Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Stuck in a rut There, I said it. I am a creature of habit, and I like order, really like order, adore order. If you know me well, you know that I love label makers, organization stores and anything in alphabetical order. I thrive on punctuality, details and preparation! My attraction and desire for those things comes from a childhood of chaos..never knowing what life would be like at home (that’s what happens when your mom has a mental illness and is gone most of the time). In order to have some semblance of control, I chose to place order in my life...through schoolwork, a tidy house, and a schedule. So, I’ve had to give up a lot of those orderly dreams with 5 children, but they are still there (sometimes they are well hidden). My house is picked up most of the time although rarely clean (to my standards) these days. But still, I thrive when things are in order.

Thus, the reason for my rut. I enjoy the exact same morning routine and wearing the same exercise clothes (I have my favorites and somehow think I run better in them). I like to run at the same time every day (5:30 and not a minute later). I like the same route (the flatter, the better..thank you very much). I listen to the same music (although I’m venturing out there by allowing the shuffle feature to be on).

But, just last week I was lamenting to my accountability team that I haven’t lost very much weight lately (only 2 pounds in about a month). Two different people sent me information about running and how not changing up my routine could be causing this. Uugggh…. I would rather cut out a food group or cut off my arm than change my routine…yes, it’s THAT bad! So, it’s what I NEED to do but certainly not what I WANT to do…

And hey, isn’t that the point. It’s NOT about what I want to do but what He wants me to do. Learning to eat and exercise well is a testimony to relinquishing control of my physical self to God Almighty. I am not in charge…He is. It is not my way that should prevail but His. With a heavy heart and a dejected spirit, I lay it down. I will run later today and will run a different route. I will continue to run but in different ways…hill workouts, different paths, various times.

For many of you, this is probably not a big deal. For me it feels like a huge mountain to overcome. Please pray with me and for me that I will fight this one well and will honor Christ with my efforts!

1 comment:

Jennifer Babcock said...

Isaiah 40:28-31 The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.