Thursday, February 3, 2011

Lord, help us....


Zeke posing again...this one is for Autumn.


Seriously...how cute is this?


Happy eyes...I love them!

h
Elly likes to brush Mommy's hair.

Jett being Jett...love this kid. So proud of him!

I would love for each of these posts to be uplifting and encouraging, but life is messy, and it is not always "Sunday morning" acceptable. I am weary...I am tired...I stink...I want to go home. I wish I could just wrap up all five of my kids and be in my house. I want a real shower...I want some coffee...I want my house.... I want, I want, I want. I am trying to die to self so that Christ may be glorified. It is SO hard....I cannot do this alone...I simply can't do this.

I've spent many hours crying here. Things definitely do not go as planned. We've been told 7 different times that we were going to get our birth certificates for our kids (very important to both the court process here in Uganda and the visa process for the US). We still don't have them....one of them is downtown at a ministry office and the other is still in process. I cannot adequately communicate the frustration, anger, confusion and disappointment I feel.

But, I know in the One whom I have believed. He is able, and He is faithful. I rely completely on Him. I NEED God to do what only He can do today...I cannot do this. I fail miserably, but He never fails. I will fall flat on my face (and have many times) without God. I am nothing without Him. He is everything!

I have to tell you that I'm at the end of my rope. I have just finished reading Mary Beth Chapman's book....wow. I cried a lot. God ministered to me and spoke directly to my heart through her journey. It was just what I needed right now. But more than any book, I rely on His Word. It sustains me...it nourishes me. I cannot do anything else right now but seek Him.

Please pray for our process. We are all very weary and are concerned about our older three children. They are all growing tired...they are eager to return home. They have all been a little weepy and homesick.

We love you all!

11 comments:

Stephanie said...

praying for you all. i can't imagine.

Anonymous said...

Sister, I am praying for you! My heart breaks for you and your family. I have been there and I understand your feelings. It is so hard on the older kids. It's hard on our "new" kids- takes time for trust. It's a total surrender to our God while you are in the process. That is the only way to make it while you are in the midst of the difficulties. God is truly bigger than all of it. You are fulfilling a purpose He intended for you. You know all of this... I have no advice because my words are hollow and mean nothing. The is Lord is your strength, your rock, your fortress and your deliverer, in whom you take refuge. He is your shield and the horn of your salvation, your stronghold. When you call upon the Lord, He will hear your voice-praise God! I love y'all and we are praying. Laura D.

Michelle Wilson said...

Yes, oh my do I ever remember the hard days of waiting on a birth certificate. Even if you are not waiting on a birth certificate, Uganda can be a really hard country to be in. Especially for your older kids. I am praying for you, and for them, and for those stinkin' birth certificates. Love you guys!

Sandy said...

I LOVE all the pictures. We are praying for you and crew! God is amazing and His timing is perfect! I pray for His provision and your strength. We love you!

Debra said...

Back at the beginning of the year, I shared with you that the Lord laid upon my heart to pray Colossians 1:9-12 for your family through this adoption process. Every time I read an update, the Holy Spirit prompts me to pray those verses again for ALL of you. Praying esp. v.11 today..."May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy".....v.12, "giving thanks to the Father..."
We will continue to pray until you are home....

Amy said...

I am praying for you so much. The pictures are amazing...

Angelia Stewart said...

We are right here. Praying, interceding and going before the Father on your behalf. I know that you feel alone. I wish there were some way to physically reach you. Praying that God will make His presence physically felt in your family today. May His Spirit empower you to do what you are unable to do. He exalts Himself in our inability. He glorifies Himself the most when circumstances are the most bleak. Hold on my friend... joy comes in the morning!

Anonymous said...

I am sure all of you are tired and ready to come home. I feel for Kaitlyn, Madison and Jett as they ask, how much longer. This time is a time of spiritual growth for all of you as you must totally put your trust in the Lord. I wish I could be there to give each one of you a big hug and cry with you. I am praying that the birth certificates will appear quickly and the process can move forward. It is times like these that I must visualize climbing up in God's great big lap and letting Him hold me close to His heart. You need to feel His love and His presence as you rest in His loving arms. Perhaps we can Skype this weekend - please let me know a time so I can be home. Hang in there - remember, when you are at the end of your rope it is the Lord that is the knot you can hold on to. I am praying hard and know all things will work for your good. Remember - the Joy of the Lord is your Strength. My love, hugs and prayers, Mom/Meemaw

Robin Cheatham said...

I will not even pretend to know how you are feeling. May the God who created you, and is Sovereign over all things give you strength.Please know, I am praying, especially for your children today!
I Love You,
Robin

April said...

Turners, Please know you are lifted in prayer today (tonight, when you get this?). We love your family dearly. We pray for you, miss you and look forward to greeting all SEVEN of you back home. There will be much coffee and fresh cantaloupe for all! :)

Joy said...

Got up yesterday with your family on my mind. Shared your story with my weekly prayer group and we are praying for you, especially during this week of details.
Loved the M.B.Chapman book as well! Lots of tears.
Joy