Saturday, May 24, 2014

In Need of Much Grace

The sun was coming up as evidenced through the slight crack in the bedroom curtains. Time to get up, God seemed to say. So I did. And, contrary to most days when I find solace in the leather chair in the keeping room, I sat down on the couch in the living room. Why did I do that?

I envisioned a lengthy quiet time with the Lord before my run. I didn't get it. I heard talking from the boys' room...and because in my dreams, I am a detective, I could tell they had been up for a while and their bedroom door was closed. I also know how much they weigh but that probably doesn't have anything to do with my sleuthing skills.

I was automatically angry.

Needing some grace, Lord.

I settle down and continue my plan when I hear them again, even louder. Their older sister went to Six Flags yesterday and is going to be extremely tired this morning. Let the girl sleep until at least 8, would ya? Nope. I hear them AGAIN.

Anger seething now.

Lord, please give me grace.

I tiptoe up the steps to find them in the floor of their room talking in regular voices. One of them is naked and has sheets crumpled on the floor in front of him. The other is just talking...not helping at all. I am mad. Another wet bed? That adds two loads to the already five loads I have to do today and DID I MENTION IT'S SATURDAY AND WE WANTED TO RELAX TODAY?

Grumpy and mean mommy comes out demanding that they finish stripping the bed. Get back in bed and go back to sleep until 8. Do not talk and do not make any noise. EVER.

With my arms full of sheets, blankets, wet clothes and three extra outfits that just so happened to be on his bed, I stumble back down the stairs, and I find myself enraged. Why are they doing this today? Is this the way our day is going to be?

I wanted to have my quiet time. I wanted to run. I wanted a shower. I wanted a hot breakfast. I wanted to relax and do nothing.

I, I, I, I, I.

I find myself in need of more than God's grace...I need His discipline first. God reminds me that they are my job. Those children are my responsibility, and I just taught them a thing or two about grace and mercy...because I showed them NONE.

As soon as they awake, there's an apology I will be making. And that shower? I hope it dumps God's grace all over me because I need it today.

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