Sunday, February 5, 2012

Loving God More.

It's only been ten weeks since our lives have been turned upside down by the conviction of the Holy Spirit. Can I say that it feels like an eternity? Why do I think that I can lose this weight and the unhealthy habits in lightning speed when it took me 42 (almost) years to get here? Why do I expect to be 2 lbs lighter each day when I put on this added weight over the past 15 years? Uuggh....I realize that I don't want to deal with the consequences of the sin in my life. I would like those consequences to go away or be less severe or painful. Can't I choose my consequences? Yes I can...and I did. Each gluttonous act, every denial of discipline, and all of my lazy tendencies led to these consequences. I chose this. I sinned, and these are my consequences.

But, fear not! It is not all gloom and doom. In fact, there has been a great deal of victorious moments in the last 70 days. God has recently led me to a book called Made To Crave by Lysa Terkeurst (thank you Amanda Mc for that recommendation). I have told many of my friends that I do NOT like this book...I don't know this Lysa character, but apparently she has been stalking me for years. She has been a fly on the wall of my home and my heart. She has invaded my private thoughts and my desires. It is unbelievable. I have never read a book that has convicted more (with the exception of the Bible). It points straight to me and my sin. I sure wish she would have given credit to my life as obviously it is about me.... In all seriousness, I have finally felt like I am not alone. Lysa verbalizes everything I have felt and done in regard to eating for most of my life.

The most convicting part of this book was this statements, "I rely on and love food more than I rely on and love God." Me too. Me too. Me too. I have loved food more than I have loved God. But, that is no longer. I submit willingly to these consequences and have allowed the Holy Spirit free reign over this once hidden part of my life. Tell me what to eat, when to eat and how/when/where to exercise. And, He has!

In addition, the Holy Spirit has prompted me to share my story with a group of people that holds me accountable. God led me to a group of friends/family who are as varied as you can imagine. They range from a stay at home mom to a homeschooling mom to a software engineer to a grad student to an accountant and more...I am close to some and am growing closer to others. God assembled this group for challenge me. They can ask me what I am eating and when I am exercising. They are the accountability God desires in my life in this area. I am inspired and spurred on by them!

Just yesterday we (JT, Kaitlyn, Madison and I) ran a 5K. When I say "ran," JT ran the whole time. I ran half of it. When I participated in my last 5K 6 weeks ago, I ran maybe 1/2 mile at the most. So, I'm improving. We are signing up for another race in March. With God's sustaining grace, we are aiming for a 1/2 marathon in November. To God alone be the glory!

Thank you all for running this race with me! May God be glorified in all that I say and do whether in teaching or studying or eating or exercising!


Brenda said...

That Amanda M can sure recommend some good books! Congratulations on each battle you win each day...and happy birthday. Don't you love your cake! Not one bit fattening or unhealthy.

Anonymous said...

You all are an encouragement to many in so many ways...

Blessings on this part of your journey.


Brad and Carrie said...

Way to go! Those are huge victorious steps!