It's the week I've been anticipating for a while now...okay, maybe dreading a little...and the feeling like I'm just about to lose my lunch? Well, I have that too.
Over a year ago God impressed on me to teach what I was learning. Easy enough. I do that every day, right? I homeschool five kids and teaching is just a natural part of my life. Teach a little person how to pair up socks out of the dryer. Teach a teenager how to plan meals for the week. Teach another one how to drive defensively. Show a boy how to order from a menu. Etc, etc, etc. It's just my life.
Then, there's discipleship in spiritual matters...teaching women how to study the Bible, pray, love their husbands, serve joyfully. Got it. Doing it and LOVING it. One of my most favorite things is teaching other women who can carry on an adult conversation with me, and we can sharpen one another! LOVE that kind of teaching!
But teaching what God has shown me regarding health and exercise? Um, no thank you. I have only been doing this for 16 months now, and I am CERTAINLY NO EXPERT. I am just learning too. And, I MIGHT FAIL....there it is...the REAL reason. The pressure that I am placing on myself is unnecessary, I know. I have counseled myself regarding it, and I am fully aware that it is unreasonable and irrational. But, it is there haunting me.
What if I slip? What is someone sees me eating something I shouldn't eat? What if I just don't exercise for days at a time? Then, what will they think? Can I really teach something that I barely know myself?
Ultimately, these feelings of unworthiness and failure come from the enemy and not the Lord. It just shines a light on the lack of trust I have in God's plan. He has called me to do this, and I need to obey because I love Him, not for any other reason. So, I step out in faith knowing that He is doing this for His glory and my good. I do NOT understand, and I do NOT see where this is going. But, He does, and I trust Him.
Please pray that as I begin teaching this Bible study on God's plan for our physical temples, that God would be most glorified in my weakness. Pray that He would be exalted above all else and He will show each of us how to honor Him more.
2 comments:
Remember that God calls us in all shapes and sizes to be witnesses. Those who saw miracles didn't wait to tell others, they went right out and started sharing. You have an amazing story to tell/share. God will be totally sufficient and provide you with the words to speak. - Wendy Peacock
He is faithful where we are not. This will not return void to you, sweet friend. Love you.
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