After God laid the previous blog on my heart, I started asking Him to reveal hidden sin in my life. Sins that I had committed long ago but never confessed or asked forgiveness for. I was hoping for something from last week, maybe last month, and even last year. Keep in mind that I'm 40, and well, the memory is not as sharp as it used to be!
So God instantly takes me back to a moment in 8th grade. Seriously. My mind was overwhelmed by the details that emerged. I could still smell the smells of the gym and hear the sounds of the volleyball game. I could remember the noises and the feelings I was having. I recall a boy from my class, Greg, saying something to me that infuriated me. What he said I don't remember, and it doesn't matter in the least.
What did I do? I instantly made up some story about my uncle (I have NO clue where that fits into the equation...only that it was a huge lie). I relayed the story to Greg (and I'm sure added plenty of details to support the lie...which would have been more lies) and then proceeded to call him a name. I shall not repeat what I said, but I was shocked when I heard myself say it in my memory. I was ashamed, embarrassed and found guilty. I sat there with my memory and thanked God for bringing it back to me. That had been at least 28 years ago. But I remembered most of it like it was yesterday.
Now, what do I do with that God? God told me to ask for forgiveness. It wasn't as hard as you might think to reconnect with Greg as we are friends on Facebook. So, I took a deep breath and sent him a detailed message. I didn't know if he would even remember or care...but that was not the purpose. I laid out the event, what I did and took ownership of my sin. What I did had nothing to do with anyone else but me. My flesh sinned...I sinned...I was guilty. I owned what I did and took full responsibility. I confessed and asked for his forgiveness. I waited...
I didn't have to wait long as I saw a message from Greg in my inbox. He DID remember the event, and he forgave me freely. We both rejoiced in God's goodness and forgiveness of us as sinners. Relief...sweet forgiveness! What a blessing and gift from the Lord to His children.
I'm still asking God to bring those past sins to my mind...what does He keep doing? Taking me back to high school! That's funny as I don't remember much of my life from those days. But, He does. So, I'll be writing another message today and asking for forgiveness. No excuses. No blaming. Just taking my own sins and making them known. Humbling myself for His glory!
Take some time today and ask God to show you places where you need to repent, confess, ask for forgiveness and make amends. What a blessing you will receive in the process!
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1 comment:
Sheryl - I love your transparency and your willingness to obey the Lord. God truly made you special and I am so very blessed that He allowed you to come into our family and be my "other daughter." I love you! Mom
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