The temperatures are in the 30's in the early morning hours, and it's dark outside. But, God has shown me that it is the best time for me to attempt to run. So, I try. Lest you get any ideas of how graceful I am and how easy it comes to me, here's the conversation God and I had yesterday:
me - Lord, I cannot keep running. I want to give up now.
Him - Keep running. I'll sustain you.
me - (crying and talking aloud) I am telling you I can't.
Him - No you can't. But I can. I am powerful and I am OVER you, your body and your mind.
me - Lord I know...but my body doesn't seem to get the message.
Him - you are still relying on your own strength. Rely on me.
me - (walking now) What do you mean? I cannot do this without You. You started this.
Him - no, YOU started this. These are your consequences, remember?
me - Yes Lord...I did start this by making wrong choices so many times. I repent of my gluttony, laziness, pride and negligence. I have clearly sinned against you. Lord, I confess my sins and give them to you. Please forgive me. Show me how to honor you in what I eat and how I live.
Him - Stop stepping on the scale.
me - Um, what?
Him - you heard me. You are relying on that scale for your success instead of relying on me. You are using that scale to measure your obedience...use my Word. Are you doing what I've commanded you to do?
me - Yes Lord, I am. It's really, really hard. But You know that I am obeying You.
Him - Then put up the scale until I tell you to get it back out. Tell JT to hide it from you.
me - Yes Lord. I trust You.
This is hard...really hard. I have had success in relying on God's Word to show me my sin in relation to eating and exercise. I have obeyed what He has shown me to do. I am seeing progress. I've lost 33 lbs. I've run at least half of a 5K and am signed up for another one in March. But, that is NOT enough. I must stop looking at the scale for affirmation of God's plan at work in my life and look to Him alone.
JT hid the scale...I have no idea where it is...and I am NOT looking. If you see me at a place where there is a scale accessible, please help a sister out...hide the scale people, hide the scale.
3 comments:
How did you get in my head? Katrina
Sheryl- what an inspiration this has been. I was having a similar conversation with God before I read this. I'm sitting on a spin bike and I keep telling God I can't do it. My joints hurt. I don't want toess my ankle up anymore - it's just starting to get worked out again. And then I read your post. Thank you for allowing the Lord to use you through sharing this. And hiding the scale helps. I started that a few weeks ago. Have I lost no- but I'm not depressed all te time about my weight.
Katrina - that's what I accused the author of Made to Crave of doing to me...getting in my head. I swear she should be charged with trespassing.
Amy, oh I hear you! When my body starts hurting, I literally say aloud, "You will NOT be telling me what to do. I will tell you what to do." You can do this with His strength!
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