Tuesday, July 19, 2011

I can't title this one...

Seriously, I can't title this post. My initial thoughts were something along these lines:

I don't know you, but I don't like you
How could you have done it?
If JT gets a hold of you, he'd go to prison
I don't know your name but you are about to know mine

So, none of those sound very appealing or Christ-honoring so I think I'll leave it untitled.

Since the very day we saw Ellyson Faith for the first time, my heart has been walking around in a 3 year old body. She was, at first, very quiet and timid. She was fearful of all men and didn't want anything to do with JT. But, over the course of time, God has renewed her trust and security. She loves her Poppa and knows that he will take care of her. He will fight for her and protect her.

We have seen DRASTIC changes in our sweet Elly over the past six months. She went from very quiet to very talkative. We've even asked her to be quiet for just five minutes..... She is vocal. She is now a story-teller. Every story starts and ends with "You mem-ber?" (you remember?). Elly is a vivacious and energetic child with a vivid imagination. She loves life. She smiles constantly and entertains at the drop of a hat. She breaks out in song everywhere we go (she especially has a fondness for singing Jesus Loves Me really loud in the grocery store). When Elly is awake, she is a CHANGED child. But, when she sleeps...that is a different story.

Past memories of pain and hurt are still emerging during sleeptime at night (we don't see this during nap time) for Elly. At first, she was sleeping in the girls' room on a trundle between their beds. However, she was waking them up 5-6 times a night with screaming and groaning. So, she sleeps in our room on a cot with all of her pink blankets and absolutely no pillow.

When she sleeps, she wakes up at least 3-4 times a night with nightmares. Sometimes, she screams out names and hollers, "No!" Sometimes, she just cries and groans. Without going into any detail, it's pretty obvious where the pain is coming from...memories of things done to her. It makes my heart ache and cry. It makes me angry and confused. I want to take the pain away (and to take the pain-maker OUT of this life). But, my God is bigger than my feelings and my desires. He is bigger than Elly's pain and memories. He is bigger than the nightmares.

I'm reminded of Daniel 3 in God's Word. As Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego stood before King Nebuchadnezzar, they proclaimed that they would NOT bow down to idols. We will not be consumed with fear or anger by these nightmares. They will NOT control our lives.

The same men told of the greatness of God: "We do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us." I believe with all of my being that our God can deliver Elly from these nightmares, and He can heal her!

Verse 18 is my personal favorite..."BUT EVEN IF HE DOES NOT, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we WILL not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up." EVEN IF GOD DOES NOT DELIVER Elly from these nightmares, we will worship Him and Him alone. He is worthy of all praise. If He chooses to use these nightmares for His glory, then let it be. However He chooses to use this pain to bring glory to Himself in Elly's life and our lives, we submit to His plan. He is abundantly worthy to receive all of the glory and honor and praise forever. Amen.


Brenda said...

I will pray that Elly's mind and heart are completely washed and cleansed of any those memories and that all she can remember, is her good times in the Turner household!

Brooke said...

That's powerful, Sheryl. Even if He does not ... that's when the truth comes out, isn't it? Praying for your sweet Elly and the rest of your family!

Joy said...

Sheryl,I am praying for you all as you care for Elly; praying for strong, sweet memories to overpower the darkness; for wisdom to know what to do/say in the moments of terror; for peace in each of your hearts. You have rescued this little one and our own Rescuer sees and knows your hearts.

Amy said...

I am praying for that precious girl and for her amazing parents too. Have you heard Shane and Shane's "Burn Us Up"? I sing it at the top of my lungs. Now it will remind me of your faithfulness too. <3

Anonymous said...

Thank you, Sheryl I am sending this to a dear one who is as close to my heart as Elly is to yours. Thank you, abundantly! - Carol

Jessemyn said...

How I identify with this post! We adopted our precious daughter Mia 3 years ago this September and she STILL battles nightmares. The multiple nightmares per night are now down to once in awhile. We are in what I call "transition" where she still wakes up often at night, but instead of screaming, she comes to find me for a hug, to be reassured, and to be tucked back into bed. Still exhausting, but I praise God that He is healing her heart one night at a time. To God be the glory!