Monday, January 31, 2011

Sin and Gratitude


Zeke strolling with his Poppa to the engineer's guesthouse.

Zeke climbing in a mango tree at the guesthouse. (Kaitlyn is the eye behind most of these pictures!)
Sweet smile!

A great contrast to the sad eyes we first witnessed.

Elly contemplating while we are at the engineer's house for tea.

I am reminded today of the way I hang on tightly to preferences….we all do I’m afraid. I find comfort in them, and I desire them way more than I would like to admit. God often reveals the sinfulness and darkness of my heart when I am away from home. This time is no different. I miss the comforts of home and began to want them….sometimes I want them more than I want the holiness of the Father. I am ashamed to admit my weaknesses…it is painful. But, it is real.

So I see the sin and spend time thanking God for the things I often take for granted:

· Clean water

· Water that is reliable and is a “given” every day at home

· Electricity

· Hot showers/baths

· Scrambled eggs

· A hot breakfast every day

· Books

· Mail

· Phone calls

· Couches and recliners

· A family dining room where we all gather to eat.

· Cold milk

· Grapes and cantaloupe

· School

· Our home church, The Church at Brook Hills

· The English language

· Refrigeration

· Toilet paper

· Garbage cans

· Friends!

I’m sure the list could go on and on! What are you thankful for today?

We worshiped this morning with our fellows brothers and sisters in Christ in the church at Jgogo. It was a great time of singing, dancing, praying and learning together. If every Sunday was like that, I would lose 50 lbs easily…. I want to say that it reminded me how thankful I am for the amount of time and prayer our worship gathering staff (Jim Watkins and crew) spend each week to prepare for our corporate time together. We missed being with our faith family today but also saw God move in powerful ways here.

Zeke and Elly have both had a better day today. We have had few episodes but they did well in church. JT will have to tell the story of meeting Zeke’s birth father today….that is his story to weave….

Please pray for our friends, Barry and Joy Coffee and Andrew and Lora Lynn Fanning, who will be flying to Uganda tomorrow. We will pick them up at the airport on Tuesday. We are so excited that God has blessed us with their friendship!

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Not Always Picture Perfect...

The best big brother...enjoying having a boy playmate!

Peaceful sleep - this comes during naptime and after a terror grieving fit.
We have already spent quite a lot of time in the yard playing ball and running!



The home of our hosts, Peter and Phoebe Sozi, in Kampala.


When I write these posts, I tend to think of updating family and friends on where we are in the process. At the same time, this is a journal for our children to read later in life. And, it is for those who will follow the road of adoption one day. So, in light of all of these, I tend to think of anything that would be an encouragement to those reading it....but today, that is hard.

We have had numerous "fits" today and let me explain what I mean by that. It is a kicking, screaming, crying episode that lasts 10-30 minutes each time. Think of a 2 year old tantrum grounded in grief. What do Zeke and Elly have to grieve? A lot! They have both been neglected, abandoned and hurt by the people who are closest to them. But, now they are in a home with people they don't know who talk a language they don't know. Everything is new and scary. So, when they have a fit, we hold them and whisper "I love you, and I will always love you. God loves you more." They cry and cry and cry.

Today was a day with at least 10 fits between the two of them...and of course, they don't time them to be together.....(just like their nap times). So, it is draining and exhausting. It is hard and painful. But, with God's grace, we endure.

So, it's not always picture perfect, but it IS God's design for our family. He is teaching me so much about grace, mercy and love. I am thankful for the pain, and I know that there is growth in the process. There are moments when I think I can't take it anymore (and then I realize this is just the beginning), and I cling to the cross of Christ.

Please continue to pray for us. Your posts have been a blessing beyond measure here, and they help to keep me going! We love you all!

Friday, January 28, 2011

God heals the broken heart....


Every girl wants a hat, right? She had to get creative with the game markers.

This was the beginning of a smile. Many more came today!


The laugh is hysterical. It is contagious!

There it is...God's abundant grace in action!

God alone can heal. He is the Great Healer, and He uses pain and suffering in our lives to bring glory to Himself. He is worthy of all praise, and so anything good we share is from Him.

Today's post is about Elly...our sweet Ellyson Faith. Sometime in her little 2 years and 4 months, she has been hurt, abandoned and neglected. She went without food, water, clothing and shelter. She has been harmed in ways I do not know and may not know for a long time. So, God entrusted her tiny heart to our family. I am honored and privileged with that gift. At the same time, I am scared beyond measure. What will this journey be like?

I got a glimpse today....I watched in agony as she pitched a great fit...kicking, screaming and crying...I held her until she stopped. I just kept rocking her and telling her that I loved her. God knows that patience is not my forte, and He grants me just what I need for the time I need it.

In spite of the tearful episodes, God allowed us to see Elly smile and laugh a lot today. She would bust out laughing at the oddest times, but it was a delight. Yesterday, she smiled a few times but it was so rare that we got no pictures. But, today was different...thank you Lord for such a sweet present to us!

On the legal end, we discovered that we will be in court on either Tuesday or Wednesday. Pray for everything to go well and that our petition would be granted without any delay. We are so grateful for all the prayers!

Thursday, January 27, 2011

A Day Full of Firsts....


Although this is Zeke's pouty face, this is just one of the faces he makes for the camera. He is already a ham.

This is Zeke's face most of the day!
Elly playing ball for the first time. It was right after this that she smiled for the first time!
Kaitlyn and Elly waiting to leave. Both kids love to have their cups nearby...must be strange to get clean water whenever you want it.

Today, we awoke as a family of 7. There were many firsts today, and the top of the list is my favorite:

· When Elly came down the stairs this morning, she looked around the living room at everyone (there were about 7 of us waiting) and came straight to me. My heart….it was a mess.

· After breakfast both children had their teeth brushed for the first time. I would brush my teeth, and then brush each of theirs. They did exceptionally well at spitting…..

· Zeke went to the potty exactly 28 times today (and only 3 of those were outside). He is definitely not used to drinking this much water, AND he is very fond of watching the toilet flush.

· Zeke ate a cucumber….not his favorite. The boy can eat so we have to watch how much he eats. But, never fear…veggies are not his favorite.

· Elly tried everything offered to her but LOVES mango!

· Zeke would eat a horse and a cow if they were offered to him.

· Elly colored today…she prefers plain paper and just marks all over it. She likes the idea of putting a colored pencil in the hole of a notebook and watching it stand up.

· Zeke can follow simple directions in Luganlish (that’s Lugandan and English). For example, I said “Awile water?” and he went to get his water.

· Zeke knows everyone’s name and likes to repeat anything we say (today, I overheard Jett teaching him words like t-rex, facetious and awesome).

· Elly smiled several times today. I wish we had gotten this precious gift on camera but they are few and far between. But, they existed today, and that was God’s healing beginning in her heart.

· They both slept on a mattress last night.

· Both had baths today…(thank you April Holloway for your excellent product advice). Elly LOVED it and Zeke screamed throughout his…apparently, he wanted cold water…go figure.

I could go on and on…but needless to say, there are also some difficult things that we are walking through. Both of these children have painful memories and struggles. We have to love them through every bit of that. And, it is NOT easy. Adoption can be painful and isolating and lonely. But, I am so grateful for all of the emails, notes and phone calls we have gotten over the past few days. We feel so loved and surrounded by a community of support.

For those of you who are about to adopt, know that sometimes you have to cocoon your family in order to deal with attachment issues as well as emotional trauma. It is hurtful and time consuming. Many will not understand. It is a struggle…. But, God Himself has a hand in all of the pain. He works in and through it both in the children's lives and in our lives. His handiwork is a beautiful tapestry of grace and mercy.

I am in awe of the way He has worked out the details of this adoption. Please continue to pray for all of the legal matters to fall into place quickly. We love Africa, but we love our home too. And, we want our children to settle into our home soon. Pray for a quick legal process and a transition that honors Christ.

PS We were able to Skype with JT's mom last night while Zeke was still awake fighting sleep (Elly had just fallen asleep). Zeke thought it was funny to see his "Meemaw" on the computer. He even said her name, told her he loved her and would see her soon.

Please do pray for the kids' sleep patterns. They are used to sleeping whenever they are bored and late at night. They have a hard time sleeping in such a new environment.

Pics We Promised...









Here are the pictures we promised you from yesterday......

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

His Plan...

We’ve come to Africa with little to no plan. For those who really know me, you know this is HUGE. We have surrendered all of our preconceived notions and dreams and ideas about how any of this should go. We don’t even have a court date, had no idea when we would see our children, didn’t know if our new children would get to see us very much, etc, etc, etc. We just know that God has called us to adopt from Uganda, and we are following no matter what obstacles, trials or delays there are in the process. We will press on in Christ Jesus.

This morning Peter asked if we wanted to see either or both of the children today. Our hearts rejoiced at the possibility. Little did we know… We traveled almost 30 minutes away down the dirt roads of Uganda. Imagine skiing on moguls without any snow…cue the car sickness. Upon arriving at the church in Jjogo, a small choir was heard practicing on stage. Children were running around pointing at us, and we waited. It seemed like an eternity but was probably closer to 45 minutes. Then, without pomp or circumstance, Zeke came through the doors. He came walking toward us and then stopped. He shook his head and began backing up. Then, he tried again. Still again, he backed up and headed out the door. He was scared. We were scared for him. After much coaxing from Peter, he went outside and calmed down. We all decided to go to his home to meet his family.

This decision came quickly but not lightly. We never met Jett’s biological family, so we were not prepared for this encounter. Zeke had never ridden in a vehicle, so he was scared of that too but seemed eager to give it a try. Only when Jett persuaded him to come did he decide to go. He sat in the front seat in my lap…I relished every second of it. For the first time, he felt air conditioning. He laughed and kept trying to feel it again. We continued to drive with our guide in the car and came upon a 2 room (each room was maybe 8 x 6) house. No electricity, no running water….this was his home. We had the privilege of meeting his birth father, grandmother and half-sisters. God allowed us some sweet time of asking questions and hearing about Zeke’s life. We felt honored. Peter asked the family how soon they wanted us to take him so he could adjust to us. “Today would be good,” said the grandmother, and she wasn’t kidding. Ummmm…..okay, Lord, we’re all in on this one. So, with that we were off as a family of 6.

Then, we proceeded to go to the church at the farm about 20 minutes away. We stood with Zeke in our arms and watched as a young mom came toward us with Elly by her side. After quick introductions, the mom gave Elly to me. Elly didn’t cry or fight. She just clung to me. I have to words for that moment except utter joy. God’s grace was all over this encounter. Elly clung to me the entire time and kept trying to get closer and closer.

When we were getting ready to leave, Peter said that Elly was going with us too…What? Are you serious? We didn’t plan for any of this. We had no idea. We didn’t even know when we would get to see them or how often. Now, we are leaving as a family of 7. God, you alone get the praise and glory and honor for how this has been orchestrated. Before time began you had this day in mind. You planned for our family to be together, and Your promise was fulfilled. Your plans will not be thwarted.

As we sat around in the Sozi living room tonight for family worship, a small part of me longed for friends to sing “Bwe tusaba” on a Sunday afternoon. But, God reminded me of His plan and not mine! Tonight, we have two more children asleep. Tonight, I cry tears of joy for His plan. Thank you Lord that Your ways, Your thoughts and Your plan are all higher. I rejoice in You!

We’ve come to Africa with little to no plan. For those who really know me, you know this is HUGE. We have surrendered all of our preconceived notions and dreams and ideas about how any of this should go. We don’t even have a court date, had no idea when we would see our children, didn’t know if our new children would get to see us very much, etc, etc, etc. We just know that God has called us to adopt from Uganda, and we are following no matter what obstacles, trials or delays there are in the process. We will press on in Christ Jesus.

This morning Peter asked if we wanted to see either or both of the children today. Our hearts rejoiced at the possibility. Little did we know… We traveled almost 30 minutes away down the dirt roads of Uganda. Imagine skiing on moguls without any snow…cue the car sickness. Upon arriving at the church in Jjogo, a small choir was heard practicing on stage. Children were running around pointing at us, and we waited. It seemed like an eternity but was probably closer to 45 minutes. Then, without pomp or circumstance, Zeke came through the doors. He came walking toward us and then stopped. He shook his head and began backing up. Then, he tried again. Still again, he backed up and headed out the door. He was scared. We were scared for him. After much coaxing from Peter, he went outside and calmed down. We all decided to go to his home to meet his family.

This decision came quickly but not lightly. We never met Jett’s biological family, so we were not prepared for this encounter. Zeke had never ridden in a vehicle, so he was scared of that too but seemed eager to give it a try. Only when Jett persuaded him to come did he decide to go. He sat in the front seat in my lap…I relished every second of it. For the first time, he felt air conditioning. He laughed and kept trying to feel it again. We continued to drive with our guide in the car and came upon a 2 room (each room was maybe 8 x 6) house. No electricity, no running water….this was his home. We had the privilege of meeting his birth father, grandmother and half-sisters. God allowed us some sweet time of asking questions and hearing about Zeke’s life. We felt honored. Peter asked the family how soon they wanted us to take him so he could adjust to us. “Today would be good,” said the grandmother, and she wasn’t kidding. Ummmm…..okay, Lord, we’re all in on this one. So, with that we were off as a family of 6.

Then, we proceeded to go to the church at the farm about 20 minutes away. We stood with Zeke in our arms and watched as a young mom came toward us with Elly by her side. After quick introductions, the mom gave Elly to me. Elly didn’t cry or fight. She just clung to me. I have to words for that moment except utter joy. God’s grace was all over this encounter. Elly clung to me the entire time and kept trying to get closer and closer.

When we were getting ready to leave, Peter said that Elly was going with us too…What? Are you serious? We didn’t plan for any of this. We had no idea. We didn’t even know when we would get to see them or how often. Now, we are leaving as a family of 7. God, you alone get the praise and glory and honor for how this has been orchestrated. Before time began you had this day in mind. You planned for our family to be together, and Your promise was fulfilled. Your plans will not be thrwarted.

As we sat around in the Sozi living room tonight for family worship, a small part of me longed for friends to sing “Bwe tusaba” on a Sunday afternoon. But, God reminded me of His plan and not mine! Tonight, we have two more children asleep. Tonight, I cry tears of joy for His plan. Thank you Lord that Your ways, Your thoughts and Your plan are all higher. I rejoice in You!


PS Kaitlyn is already asleep for the evening so pictures will be posted tomorrow!!!