Monday, April 28, 2014

I'm QUITTING....or not.

Some day I totally get it. And then there are many others where I just don’t. Why are some days easier and others a struggle?

As I was running on Thursday, my drive to QUIT was in full gear. Here’s what happened:

Start running (I had asked JT to vary the route because I needed something different. Maybe this is what initiated my quit reflex.)

Ran 1 mile and kept thinking about how I should cut it short today. Only 2 miles, maybe 2.5.

No, I would have to mark my chart with a yellow (warning) color instead of green. I don’t want that.

Who cares? I don’t. Most of my runs have been greens. One more yellow is just fine. I seem to have a problem running on Thursdays anyway. Maybe I should just take Thursdays off. I don’t run as well on Thursdays. I think Thursday should be my off day.

Walked for a short time (30 seconds), started running again. Ran until 2 miles.

Headed toward the bathrooms. Maybe I just go to the restroom and then start over. Might as well run and not walk to the bathrooms.

Don’t have to go to the restroom anymore. JT is off on another trail. I could just sit here and check the news or my e-mail.

Oh, I’m at 2.1 anyway. Just run to the entrance and get to 2.5 before seeing JT again.

There he is. He’s already at 2.75 and I’m not to 2.5 yet. Run with him.

He made it to 3.1 and I’m at 2.75. Wanna quit again. This is close enough and further than I thought I would go today. I hate Thursday mornings.

Might as well go to 3.1. Keep running. Okay, done. Thursdays are just not my day to run. I finished but it was ugly.

It was a constant mental battle to run and stay focused. I walked a little and just stopped several times (turning off my app so that the time standing wouldn’t affect my overall run time). It was NOT pleasant at all.

There are days when I can run a 5K without many issues (it is still a struggle but not as much as other times). And then there are Thursdays, which clearly are not made for running. And I just want to give up at every turn.

My desire to quit is overwhelming at times. The enemy fans the flames and speaks lies to me. Quit. Stop. Who cares? What does it really matter? You have plenty of time? It’s not a big deal. No one will know.

But, God’s Word tells me differently. 1 Corinthians 9:24-27 is clear. “Run in such a way that you may win.” What? How will I win if I don’t even finish? Winning a race is not likely in my future, but not quitting is. That’s success for me. Verse 25 speaks about exercising self-control in ALL areas. Oh, how I have struggled here. Food and exercise. Both have clearly seen a lack of self-control and an abundance of laziness and giving up! I need the Holy Spirit to take over every area of my life, and I must constantly surrender this part of me. Running without quitting is a matter of self-control…focusing on Christ and His call and not on the enemy’s constant nagging. Then there’s the whole “buffet my body and make it my slave” (v. 27). I have so failed in this area time and time again. I have allowed my mouth to decide what to eat without even giving it a second thought. But, my body should be a slave to God’s design for me and not the other way around.

Warren Wiersbe says this: “We cannot be good athletes merely by being spectators. If we are merely spectators, the only muscles we will develop are our eye muscles! (Well, maybe our vocal cords, too.) Somebody has defined a football game as an event in which thousands of people who need exercise pay for the privilege of cheering for twenty-two healthy men who need no exercise. Of course, it is much easier to be a spectator than a participant—except when the event is over and they give out the prizes. Then we will wish we had gotten out of the stands and joined the team. It isn’t too late to start running.” (Wiersbe, W. W. Be what you are: 12 intriguing pictures of the Christian from the New Testament. Wheaton IL: Tyndale House)

This is a lifelong battle for me and for some of you. We must continue to keep going even when we don’t want to. Our feelings and desires cannot determine when and where we will obey. Battle on friends, battle on.

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