Scared stiff

Scared...frightened...nervous...anxious. That's where I am today. And, don't you know that, in the sermon yesterday, Jim Shaddix said "Do you spend as much time in prayer" as you do being concerned about other things?...uuggh, why does he speak truth? I needed to hear that.

After surgery that required total bed rest for a week and a seriously adjusted schedule for a month, I began training for the half-marathon on August 1st. I set up a gorgeous spreadsheet with a plan for each day as well as goals for the weeks. The plan was to color code each day for reminders...yellow if I didn't do what I planned, green for everything went according to plan and blue if something extra happened or I went longer/faster. The chart is a beautiful thing.

I can look back and see many green days...a few yellows...and more than a few blues. It is a good thing. Remembering is critical for me. It is essential in the Bible as well. How many times does God tell the Israelites to "remember" where they came from and how He directed and preserved them? In Deuteronomy 6, God reminds them that He is the One who brought them out of Egypt. How could they forget?

God Himself remembers His covenant and promises in Exodus, Leviticus, Deuteronomy and 1 Chronicles. God reminds His people to remember Him and what He has done, and He remembers His people and His faithfulness to them. In saying that, I know that God calls me to remember as well.

Remember...

God has been faithful despite my faithlessness (2 Timothy 2:13)
God has called me to honor Him with my body (1 Corinthians 6:19-20)
God has transformed my mind to focus on His ways and His will (Romans 12:1)
God has allowed me to forget many old habits so that new habits have emerged and redirect my thoughts to Him alone (Phil. 3:13)

So, as I approach this week (it's been one year to the date this weekend), and I realize that I will celebrate by finishing a half-marathon, I am scared silly. But, God is gracious to calm me as He tells me to remember...remember where I was one year ago...remember the early lessons....the tears...the anger...the repentance...the forgiveness..the second chance at life. I will choose to rest in Him and remember today.