Monday, May 14, 2012

One Thousand Excuses

Oh YES, I get up and WANT to run EVERY SINGLE body desires it, and my mind LOVES it... Okay, that's not the truth. Let's try again. I wake up and think about exercise and how good it is for my body and how I should just get out of bed and hit the road running. Nope, that's not the case either. One more time... I meander out of bed, wander into the bathroom, look myself in the mirror and beg myself to find one good and sane reason NOT to exercise. Yep, that's it. It is a daily chore, my friends. I fight the battle daily.

The battle looks something like this:

I open my eyes and think about the million things I have to do today.

I go to the bathroom for morning pleasantries and try to find a good reason NOT to do some of the things on my list.

Picking up my Bible, commentary and computer (for one of my favorite commentaries) I trudge into the kitchen and set it all down beside my quiet time chair.

I drink 8 oz of warm lemon water (if that's not enough to make you gag and want to return to bed, I don't know what is).

I spend time with the Lord in His Word (amazing how the excuses tend NOT to come during this time).

Tying my shoes leads to the debate in my head of how far I should go...a 5K? Further or less? Walk some of it or run all of it?

I grab the iphone, headphones and armband off my desk and hope that there is a good weather excuse not to run. At the same time if I see the sun up, I realize that I'm running late and may have to cut my run short.

Stretching beside my desk gives me another 10 minutes to back out of this plan and just answer emails or go take a shower...or just enjoy the quiet of the morning. Why am I doing this? Do I HAVE to do this?

I head out the door and begin walking up my driveway....uuggh, I do NOT want to do this. Haven't I lost enough already? How long will this battle last? Lord, please remove this struggle from me!

Walking toward the neighbor's mailbox, I convince myself that I don't have to run until I get to the stop sign..what's a few more feet anyway?

Oh, there's the feet don't listen to my head and begin running anyway...God designed the body to follow His plan and not mine.

I run 1/4 of a mile and the enemy whispers sweet nothings in my ear so that I will stop and just walk for a while. You've run over five miles straight don't have to prove anything to anyone...just'll be fine.

I keep running but I want to stop with every step.

Oh, I'm almost to 1/2 mile and NO ONE is anywhere around at this time of morning...can't I just walk now. God prods me the first mile.

I plant my right foot to stop but God keeps me from stopping and the running continues...trying to beat that 1 mile time is a good idea. Then I'll walk.

On and on the excuses continue until about mile 2 when I call out to God to sustain me. He always answers me the same way (or has so far)..."Who do you think has sustained you this far?" He holds the breath of every living creature in His hand, and He is sovereign over my life and my death. Nothing takes Him by surprise and He is familiar with my excuses...He knows my heart. Yet, He remains faithful to me in spite of who I am. He forgives, He teaches and He loves me every step of the way.

Lest any of you thinks that I get up ready to run with little effort and a willing heart every day, I hope you know that I am FULL of excuses every morning. One thousand of them. They are ugly. They are not Christ-honoring. They are lame. They are me. I am ashamed to admit that my brain doesn't often follow what I know to be true or right. It is a daily battle.

But it is a fight I'm willing to engage. For the sake of our Lord and His great name, I will wage war on this temple so that He may be honored through my life and my body. Battle on my friends...battle on.

1 comment:

layla said...

Thanks so much for sharing these ugly truths. I wonder sometimes if I'm the only one. Unfortunatly I'm still stuck in the excuses but our Lord is leading me to a place of repentance of my self control and true moment by moment dependence on His unfailing grace