I WANNA QUIT!

"I wanna quit!!" That's the theme of my life some days. I think I get easily caught up in my own little world which seems to magnify EVERYTHING. Raising five kids, three of whom are adopted and have a whole 'nother set of issues, the role of wife to a man who is out of town regularly, trying to eat healthy and exercise every day, homeschooling two kindergarteners, a third grader, an 8th grader and a 10th grader, daily quiet time with the Lord, managing all of our schedules, soccer, co-op, races, discipleship opportunities, time with friends, and oh, managing the ministry administrative side....it just gets a little much some days, you know?

Recently our family had the opportunity to go to Disney World where we had a blast...I wouldn't say it was restful...but it was good. I have to honestly say that it was the most fun watching Zeke...after EVERY single ride, restaurant, show, parade..he would squeal with delight. I saw several Disney cast members laugh because of his reaction. I think this picture sums it up...and it makes me laugh daily.

While we were so grateful for the time away, we had to face the reality of coming back home. And getting back into the swing of healthy eating (we ate about 80% healthy at WDW) and exercise (we did exercise there too) has been HARD! I wanna quit...every day!

So, whoever said this gets easier...YOU LIED! It is still a mental battle that I must surrender to the Lord every moment. This past Saturday I ran with JT and Madison who are both training for a half-marathon in November. They are ahead of me on training but I've been running on their long runs on Saturday anyway. Hey, who knows, maybe I'll just run that half-marathon with them at this point? I should if I'm training...or that's my thought at this moment...I'm sure that could change at any given moment. Anyway, back to the story. They were supposed to run 8.3 miles which would be the furtherest I've run (and them too) but I had agreed to go 7.5 because I had to take our oldest daughter to a birthday outing.

The first 3 miles were difficult and my body and mind kept screaming, "I wanna quit!" But once I get settled into the rhythm and focus my mind on God, I just keeping running. I am so grateful that the Lord is using the time to tame my mental laziness and turn my attention to His great name!

So, on Sunday we agreed to participate in an adventure race for Sozo Children (they work in Uganda...check it out..pretty cool stuff). We had never been in an adventure race and didn't know what to expect. Naïvely I thought that there would be a short obstacle every mile or so for 3 miles...I was WRONG. There were a dozen or so obstacles and most involved mud and water. The picture below is not a clear picture as we had to swim across a small part of a lake at the end which washed all of the mud off! But, looking back, it was fun....and I would do it again.

Just this morning I did NOT want to run. But the air was cool (thank you Lord) and crisp, and so I headed out. I spent the whole first mile (that's ten minutes) telling the Lord why I wanted to quit and justifying quitting at any given second. God gently reminded me that I need to spend that time praying and to stop complaining. So, I mentally recall the prayer list that He has given me.....

I think of friends waiting for their travel dates to China to meet their new children and a friend who is waiting for a double lung transplant and missionaries in Guatemala and a child who will forever be in a wheelchair yet praises the Lord and friends battling cancer and a friend who will marry off her daughter soon and friends who have children in college now or grandchildren and a friend battling an autoimmune deficiency and another who is battling an addiction and so many more. God is so good to take my mind off of me...and to place it on Him.

And now I can officially say that I am NOT a quitter. I am in this for the long haul. It is a lifestyle and not a quick fix. I am most looking forward to the half marathon in February because God has given me 53 people to pray for..that's someone every 1/4 mile (and one for the last tenth)...and I will need EVERY one of them. I will write their initials on my forearms and intercede.... I might miss a few princesses along the way..but my attention will be heavenward. I seek nothing less.