Saturday, January 29, 2011

Not Always Picture Perfect...

The best big brother...enjoying having a boy playmate!

Peaceful sleep - this comes during naptime and after a terror grieving fit.
We have already spent quite a lot of time in the yard playing ball and running!



The home of our hosts, Peter and Phoebe Sozi, in Kampala.


When I write these posts, I tend to think of updating family and friends on where we are in the process. At the same time, this is a journal for our children to read later in life. And, it is for those who will follow the road of adoption one day. So, in light of all of these, I tend to think of anything that would be an encouragement to those reading it....but today, that is hard.

We have had numerous "fits" today and let me explain what I mean by that. It is a kicking, screaming, crying episode that lasts 10-30 minutes each time. Think of a 2 year old tantrum grounded in grief. What do Zeke and Elly have to grieve? A lot! They have both been neglected, abandoned and hurt by the people who are closest to them. But, now they are in a home with people they don't know who talk a language they don't know. Everything is new and scary. So, when they have a fit, we hold them and whisper "I love you, and I will always love you. God loves you more." They cry and cry and cry.

Today was a day with at least 10 fits between the two of them...and of course, they don't time them to be together.....(just like their nap times). So, it is draining and exhausting. It is hard and painful. But, with God's grace, we endure.

So, it's not always picture perfect, but it IS God's design for our family. He is teaching me so much about grace, mercy and love. I am thankful for the pain, and I know that there is growth in the process. There are moments when I think I can't take it anymore (and then I realize this is just the beginning), and I cling to the cross of Christ.

Please continue to pray for us. Your posts have been a blessing beyond measure here, and they help to keep me going! We love you all!

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry the children are experiencing these periods of grief and fear. I am sure this is foreign to Jett, Madison and Kaitlyn, too. This is when you cry out to Jesus for His peace and comfort for all of you. It sounds as if you are doing all you can to calm their fears. Loving them through these times will show your love for them, but is also teaching patience and trust to you. I will continue to pray for God's hand to touch their little hearts and calm their souls. Everything and everybody is so new and different and it will just take time and patience and lots of love. I wish I were there to help hold them during these time to give you some rest. Perhaps today will be a better day for all of you. You know you can climb up in our Father's big lap and let Him love on you, too. My love, hugs and prayers - Mom/Meemaw

MIssi said...

Wow. I am totally in awe of the gospel picture here. Don't we fight God's love and throw fits of fear and grief and He still adopts us into His family. Thank you for sharing your story! We're praying for ya'll!

Debra said...

There are so few words to express the depth of sadness in my own heart for the hurt/fear/terror being experienced by Zeke and Elly. Thankful that they now have you to hold them, communicate love to them, and demonstrate the love of God for them so that one day they can run to the Great Physician, healer of all wounds who will heal all the hurts in the depths of their heart! Praying for all of you!!

Keri Mason said...

Hey Sheryl...Eden grieved/tantrumed really bad the first few weeks (multiple times daily for the first week or so). I remember it well. It is SO hard to let them grieve. She would gather up the few things she brought with her from the foster home (things we had sent her), then she would start this moaning noise and rock back and forth and then just fall apart and pitch a fit that was worse than a redneck's kid in Wal-Mart! Just want you to know I am praying for you and JT and your little ones. Sometimes I just cried with her if it was "one of those days" and she didn't seem to mind one bit. I will say, though, that some great bonding, holding, loving came right after those fits (she wouldn't allow me to hold her during hers but would melt in my arms after). It speaks volumes to their heart when we are just there, no matter how they act. It does get better...and quickly (at least for Eden). Love you...and they are absolutely beautiful!

Deidre said...

Praying for you sweet friend. I remember those grieving cries of Kendall the first few weeks home all too well. I would sit and just cry and grieve with her, while praising God for His Son and redemption.

Your children are beautiful! I cannot wait to see the light come into their eyes once they fully understand that they are wanted, cared for and loved!! Praying for rest and wisdom for all in your family!

Anonymous said...

Sadly, sometimes I feel as if I'm throwing the same sort of fit in my heart when we are realizing that it will be yet another month before we can see and hold our daughter. I think JT's mom's advice is the best thing. I have had times when crawling up into the Father's arms is the only consolation that works. Praying for you to see the endless size of His gracious arms and unfathomable depth of His pool of love for each of you. What strange and wonderful days lie ahead, dear friends! Hugging you from across the Pond--The Baileys

Anonymous said...

This is a great beginning for your children...rejoice! For them to be allowed to grieve and express their anger, confusion, and desperation is a wonderful gift! TOUGH, though it may be...IT IS GOOD! Our precious S(daughter) went through such tantrums...I completely can empathize...so volatile, so confused...God is so amazing to allow our precious children this time so that you and JT can BECOME their parents...their security...their model of their Heavenly Father...as a dear friend has said, "the gospel is a messy business!" This too shall pass, and it will serve only to endear your precious children's hearts to you even more...our prayers are with you all...LOOK UP!We love you all!
The Christenberrys
(seen our next child yet?)

Anonymous said...

Friends, I understand the difficult times. Keep looking to Jesus-only He can get you through. Cry out to God! He will sustain you. You were chosen to be their Mommy and Daddy, trust in Him. Healing is happening. I love y'all. Laura D.

Angelia Stewart said...

Loving you from far away. Wish I could be there to wrap my arms around you and whisper in your ear - "I love you and we are praying for you - every minute of every day. Not a day goes by that we don't think of you, cry with you and rejoice with you. The Spirit will empower you to love them through this. He will give you the strength, patience and wisdom you don't have. He is sufficient for all things." Love you...

Lori McGuire said...

Hey Sheryl:

I totally agree about the need to "hole up" and focusing on becoming a family. It's hard for others to understand, as you already know, but it is certainly what's best for the you and the children.

As for the fits, I know that is so frustrating, especially when you can only suspect why they are upset. The language barrier becomes so frustrating when they are sad, crying, angry and you can't communicate with them. But we know that GOD IS communicating with them in the deepest places of their soul.

Praying for you all,
Lori McGuire

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