf...we are earnestly praying for a favorable ruling!

Speaking of favorable, I must admit that most of these days I'm consumed with fear and confusion. The environment is wearing us down, and we are all tired. But, God has granted us friends and family who are encouraging us every day. I can't possibly list everyone who has shared their hearts with us, but I do want to tell you guys that God uses you to minister to us daily. As I read your encouraging words to the family, we are all moved to a great sense of gratitude. God has blessed us immensely!

Finding Hope in the Midst of the Storm...

2011-02-05T01:31:00.002-06:00

In the midst of the storm, Jesus speaks. He calms our hearts and minds and refocuses our attention on Him. He is the reason we live, and we give Him all the glory!

Yesterday was a day of tears all around. I went into town with a driver to the US Embassy as well as to receive birth certificates for each of our new children. The goal was to get the certificates and take them back to the embassy by 11:30 am. Well, that didn't work out...but we did get both birth certificates by the end of the day. In fact, Zeke was apparently born twice, as he now has 2 Ugandan birth certificates (different registration numbers....). Oh well! On the other hand, we received news that our court date has been changed to Thursday...another delay. However, we are hopeful that this will give us more time to acquire all of the necessary information for the court (on a side note our friends are going home without their baby and have to return in about 6 weeks). So, my heart is hopeful that we will have all of the details of our court case worked out by Thursday.

While we are weary and teary-eyed, we also see the hope and grace of Jesus Christ. Through everyday moments, He shows Himself faithful and good:

watching a very sad little girl turn into a happy carefree child.
hearing "fank you" (thank you) with a British accent
seeing Jett grab the hands of his brother and sister to take a walk
observing Zeke and Elly jump without abandon into our arms in the pool
hearing Madison talk about the lessons God is teaching her in the waiting process
seeing my wonderful husband toss Zeke into the air through squeals of laughter
looking at Kaitlyn help her sister take a shower every night (and pretending to shave under her arms...)

God gives us glimpses into His love for us each day. We are so unworthy, yet He loves us whole-heartedly. He calls us to be here and to stay for these precious little ones. While we are uncomfortable and want to be home, we know why we are here. He is sustaining us through all of you....thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

Lord, help us....

2011-02-03T20:32:00.003-06:00

Zeke posing again...this one is for Autumn.

Seriously...how cute is this?

Happy eyes...I love them!

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Elly likes to brush Mommy's hair.

Jett being Jett...love this kid. So proud of him!

I would love for each of these posts to be uplifting and encouraging, but life is messy, and it is not always "Sunday morning" acceptable. I am weary...I am tired...I stink...I want to go home. I wish I could just wrap up all five of my kids and be in my house. I want a real shower...I want some coffee...I want my house.... I want, I want, I want. I am trying to die to self so that Christ may be glorified. It is SO hard....I cannot do this alone...I simply can't do this.

I've spent many hours crying here. Things definitely do not go as planned. We've been told 7 different times that we were going to get our birth certificates for our kids (very important to both the court process here in Uganda and the visa process for the US). We still don't have them....one of them is downtown at a ministry office and the other is still in process. I cannot adequately communicate the frustration, anger, confusion and disappointment I feel.

But, I know in the One whom I have believed. He is able, and He is faithful. I rely completely on Him. I NEED God to do what only He can do today...I cannot do this. I fail miserably, but He never fails. I will fall flat on my face (and have many times) without God. I am nothing without Him. He is everything!

I have to tell you that I'm at the end of my rope. I have just finished reading Mary Beth Chapman's book....wow. I cried a lot. God ministered to me and spoke directly to my heart through her journey. It was just what I needed right now. But more than any book, I rely on His Word. It sustains me...it nourishes me. I cannot do anything else right now but seek Him.

Please pray for our process. We are all very weary and are concerned about our older three children. They are all growing tired...they are eager to return home. They have all been a little weepy and homesick.

We love you all!

Ups and Downs...

2011-02-02T12:27:00.002-06:00

It's been another day of ups and downs. We spent most of the day on a "tourist" attraction, the equator. It was very cool for the kids to see how water goes clockwise on the northern hemisphere side, counter clockwise on the southern hemisphere side and straight down on the equator. Science lesson...check!

Meanwhile we received news that our court date has been moved to Monday. Since we have 2 cases (and not one), the judge wanted to hear them at the same time. I am struggling with issues involving trust and truth at this point. I'm not sure I understand either right now....

I am SO thankful that some of our friends are here. I had a "come apart" crying session while we were out today. So grateful that God had my friend there to walk the journey with me. Speaking of friends....I am extremely blessed by the friends God has placed in our lives. Please keep the encouragement coming.. God has used it to strengthen us daily! And, we love to see your smiling faces on Skype. If you have Skype and want to talk to us, we can set up a time!

We love you all and thank God for you. Please remember our global disciple-making pastor in your prayers. We received news yesterday that he has a tumor in his brain. Please lift him (Jonathan) and his family up before the Father who can do immeasurably more than we imagine.

You Scream, I Scream...We All Scream!

2011-02-01T10:02:00.003-06:00

Today was almost comical (and I'm sure it will be in about 3 months....). First, we waited (that's a common theme) for the driver to come this morning. JT was going to go with Peter to pick up our friends at the airport, and I was going to take the little ones to the medical clinic for a medical exam. However, the driver was 1 1/2 hours late (not uncommon), and so we all had to go the clinic together.

We sat in the waiting room until the receptionist realized that she had not put us in a room yet (pretty obvious that we were the only ones there for a while). The medical exam was not exactly as thorough as we are used to in the US but the doctor was kind. Then, he sent us to get some bloodwork done for a test. Lord, have mercy!

I took Elly in first, and she was sound asleep. So, I was hoping (okay, dreaming) that the prick wouldn't wake her. But, it turns out that it did! She jerked her arm and well, the needle came out, blood spattered everywhere on her and me. She started screaming uncontrollably. Meanwhile, the nurse asked me to hold her again so I brought in Kaitlyn for reinforcements. Keep in mind that Kaitlyn gets queasy at the sight of blood so I was praying.... I had to wrap my legs around Elly's legs and hold her arm tightly. She was screaming bloody-murder. I was crying, she was crying, Kaitlyn was crying, and the nurse was not exactly sympathetic to our plight.

When we left I was a mess. Elly held both arms out by her side for almost an hour because she didn't want to let them fall down again. She was so scared. I held her and looked into her eyes. I sang to her, cuddled her and told her it was for her own good that we had this done. She didn't believe me.... I didn't either. But, God reminded me that things that are hurtful happen to us all the time. We encounter circumstances in life that are painful and raw. They hurt deeply. We don't see God's plan, but we must know that He is Sovereign. His plan is great, and He is good!

Meanwhile, JT took Zeke in to the lab. He came out with no problems....clearly I got the raw end of that deal. But, Zeke had already thrown up in the car before the clinic and JT cleaned him on the side of the road. We received the "Parents of the Year" award for not remembering wipes and a change of clothes...gotta remember those things now.

We will be going to court on Friday. Please pray for a smooth process and a quick ruling. We need your prayers!

Sin and Gratitude

2011-01-31T00:04:00.002-06:00

Zeke strolling with his Poppa to the engineer's guesthouse.

Zeke climbing in a mango tree at the guesthouse. (Kaitlyn is the eye behind most of these pictures!)

Sweet smile!

A great contrast to the sad eyes we first witnessed.

Elly contemplating while we are at the engineer's house for tea.

I am reminded today of the way I hang on tightly to preferences….we all do I’m afraid. I find comfort in them, and I desire them way more than I would like to admit. God often reveals the sinfulness and darkness of my heart when I am away from home. This time is no different. I miss the comforts of home and began to want them….sometimes I want them more than I want the holiness of the Father. I am ashamed to admit my weaknesses…it is painful. But, it is real.

So I see the sin and spend time thanking God for the things I often take for granted:

· Clean water

· Water that is reliable and is a “given” every day at home

· Electricity

· Hot showers/baths

· Scrambled eggs

· A hot breakfast every day

· Books

· Mail

· Phone calls

· Couches and recliners

· A family dining room where we all gather to eat.

· Cold milk

· Grapes and cantaloupe

· School

· Our home church, The Church at Brook Hills

· The English language

· Refrigeration

· Toilet paper

· Garbage cans

· Friends!

I’m sure the list could go on and on! What are you thankful for today?

We worshiped this morning with our fellows brothers and sisters in Christ in the church at Jgogo. It was a great time of singing, dancing, praying and learning together. If every Sunday was like that, I would lose 50 lbs easily…. I want to say that it reminded me how thankful I am for the amount of time and prayer our worship gathering staff (Jim Watkins and crew) spend each week to prepare for our corporate time together. We missed being with our faith family today but also saw God move in powerful ways here.

Zeke and Elly have both had a better day today. We have had few episodes but they did well in church. JT will have to tell the story of meeting Zeke’s birth father today….that is his story to weave….

Please pray for our friends, Barry and Joy Coffee and Andrew and Lora Lynn Fanning, who will be flying to Uganda tomorrow. We will pick them up at the airport on Tuesday. We are so excited that God has blessed us with their friendship!

Not Always Picture Perfect...

2011-01-29T10:31:00.002-06:00

The best big brother...enjoying having a boy playmate!

Peaceful sleep - this comes during naptime and after a terror grieving fit.

We have already spent quite a lot of time in the yard playing ball and running!

The home of our hosts, Peter and Phoebe Sozi, in Kampala.

When I write these posts, I tend to think of updating family and friends on where we are in the process. At the same time, this is a journal for our children to read later in life. And, it is for those who will follow the road of adoption one day. So, in light of all of these, I tend to think of anything that would be an encouragement to those reading it....but today, that is hard.

We have had numerous "fits" today and let me explain what I mean by that. It is a kicking, screaming, crying episode that lasts 10-30 minutes each time. Think of a 2 year old tantrum grounded in grief. What do Zeke and Elly have to grieve? A lot! They have both been neglected, abandoned and hurt by the people who are closest to them. But, now they are in a home with people they don't know who talk a language they don't know. Everything is new and scary. So, when they have a fit, we hold them and whisper "I love you, and I will always love you. God loves you more." They cry and cry and cry.

Today was a day with at least 10 fits between the two of them...and of course, they don't time them to be together.....(just like their nap times). So, it is draining and exhausting. It is hard and painful. But, with God's grace, we endure.

So, it's not always picture perfect, but it IS God's design for our family. He is teaching me so much about grace, mercy and love. I am thankful for the pain, and I know that there is growth in the process. There are moments when I think I can't take it anymore (and then I realize this is just the beginning), and I cling to the cross of Christ.

Please continue to pray for us. Your posts have been a blessing beyond measure here, and they help to keep me going! We love you all!

God heals the broken heart....

2011-01-28T12:21:00.002-06:00

Every girl wants a hat, right? She had to get creative with the game markers.

This was the beginning of a smile. Many more came today!

The laugh is hysterical. It is contagious!

There it is...God's abundant grace in action!

God alone can heal. He is the Great Healer, and He uses pain and suffering in our lives to bring glory to Himself. He is worthy of all praise, and so anything good we share is from Him.

Today's post is about Elly...our sweet Ellyson Faith. Sometime in her little 2 years and 4 months, she has been hurt, abandoned and neglected. She went without food, water, clothing and shelter. She has been harmed in ways I do not know and may not know for a long time. So, God entrusted her tiny heart to our family. I am honored and privileged with that gift. At the same time, I am scared beyond measure. What will this journey be like?

I got a glimpse today....I watched in agony as she pitched a great fit...kicking, screaming and crying...I held her until she stopped. I just kept rocking her and telling her that I loved her. God knows that patience is not my forte, and He grants me just what I need for the time I need it.

In spite of the tearful episodes, God allowed us to see Elly smile and laugh a lot today. She would bust out laughing at the oddest times, but it was a delight. Yesterday, she smiled a few times but it was so rare that we got no pictures. But, today was different...thank you Lord for such a sweet present to us!

On the legal end, we discovered that we will be in court on either Tuesday or Wednesday. Pray for everything to go well and that our petition would be granted without any delay. We are so grateful for all the prayers!

A Day Full of Firsts....

2011-01-27T22:02:00.003-06:00

Although this is Zeke's pouty face, this is just one of the faces he makes for the camera. He is already a ham.

This is Zeke's face most of the day!

Elly playing ball for the first time. It was right after this that she smiled for the first time!

Kaitlyn and Elly waiting to leave. Both kids love to have their cups nearby...must be strange to get clean water whenever you want it.

Today, we awoke as a family of 7. There were many firsts today, and the top of the list is my favorite:

· When Elly came down the stairs this morning, she looked around the living room at everyone (there were about 7 of us waiting) and came straight to me. My heart….it was a mess.

· After breakfast both children had their teeth brushed for the first time. I would brush my teeth, and then brush each of theirs. They did exceptionally well at spitting…..

· Zeke went to the potty exactly 28 times today (and only 3 of those were outside). He is definitely not used to drinking this much water, AND he is very fond of watching the toilet flush.

· Zeke ate a cucumber….not his favorite. The boy can eat so we have to watch how much he eats. But, never fear…veggies are not his favorite.

· Elly tried everything offered to her but LOVES mango!

· Zeke would eat a horse and a cow if they were offered to him.

· Elly colored today…she prefers plain paper and just marks all over it. She likes the idea of putting a colored pencil in the hole of a notebook and watching it stand up.

· Zeke can follow simple directions in Luganlish (that’s Lugandan and English). For example, I said “Awile water?” and he went to get his water.

· Zeke knows everyone’s name and likes to repeat anything we say (today, I overheard Jett teaching him words like t-rex, facetious and awesome).

· Elly smiled several times today. I wish we had gotten this precious gift on camera but they are few and far between. But, they existed today, and that was God’s healing beginning in her heart.

· They both slept on a mattress last night.

· Both had baths today…(thank you April Holloway for your excellent product advice). Elly LOVED it and Zeke screamed throughout his…apparently, he wanted cold water…go figure.

I could go on and on…but needless to say, there are also some difficult things that we are walking through. Both of these children have painful memories and struggles. We have to love them through every bit of that. And, it is NOT easy. Adoption can be painful and isolating and lonely. But, I am so grateful for all of the emails, notes and phone calls we have gotten over the past few days. We feel so loved and surrounded by a community of support.

For those of you who are about to adopt, know that sometimes you have to cocoon your family in order to deal with attachment issues as well as emotional trauma. It is hurtful and time consuming. Many will not understand. It is a struggle…. But, God Himself has a hand in all of the pain. He works in and through it both in the children's lives and in our lives. His handiwork is a beautiful tapestry of grace and mercy.

I am in awe of the way He has worked out the details of this adoption. Please continue to pray for all of the legal matters to fall into place quickly. We love Africa, but we love our home too. And, we want our children to settle into our home soon. Pray for a quick legal process and a transition that honors Christ.

PS We were able to Skype with JT's mom last night while Zeke was still awake fighting sleep (Elly had just fallen asleep). Zeke thought it was funny to see his "Meemaw" on the computer. He even said her name, told her he loved her and would see her soon.

Please do pray for the kids' sleep patterns. They are used to sleeping whenever they are bored and late at night. They have a hard time sleeping in such a new environment.

Pics We Promised...

2011-01-27T07:20:00.004-06:00

Here are the pictures we promised you from yesterday......