Monday, September 3, 2012

I have an enemy, and his name is ....

Chocolate. Yep, chocolate. More specifically, Hershey’s dark chocolate chips. And, he comes dressed in a brown bag with beautiful writing on it. He tempts my soul.

In Matthew 4 satan tempts Jesus in various ways. I can say that I would have been the most tempted by the bread...hunger trumps fear in my life. Hunger trumps a lot in my life...more than I would like to say. To make matters worse, it's not even REAL know, the kind my three youngest kids have known. It's hunger based on past poor eating habits and gluttony. It's hunger from boredom...and it's hunger to avoid stress. But it still feels real, and I want to feed it. EVERY.SINGLE.DAY!

The enemy seems to tempt each person in their weakest area in ways that are unique to that person. Oswald Chambers says, " "A man's disposition on the inside, i.e., what he possesses in his personality, determines what he is tempted by on the outside. The temptation fits the nature of the one tempted, and reveals the possibilities of that nature. Every man has the setting of this own temptation, and the temptation will come along the line of the ruling disposition." Matthew 26:41 tells us to pray in order that we might combat temptation because "the spirit is willing but the body is weak." It appears to me that satan tempts me PERSONALLY in the areas where I am weakest....eating and exercise.

My biggest struggle right now (and the struggles seem to change as I obey the Father) is chocolate! Yep...chocolate! We do not have junk in our house but we do have dark chocolate chips that the girls use in baking ABC muffins. They are delicious yumminess in a dark brown bag. Every time I enter the kitchen (whether at 6 in the morning or 9 at night), I am tempted to eat them...every last one of them! If I eat a few, I will find myself going back in ten more minutes to eat a few more...and again and again and again.

I have NO will power....which is a good thing in that God will use His strength only to fight this battle. I have to take those tempting thoughts captive and drink a glass of water instead. There are days where I am totally winning this battle and days I am losing it BIG time!

I am still at my goal weight and exercise has been a constant around here. It's helpful to have the family on board when it comes to hitting the road for a run every day. But, I am still weak and easily tempted. I am frightened and scared that somehow I will slip up and fall back into old habits.

I must daily relinquish my will and desire and hopes and plans to the Father. I must desires for chocolate that He will increase!

Dear God - You know my heart. It is wicked above all else. I am a sinner unworthy of Your goodness or mercy or grace. I am humbled by Your love, and I am so grateful for Your sacrifice. You paid a debt You did not owe, and I am so thankful. You know that I struggle with eating and exercise. I have been gluttonous, prideful, lazy and mindless with eating and health and the welfare of my family. Thank you for forgiving me...I am overwhelmed by Your love in forgiving me. Please show me Your ways when it comes to chocolate...I want it desperately...and not just a little...I want it a lot. I cannot seem to eat just a little without going overboard. I cannot do this but You can. I am asking You to do what only You can do. May You receive all the glory. I will boast in my weaknesses and magnify You in Your work. I pray that You will use this struggle for Your glory and my good.

What's your temptation today? Where do you struggle? Am I the only one who thinks chocolate may be the death of me? Does anyone else dream or think about it this much?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

thank you for sharingwith us all. God is faithful and you are leading so many others to victory.
Thank you
Donna Brown