Boasting...

Last week I was running when God puts this thought in my head: "Lay your sins bare." The conversation went something like this...

God: Lay your sins bare.
Me: What? Lord, are you serious? (yes, that's me questioning the Lord and not in deep respect either)
God: Lay your sins bare.
Me: Haven't I already done that?
God: Lay your sins bare.
Me: Okay, Lord. I do not understand but I will.
God: Here's one...stop allowing people to boast in you but point them to boast in me.
Me: Ouch. You are right. All praise and honor belong to You alone. I get it.
God: It may feel good when people are praising you but you are stealing from Me.
Me: Yes Lord.

Ummmm, okay where to start? Let's just start where He pointed out the sin. I am guilty of pride and wanting to hear compliments about our healthy lifestyle and how good it looks. I am totally and utterly sinful. I want to hear good things. I like it (a lot) when people say I am skinny (although I do NOT see myself that way at all). I enjoy the compliments. I do...I really do. But, no man is worthy of praise. None!

Encouragement is one thing, so don't get me wrong. I long for encouragement and need that too. But, praise is NOT mine for the taking. So, if you must boast, boast in Him alone. He DID this...and not me! I am weak and unworthy and so undisciplined. I want to give up regularly and make excuses and whine and complain. He graciously accepts me with all of my faults and pushes me to be more like Him. He knows what I can do because He formed me. He made me like this. He is worthy of all the praise and honor and glory.

Let's give Him the glory and point the success to Him alone. I will boast in what He has done! Praise Him!

More sin baring to come....uuggh!

I WANNA QUIT!

"I wanna quit!!" That's the theme of my life some days. I think I get easily caught up in my own little world which seems to magnify EVERYTHING. Raising five kids, three of whom are adopted and have a whole 'nother set of issues, the role of wife to a man who is out of town regularly, trying to eat healthy and exercise every day, homeschooling two kindergarteners, a third grader, an 8th grader and a 10th grader, daily quiet time with the Lord, managing all of our schedules, soccer, co-op, races, discipleship opportunities, time with friends, and oh, managing the ministry administrative side....it just gets a little much some days, you know?

Recently our family had the opportunity to go to Disney World where we had a blast...I wouldn't say it was restful...but it was good. I have to honestly say that it was the most fun watching Zeke...after EVERY single ride, restaurant, show, parade..he would squeal with delight. I saw several Disney cast members laugh because of his reaction. I think this picture sums it up...and it makes me laugh daily.

While we were so grateful for the time away, we had to face the reality of coming back home. And getting back into the swing of healthy eating (we ate about 80% healthy at WDW) and exercise (we did exercise there too) has been HARD! I wanna quit...every day!

So, whoever said this gets easier...YOU LIED! It is still a mental battle that I must surrender to the Lord every moment. This past Saturday I ran with JT and Madison who are both training for a half-marathon in November. They are ahead of me on training but I've been running on their long runs on Saturday anyway. Hey, who knows, maybe I'll just run that half-marathon with them at this point? I should if I'm training...or that's my thought at this moment...I'm sure that could change at any given moment. Anyway, back to the story. They were supposed to run 8.3 miles which would be the furtherest I've run (and them too) but I had agreed to go 7.5 because I had to take our oldest daughter to a birthday outing.

The first 3 miles were difficult and my body and mind kept screaming, "I wanna quit!" But once I get settled into the rhythm and focus my mind on God, I just keeping running. I am so grateful that the Lord is using the time to tame my mental laziness and turn my attention to His great name!

So, on Sunday we agreed to participate in an adventure race for Sozo Children (they work in Uganda...check it out..pretty cool stuff). We had never been in an adventure race and didn't know what to expect. Naïvely I thought that there would be a short obstacle every mile or so for 3 miles...I was WRONG. There were a dozen or so obstacles and most involved mud and water. The picture below is not a clear picture as we had to swim across a small part of a lake at the end which washed all of the mud off! But, looking back, it was fun....and I would do it again.

Just this morning I did NOT want to run. But the air was cool (thank you Lord) and crisp, and so I headed out. I spent the whole first mile (that's ten minutes) telling the Lord why I wanted to quit and justifying quitting at any given second. God gently reminded me that I need to spend that time praying and to stop complaining. So, I mentally recall the prayer list that He has given me.....

I think of friends waiting for their travel dates to China to meet their new children and a friend who is waiting for a double lung transplant and missionaries in Guatemala and a child who will forever be in a wheelchair yet praises the Lord and friends battling cancer and a friend who will marry off her daughter soon and friends who have children in college now or grandchildren and a friend battling an autoimmune deficiency and another who is battling an addiction and so many more. God is so good to take my mind off of me...and to place it on Him.

And now I can officially say that I am NOT a quitter. I am in this for the long haul. It is a lifestyle and not a quick fix. I am most looking forward to the half marathon in February because God has given me 53 people to pray for..that's someone every 1/4 mile (and one for the last tenth)...and I will need EVERY one of them. I will write their initials on my forearms and intercede.... I might miss a few princesses along the way..but my attention will be heavenward. I seek nothing less.

I have an enemy, and his name is ....

Chocolate. Yep, chocolate. More specifically, Hershey’s dark chocolate chips. And, he comes dressed in a brown bag with beautiful writing on it. He tempts my soul.

In Matthew 4 satan tempts Jesus in various ways. I can say that I would have been the most tempted by the bread...hunger trumps fear in my life. Hunger trumps a lot in my life...more than I would like to say. To make matters worse, it's not even REAL hunger...you know, the kind my three youngest kids have known. It's hunger based on past poor eating habits and gluttony. It's hunger from boredom...and it's hunger to avoid stress. But it still feels real, and I want to feed it. EVERY.SINGLE.DAY!

The enemy seems to tempt each person in their weakest area in ways that are unique to that person. Oswald Chambers says, " "A man's disposition on the inside, i.e., what he possesses in his personality, determines what he is tempted by on the outside. The temptation fits the nature of the one tempted, and reveals the possibilities of that nature. Every man has the setting of this own temptation, and the temptation will come along the line of the ruling disposition." Matthew 26:41 tells us to pray in order that we might combat temptation because "the spirit is willing but the body is weak." It appears to me that satan tempts me PERSONALLY in the areas where I am weakest....eating and exercise.

My biggest struggle right now (and the struggles seem to change as I obey the Father) is chocolate! Yep...chocolate! We do not have junk in our house but we do have dark chocolate chips that the girls use in baking ABC muffins. They are delicious yumminess in a dark brown bag. Every time I enter the kitchen (whether at 6 in the morning or 9 at night), I am tempted to eat them...every last one of them! If I eat a few, I will find myself going back in ten more minutes to eat a few more...and again and again and again.

I have NO will power....which is a good thing in that God will use His strength only to fight this battle. I have to take those tempting thoughts captive and drink a glass of water instead. There are days where I am totally winning this battle and days I am losing it BIG time!

I am still at my goal weight and exercise has been a constant around here. It's helpful to have the family on board when it comes to hitting the road for a run every day. But, I am still weak and easily tempted. I am frightened and scared that somehow I will slip up and fall back into old habits.

I must daily relinquish my will and desire and hopes and plans to the Father. I must decrease....my desires for chocolate included...so that He will increase!

Dear God - You know my heart. It is wicked above all else. I am a sinner unworthy of Your goodness or mercy or grace. I am humbled by Your love, and I am so grateful for Your sacrifice. You paid a debt You did not owe, and I am so thankful. You know that I struggle with eating and exercise. I have been gluttonous, prideful, lazy and mindless with eating and health and the welfare of my family. Thank you for forgiving me...I am overwhelmed by Your love in forgiving me. Please show me Your ways when it comes to chocolate...I want it desperately...and not just a little...I want it a lot. I cannot seem to eat just a little without going overboard. I cannot do this but You can. I am asking You to do what only You can do. May You receive all the glory. I will boast in my weaknesses and magnify You in Your work. I pray that You will use this struggle for Your glory and my good.

What's your temptation today? Where do you struggle? Am I the only one who thinks chocolate may be the death of me? Does anyone else dream or think about it this much?

A Family That Runs Together

In February of this year the oldest girls ran a 5K with us at Heardmont Park in Birmingham. I remember that JT actually ran the whole race and we walked quite a bit of it. I think our times were close to 40 minutes (JT's was more like 37). After finishing my first 5K (in a while) in December in 46 minutes, I was pleased with that! This is what we looked like afterwards (looks like JT is the only one who actually broke a sweat)!

With all of the mission trips this spring and summer, we have been unable to run another 5K together until now. It's fun to prepare for a race together and to know that we will all finish. So, this weekend we laced up our running shoes for the Kenya Relief 5K at Veteran's Park on Valleydale Road. And, we finished!

Our finish times were definitely better but not what we have been running lately or what we had hoped to run. JT finished in a little over 32 and I finished in a little over 33. The girls finished in 37.

We discovered a few things: (1) We did not like the course at Veteran's at all. It is more of a trail run with some points of sinking gravel. We are not used to that and it felt like we were in quicksand at times. Plus, there's a cliff at the end that wears a person out! (2) If there is a surprise start and you are NOT ready (e.g. your nike app is NOT ready to go), you might spend the first 1/4 of a mile trying to fix the situation and then be mentally off for the rest of the race! (3) If you help and encourage others to prepare but forget to do the preparations yourself, you will not be content with your finish.

With all of that on that the table, there were some HUGE blessings: (1) We ran with friends and family which is ALWAYS a plus. Why not build community while you exercise? Thanks to David, Courtney, Jeremy and Josh for making it bearable. (2) Madison was the only girl in her age group so she won. She got a medal, and we were all pretty excited about that! (3) Breakfast with just the older girls afterwards was amazingly special...we needed that time together!

We hope to run a 5K in September as well, and hopefully, our times will reflect our training! We will keep running for His glory and our good.

My Choices...What Do YOU Think?

Life happens...schedules change...special occasions come up...so, what do I do? I thought it might be a helpful idea to tell you a real-life situation that occurred this weekend. I'm not really sure how well I did, so I need some real-life input!

We had a family wedding in Georgia, so we all headed over on Thursday. (By the way, the wedding was spectacular...dreamy, in fact). We had NO idea what we would eat or what would be available, and I'm sure we should have planned better.

The rehearsal was Thursday night at 7:00 (that's one hour ahead of us). The rehearsal dinner was served at about 8:45. So, I planned ahead and fed all of us a protein bar and water prior to the rehearsal. With the three youngest kids still having food issues, we make sure to always have healthy food on hand to feed them (if you could see the look of utter fear in Z's eyes when the usual time of eating has passed, you would understand. He does not believe that he will get another meal yet...we are working on that.)

Rehearsal dinner included bread - I passed on that. Then, there was a salad with spinach, romaine, croutons, shredded carrots and Olive Garden salad dressing. I took the croutons off and ate the entire salad (probably a little too fast). Spaghetti with meat sauce was the main meal, and I about one half of the serving size (which I think equated to a typical serving size). There was homemade peach cobbler, apple pie and ice cream for dessert. I had a small serving of peach cobbler. In addition the toasts called for glass bottled sodas...what a cute idea! I helped the kids make their toasts (which were too numerous to count), so I didn't need to drink anything...I probably had 5 glasses of water!

For breakfast on Friday, we had the benefit of a great buffet at our hotel (can I just say that I HIGHLY recommend the Holiday Inn at Peachtree City in Georgia...awesome staff). I ate 2 scrambled eggs, yogurt (way too sweet for me), 2 pieces of bacon (we never have that at home), one packet of instant oatmeal, cantaloupe, water and hot green tea.

Lunch on Friday was at a local bread company. I choose a salad with chicken and lots of veggies. The dressing was on the side and I used about one-half of it. We also had a smoothie later that afternoon (a weight loss smoothie).

For dinner we met JT's aunt and uncle at a local restaurant. The menu at this place is HUGE...but there are plenty of healthy choices. So, I chose the chicken with mushrooms and peppers (sauteed in olive oil) and steamed broccoli. I drank 4 glasses of water and passed on bread and dessert.

Breakfast on Saturday was similar in that I ate eggs, blueberries, oatmeal and grapefruit. Water and hot green tea were the beverages of choice. Oh, and I also had another bowl of oatmeal at 6 (regular breakfast at 8) because the girls and I ran and walked 5.25 miles that morning. I have to eat a carb about one hour ahead of any runs longer than 4 miles. I think I drank almost 75% of my water intake for the day by 9 am.

Lunch on Saturday was a cup of chicken salad (the older girls and I were helping set up the reception, so that was our best option)....my sister in law made some AMAZING chicken salad (the kind with grapes, apples and pecans)....I wish I had eaten about 6 cups...but I got busy. I also had a protein bar and water. Afterwards I had a weight loss smoothie from Planet Smoothie.

Dinner was served at the wedding reception, and I knew there would be LOTS of choices...and I wanted EVERY ONE OF THEM!!! I chose one chicken salad sandwich, carrots, cantaloupe, grapes, a few squares of cheese, 2 meatballs and one small piece of cake. I joined the dance floor crowd to work off as many calories as possible. I drank about 6 glasses of water.

I feel pretty good about my choices but could have made several better ones along the way. I need your input....what should I have done differently????

Work to do...

What do you REALLY want? I mean, when it comes to your health and the health of your family...what do you really want? When I ponder that question, I narrow my desires to just a few things:

1. I want my physical body to be a testament to God's faithfulness and grace.
2. I want to honor the Lord with whatever I eat.
3. I want to honor the Lord with how I exercise and treat my body.
4. I strongly desire that my family is healthy...making healthy food choices, exercising and learning how to live in a way that brings God great glory.

But those things don't always happen. And why not? Because of ME! ME AND MY EXCUSES!!! Whenever my physical life (or spiritual life) does not honor the Lord, it is only because of ME and my SIN! I have come to realize that I am the problem...Me...only me!

If I want to be totally transparent, I could have a million excuses (well, that's not true...I might get to a hundred and just give up making excuses too). Here are my "go-to" excuses:

1. I don't have enough time. (I think we all agree that we all have 24 hours in a day and we choose to do the things that are most important to us. When's the last time you wet your pants or didn't brush your hair before going to the store or wore your pajamas to church? We DO what we want to do in most areas of our life.)
2. I have so many other things to do and this is just not a priority right now. (Of course, it's not a priority. God allows us the freedom to choose how to honor Him with our time. If we got tickets to a great football game, we would totally rearrange our schedule, hire a sitter and go to the game.)
3. I am scared (tired, angry, etc - Feelings always precede action or the lack thereof. Feelings will not determine if I do or do not do the right thing. We do not allow our children to hit just because they are angry or to pitch a fit because they are mad. Likewise, we as adults do not need to make decisions based on how we feel).
4. I'll do it later (NO, I won't! I'm just delaying saying that I am not doing it now).
5. I do not want to do it (Who does? Who wants to do something that can feel painful or like deprivation at times? Nobody. Who cares what I want...it's not about me!)

Every day I am full of excuses of why I don't want to eat right or exercise or teach my children how to make good choices. I have given and heard almost every excuse known to man. How about you? What's your excuse today?

I just recently saw a commercial advertising the newest "Extreme Weight Loss Makeover" (or something along those lines). The mom wants to change for herself and her family, but when she really begins the work, she is full of one excuse after another. She is adamant about her excuses. I wanted to blast her...then, I took a breath and realized that I am her. I am the same way.

Have the excuses gone away...nope. I still have them EVERY day, but I no longer allow excuses to dictate my behavior or my attitude or my desires. I LONG for the day when there will be no more excuses, but for now, I tell my sinful flesh to take a hike because there is work to be done for the Father.

Now, get busy people....there's more to do.

You are the teacher

Recently I heard a saying that made me stop and think: Children will not take care of themselves the way we take care of them; they will take care of themselves the way they see us, as their parents, take care of ourselves. Ummm...ouch!

This is true, as we all can attest. WE are the teachers of our children. We teach them to eat, to sleep, what to touch, manners, how to talk and so much more. They learn just as much from what we do as they do from what we do NOT do. They are always learning which means we are ALWAYS teaching. We came to a point where we had to look at what we were teaching...

We saw the results of our parenting in the areas of eating/exercise over eight months ago. Our children's eating habits, diet, lack of exercise, unhealthy choices were a DIRECT result of the lessons we had taught them. We were at fault...100%. There was no one else to blame. It was all of our doing.

When looking back at my own childhood, I have tried to remember and access the lessons I learned when it came to food and health. We ate from a garden but I don't recall learning the "whys" behind that. So, now we are training our children daily about why we eat what we eat.

Here are some basic steps we took to help us parent our children in the area of health in a way that would honor God:

1. Read passages from the Bible about food/health. Explain what God expects of us in regard to our bodies!
2. Make a menu for each week and stick to it. Our youngest three children still struggle with some control issues and knowing that we WILL eat is important to them. They know that there is always a menu on the refrigerator, and they can see what we will eat for every meal that week.
3. Snack smartly! In the back of our vehicles, we have a cheap plastic 4 drawer bin that is attached to the last seat with bungee cords. One drawer is always full of bottled water (think 2.99 for a 24 pack....when we see a sale, we pick up several cases) and another has healthy snacks in it (peanut butter packets, boxes of raisins, trail mix, nuts). Being on the road doesn't mean we HAVE to eat fast food or pull into a convenience store for junk. We can still make wise choices without spending lots of extra money because of our lack of planning!
4. Educate, educate, educate. We not only want our children to learn to make healthy choices but to understand the reasons behind their choices. They need to know what carbohydrates, proteins, fats, etc. are and why their bodies need them. They can learn to read labels and see what is truly important!
5. Model wise behaviors....this is SO hard! But, when my children see me at breakfast, they know that I've already run several miles. They see their daddy come in sweaty from a great workout. They KNOW when we go to the park that everyone will be doing something to exercise! You can tell them to "go outside and play" all day...but if you are not exercising, they will be less likely to exercise when they get older!
6. Pray together. Seek God and His wisdom on how you should eat. Let your children see that you are vulnerable and cannot do it alone. Depend on the Father and admit your failures to Him. Praise Him as He sustains and teaches you!

I hope that one day our children will look back at the last eight months of our lives and KNOW that we fought for their future. We have been desperately trying to teach them a new and better way to live for the Lord. We pray that God will remind their hearts of His Word and His commands about health.