Monday, April 8, 2013


Do you ever wait in traffic for hours only to see a police car on the OPPOSITE side of the interstate and no one is even broken down on your side? You totally expect to see an outline of a body on the pavement or even tarps/sheets covering something you don't need to see... Or you watch Nascar just to see a massive multi car pileup? Are we really a people who desire to see destruction and despair?

Yes, I think we are. We somehow thrive on the failures of others. We expect and sometimes want others to fall. We even anticipate it. It makes us feel better or at least for a few moments.

At the same time we long for honesty and truthfulness. We have lived far too long in a society where adults were NEVER wrong, admission of wrongdoing is seen as weak and perfection is required. We, especially as women and mothers, have turned the tide. Racing to read the latest blog of a mom who messes up, feeds her kids cookies or chips for breakfast, barely gets clothes on her kids and admits to long stints of not seeking the Lord, we cuddle up to our computers longing to KNOW that other women are not measuring up. We YEARN for God to be our all in all and to not rely on ourselves.

In light of those facts, I admit this...If I title the blog with something that indicates my failure, more people read it...a LOT more people triple the usual numbers. Why?

At first I had the defeatist and negative attitude...why do people want to see me fail? But I have to realize that I do the same thing. While on the surface I may look for the negative, I truly want to KNOW that I am not alone in falling... I want to truly know that I can fall and mess up and then get back up. I need the encouragement to keep going.

This past Saturday we went out to dinner with some friends. I was wearing a baby doll type dress over leggings. When I went to the restroom, one of the employees came in and practically shouted, "Oh, you look SOOOO CUTE..." (insert one-half second of thankfulness for the compliment) "I wish I had looked like that when I was pregnant!" I smiled and went straight for the stall. My mind was reeling when I took a few moments to think through the situation. My dress is loose, but I do NOT look pregnant, for the first time in a LONG time. It was an innocent comment, and it rattled me. Why? Because my mind goes back to the image of what I was...

In light of the recent Easter holiday, I am reminded that God makes all things new (Revelation 21:5). He turns life into death, and He is the One who has transformed my heart and body. I am overwhelmed with His grace and goodness, and I will continue to rely on Him.

I am at the end of myself...exactly where He desires for me to be. He is my all in all, and I desire nothing more. He is good, and He is more than enough!

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