Stuck in a rut

I.am.in.a.rut. There, I said it. I am a creature of habit, and I like order, really like order, adore order. If you know me well, you know that I love label makers, organization stores and anything in alphabetical order. I thrive on punctuality, details and preparation! My attraction and desire for those things comes from a childhood of chaos..never knowing what life would be like at home (that’s what happens when your mom has a mental illness and is gone most of the time). In order to have some semblance of control, I chose to place order in my life...through schoolwork, a tidy house, and a schedule. So, I’ve had to give up a lot of those orderly dreams with 5 children, but they are still there (sometimes they are well hidden). My house is picked up most of the time although rarely clean (to my standards) these days. But still, I thrive when things are in order.


Thus, the reason for my rut. I enjoy the exact same morning routine and wearing the same exercise clothes (I have my favorites and somehow think I run better in them). I like to run at the same time every day (5:30 and not a minute later). I like the same route (the flatter, the better..thank you very much). I listen to the same music (although I’m venturing out there by allowing the shuffle feature to be on).


But, just last week I was lamenting to my accountability team that I haven’t lost very much weight lately (only 2 pounds in about a month). Two different people sent me information about running and how not changing up my routine could be causing this. Uugggh…. I would rather cut out a food group or cut off my arm than change my routine…yes, it’s THAT bad! So, it’s what I NEED to do but certainly not what I WANT to do…


And hey, isn’t that the point. It’s NOT about what I want to do but what He wants me to do. Learning to eat and exercise well is a testimony to relinquishing control of my physical self to God Almighty. I am not in charge…He is. It is not my way that should prevail but His. With a heavy heart and a dejected spirit, I lay it down. I will run later today and will run a different route. I will continue to run but in different ways…hill workouts, different paths, various times.


For many of you, this is probably not a big deal. For me it feels like a huge mountain to overcome. Please pray with me and for me that I will fight this one well and will honor Christ with my efforts!